


Heat In Your Gaze

by Chibirini1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Come Eating, Comeplay, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, Omega Rey, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey, What Was I Thinking?, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-05-03 10:31:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 49,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14567088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibirini1/pseuds/Chibirini1
Summary: When Rey, a feisty omega, wanders too far into the forest and starts her first heat, she is found by none other than Kylo Ren, an alpha with a secret. Will he be able to break against his clan's expectations to be with Rey? Or will she return to her lonely life once more?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so if you don't know anything about A/B/O dynamics, I suggest you go look it up through google or else you'll be a little confused! There will be smut in this story--you get a taste of it right away--but this a bit of a slow burn, so expect a suntan at least, lol. Thanks for reading, please leave a comment!

When she realized what was happening to her, she was too deep into the forest to turn back. Rey had felt warm and feverish all day, but she had brushed it off as just warm weather now that the sweet delicate flowers of spring were being swallowed by the thick summer grasses.

But no. As Rey curled up beneath the ledge of a rock, her legs weak and slick with her own fluids, she cursed whatever god made her an omega. She had been out this far for a reason—to gather the herbs needed to suppress her heat. If the marks on the rock wall of her cave were correct, she should have been safe for another week or so. But her body—or the gods—had cursed her by giving her a heat that came early when she was far from home. She was honestly terrified that she was so far, but the yellow root daisy plant only grew in certain fields. She knew there was a village somewhere around here, but she had never ventured into it and didn’t dare to now. A sniff of her would send every alpha into rut.

A warm breeze caressed her skin and Rey moaned softly. Even such a gentle caress sent her body screaming into her heat. It wanted to be touched. And this being her first heat…it would be worse than all others.

Rey wanted her clothes off. _Now._ The rough fabric brushed against her sensitive nipples, making her cry out every time. She was hot, so hot, especially at the apex of her thighs. Rey had never touched herself there except to wash even though she knew others did for pleasure. But nothing had ever enticed her, sparked her interest. She had smelled attractive alphas before when she visited the village closest to her—as an outcast of course. But the smell of sweat and urine underneath their alpha scents deterred her from any kind of interest.

Oh, if only she were home in her sweet cave with her furs and the cool, private stream. She would lay in it and drink it until the heat in her body was gone. Instead she was naturally weak, her body bending into submission as it readied herself to be mated with.

“Stupid,” She muttered through clenched teeth as she halfheartedly tried to get her rough tunic dress off. “There’s no one to mate with, so stop.”

But her body didn’t listen. Just like her mind wouldn’t listen when she felt lonely in her cave.

An hour or two passed as Rey hid herself beneath the jutted out rock above her, trying to avoid the heat of the sun. She felt hotter and hotter, until finally she stuck her hand between her legs and rubbed.

 _Finally._ Her body screamed with relief as tension grew. She was slippery with her own slick, and when she glanced down, her poor apex seemed swollen and pink. But the rubbing was helping, kind of. But there was this _ache._ She needed an alpha—or rather, his cock—to fill her. It was biologically wired throughout her body. She ached and throbbed around nothing and it hurt. It hurt so bad that she cried out, furious tears coursing down her cheeks into the dirt. She let out a dry sob or two until she heard the tell tale crack of a stick breaking beneath a foot.

“Hello?” Came a deep, gruff voice. She went still and silent with terror, shrinking back into her hiding place.

But the feet came closer until they were right before her, outfitted in nicely crafted leather boots. The breeze blew again, this time bringing his scent to Rey.

_An Alpha._

Immediately her body responded. Her nipples hardened, her cunt tightened, and she gasped out loud.

He was the best smelling alpha she’d ever smelled. Rich and musky, like pine and leather, but with a gentle touch of something else…something unknown. Maybe it was just her heat, or perhaps he was just well bathed, but she smelled no urine, no stink of sweat on him. Just pure, delicious alpha.

He squatted down and she was caught by his gaze. It was as dark as his midnight hair, his pupils large as he smelled her too. He was large for a male, well muscled and still young, although certainly older than she was. He had a smattering of moles across his face, and his long hair covered what she suspected were large ears, almost as large as his nose. But he was handsome, somehow, in the most interesting way. Rey wanted to look at him, and look at him. But there was no time for such things.

“Help me,” She gasped. “I need…I need…” She couldn’t say it. Frustrated tears came and she turned away in embarrassment. But a rough yet gentle touch fell upon her cheek.

“You’re in heat,” the man said breathlessly. “Your first?”

She nodded, looking up at this man, wondering how he was just sitting there. Any hot blooded alpha would be tearing off her clothes if they weren’t mated. But perhaps he was…

“What are you doing out here?” He said. “This is extremely dangerous. You smell…” he inhaled and then shuddered, and she knew what he meant. He smelled just as good to her as she did to him.

He reached for her and she managed, “No!” She was scared of this large alpha even if her body was attracted to him.

“Relax, I won’t hurt you,” he said firmly, and immediately she was calm. He put his hands on her to pull her out and suddenly a rush of _goodalphaisherealphawillkeepyousafe_ came over her. She could tell he was trying to be gentle, but he seemed unused to the act of being careful, so she had to bite her lip when he jostled her as he swung her into his arms.

“Alpha,” she whimpered. “Stop. I never…I haven’t…”

The look in his eyes was incredibly tender. And now, up close, she realized they weren’t so black, but brown, a warm brown.

“How on earth did you come about?” He asked. “Untouched, yet so…”

He trailed off and she would have been curious if she hadn’t been so overwhelmed. He held a canvas tote to her lips and she eagerly drank the water from it until there was no more. She began to actually relax a little, influenced by being so close to his absolutely perfect smell and because he was taking care of her. Inwardly, she was embarrassed. She had never needed anyone else in her entire life. Since age 6 she had taken care of herself.

He brought her around and laid her on the grass beneath the shade of a tree. She looked up at him, suddenly panicking. Was he going to leave her? Or was he going to…

He set his things down and knealt down before her. She stiffened with alarm.

“Are you going to—”

“No, I won’t mate with you,” he rumbled, his eyes meeting hers. “But I can’t bring you back to my village like this. I need to make you cum with my hands, my mouth. Is that all right?”

Hazily, she wanted to protest. Why not here, now? Why couldn’t he fill that ache for her? But the better part of her brain told her no, this was better. No babies this way. And maybe she could make it home after this.

So she nodded.

Immediately he went to work, peeling off her tunic and finally freeing her from it’s confines. She gasped as his warm wet mouth met hers, but she welcomed it with eagerness. Her fingers twined into his dark hair and she felt him, hard and eager against her leg through his pants. His tongue was startling but somehow comforting, the deep kiss reaffirming something in Rey’s chest, easing the tightness there that said that this man was a stranger. His dark gaze met hers as he pulled away, and they both panted and gazed into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Something clicked in Rey’s mind, and she was at once relaxed and pliant again.

He moved his gloriously plush lips to her sensitive nipples, sucking lightly and licking with the tip of his tongue. It felt amazing and sent shocks down and through her body. She cried out and her groaned.

“You’re going to have to stop making those noises,” he huffed, glancing up at her through his bangs. His warm breath caressed his swollen flesh. “I’ll cum in my pants just from that and make a mess.”

“Sorry,” she breathed. “I just…”

“I know,” he soothed, his big palm finding hers, grasping it. “It’s overwhelming.”

She nodded and held onto his hand for dear life as he kissed his way down to her mound. His large hand parted her legs. She squealed as he kissed her down there softly and let out a stifled moan as his broad tongue swiped up, parting her folds.

She was so sensitive that even his breath was good. But she needed more. With one hand in his and the other in his hair, she pressed him _down_ in order to get the pressure she needed. She was tough and strong, and she could handle all he had to give her.

His licks became more aggressive as he swung around her bud and down to the dip where she ached. He pulled back when she made an almost painful sound, glancing up at her with almost concern.

“I’m sure you’re aching,” he murmured, and caught some of her slick on his fingers. Then, without warning, he plunged two fingers inside her.

She howled at that—not from pain, but sharp, deep pleasure. Finally, her body screamed. Finally. He widened and curled his fingers inside of her as her hips tilted up then down, trying to move to get more friction. And still he lapped at her like a cat does water, his tongue satisfying the outside of her while his fingers stretched the aching muscles inside her.

She felt the tension building, and building, and building, until there was no soft grass beneath her and no bright green canopy above her and no fingers or mouths, just her exploding into pieces beneath him, his smell all around her. She clenched his hand hard enough to make his fingers bright red as she rode out her orgasm, but he didn’t seem to care. He continued his ministrations until she could finally breathe again, then he gently slid his fingers from inside her and stuck them in his mouth, eyes watching her the entire time.

She was shocked by this, and her eyes fell down to the tent in his trousers, and saw a large wet spot there. So he did come just by this, she thought wearily. And a part of her was glad. She felt the need to repay this man for tending to her.

Her brain was less foggy, her body now cooling slightly. Still she ached, and still she wanted, but it was less so right then. She felt more like herself than she had all day.

Because of this, she withdrew her hand from his, feeling shy.

“I don’t know your name,” she said quietly as he watched her from between her legs.

He gave her a small smile—his entire face changing into a younger, even more handsome one. “It’s Kylo.”

She nodded and swallowed dryly. “I’m Rey.”

She reached for her tunic and refused his help with putting it back on.

“Can you walk?” He asked, and she nodded before even assessing herself.

She looked to the west, where home lay, and frowned. “I better get going,” she said awkwardly. She didn’t know what to say or how to thank him.

He frowned then. “I was serious. I’m bringing you back to my village. You’re in no shape to walk home, and it’ll be dark soon.”

The sun was dipping down in the sky. But Rey refused to consider it.

“I have to get home,” she argued. “It’s the only place I’ll be safe.”

His chest puffed up. “I will keep you safe, Rey. You will be untouched in my village if I bring you to my hut.”

Her cheeks burned and she scrambled to try and get up, but like a fawns, her legs gave up on her shortly after she got to her feet. Luckily he caught her, swinging her up into his arms.

“Hey!” she objected, but his look silenced her.

“I’m taking you to my home, and I will see you through your heat. End of discussion.”

She puffed out her cheeks as he picked up his pack and began walking.

“Why are you helping me?” She asked Kylo, and a strange look came over his face.

“It’s what any good alpha would do,” he replied.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo takes Rey home and reveals why they cannot knot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the encouragement guys! I hope you like this! Come visit me at Alicecantescape on tumblr to see a moodboard for this fic and to say hi! And like, actually say hi. I love talking to readers.

The light dimmed as they neared Kylo’s village. Rey felt horribly embarrassed as they reached the outskirts of the village—she smelled strongly of her own fluids, she was being carried like a delicate flower, and she was a stranger. She hated all the eyes on her, and she began to struggle in Kylo’s arms.

“Let me down,” she said, and he tightened his grip on her.

“No. I won’t have other alphas jumping at you.”

“I can protect myself,” Rey hissed, and Kylo fixed his gaze on her. He said nothing, but a tremor went down Rey’s spine. He looked dangerous.

Unfortunately, her body did not take his threatening look the same as her mind did. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks and to her cunt, causing her to pulse and clench around nothing. She prayed and prayed that she would not begin to leak onto Kylo, but as they walked through the village she felt her slick running down her thigh. She buried her face into Kylo’s neck, comforted by the heady smell of his scent glands.

She hid from the eyes of the people working outside their mud and straw huts. Like the village near Rey’s cave, people were tanning hides and skinning furs. Somewhere nearby, there was a source of water that she could hear. It seemed like eternity until they reached his hut, a large and well built home set apart from the others towards the far end of the village. It seemed that Kylo too valued his privacy.

He ducked inside, letting the large hide covering his door swing closed behind them. Inside, the light was dim despite the hole in the roof that let smoke escape the hut from his fire. It was filled with more furs than Rey had ever seen. Piles of them atop reed mats. Covering the walls. Herbs that kept mice away were scattered throughout the hut, filling the air with a nice smell.

He placed her on the straw filled mattress and she closed her eyes as she sunk into it. What luxury, to be able to have a straw tick mattress! To own one was a lot of work—you had to have your own field to be able to gather fresh straw each year to stuff it with. This, along with the piles of furs—some exotic and unfamiliar to even Rey, who considered herself a fine huntress—meant that Kylo was an important man indeed.

“Are you a chieftain?” Rey asked softly, wonder seeping into her voice. Kylo shook his head as he tended to the fire, adding sticks to it from a pile by the door and blowing on the ashes.

“No, but I am in line to become our village’s chieftain. Our leader now is named Snoke.”

Rey sucked in a breath. “Snoke the lion killer?” She asked, and Kylo nodded.

“The same.”

Snoke was a legend throughout these parts. He had been mangled by a lion as a child, and as an adult had sought out the same lion to kill it and its pride, taking the golden furs home with him. Rey, who never traveled in hopes that her parents would return to her own village, had heard this from a traveler. She had never thought she would come to the village he dwelled in.

Kylo brought her a drink of water from a closed earthern jug near the front door, and she drank it gratefully. He knelt down before the straw tick and drew a finger up her golden thigh, gathering her slick on his finger.

“You need tending to,” he said matter of factly. “You need to tell me when your heat begins to overwhelm you like this.”

Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and warmth. “I can handle this myself,” she said.

He scoffed. “Is that what you were doing when I found you? Because you weren’t doing a very good job.”

She bared her teeth at him. “I never asked for your help, Alpha.”

He smiled, but it was a smug smile. “Actually, you did.”

Her nether regions tingled and pulsed with want. She couldn’t ignore it for much longer.

“I don’t recall that,” she said pridefully. Kylo looked at her with his dark eyes and was silent, his fingers rubbing the cloth of her tunic between his fingers. She shifted, uncomfortable.

“This fabric is very thin from washing,” he said softly. “Are such pretty omegas overlooked in your village? Why is it that you do not have an alpha yet?”

“Maybe because I haven’t wanted one,” She muttered, and his eyebrow quirked. She swallowed hard as his fingers drifted over her thigh. “Besides, I don’t live in the village. I live in a cave outside of it.”

“An outcast?” He said, surprised. “You?” His eyes narrowed. “Are you diseased?”

“No!” She snapped, pushing his still fingers away, insulted. “My parents just left me, that’s all. I fend for myself.”

“Hmm,” he said, his eyes soft. “So you were…discarded? For what reason?”

Rey tugged her feet under her and felt tears rise in her eyes. Stupid omega heat hormones. “They favored the drink. But they will realize their mistake and come back one day. I know they will.”

Kylo said nothing, only looked at her with pity in his eyes. She hated it.

“That’s why I need to get home,” Rey said firmly, eyeing the fire. She felt so hot.

“You’re not going anywhere in the state your in,” Kylo replied quietly. “Now will you let me tend to you or not? You are looking…quite flushed.”

Rey sucked in a big breath. She could ignore him, but her heat would only get worse. Might as well let him help her and sneak out while he was sleeping. She had never been knotted before, but she knew his cum would help sate her heat. Then maybe she’d make it home before her heat swelled again.

“Alright,” she said, “But I’ve…I’ve never been knotted before. So please be careful…”

He looked startled. “I…I can’t knot you, Rey. I can only help you as I did before.”

She frowned. But that only lasted an hour or so! “Why can’t you?” She asked. Was she that repulsive?

He ran a hand through his midnight hair. “I am…promised. To an omega of our clan. Her name is Phasma.”

Rey’s eyes widened and her heart panged. Of course he was promised. A handsome, strong alpha like him…

“I see,” she said tightly. “But you are allowed to do…this?”

He shrugged. “It is not a love match, just political. I turn the other way when she fools around with another alpha named Hux, so I doubt she’d care.”

Rey swallowed. “Why only promised? Why not mated already?”

Kylo frowned and sighed. “Snoke wants it to be an auspicious mating. We are set to mate at the summer solstice.”

Rey nodded, but inwardly she felt more alone than ever. A very, very small part of her had been so attracted to this man, that she had thought that maybe, just maybe he would be someone she could care about.

But it was not to be. The summer solstice was weeks away. He was promised. All this—the furs, the land, even the straw tick she was laying on was to be Phasma’s, not hers.

“Are you upset?” Kylo asked, his frown concerned. “I didn’t mean to mislead you.”

Rey shook her head then forced a laugh. “I’m a pretty solitary creature,” she said. “I don’t mind. I just want to go home.”

The look in Kylo’s eyes hardened and his jaw set firm. “Of course,” he replied. “Right.”

Rey licked her lips. Her heat was begging her to touch herself, and her breaths were more like pants at this rate. “So…you can help me?” She asked.

Kylo nodded. “Of course. You must be uncomfortable. I can smell how ready you are.”

Rey stripped off her tunic and laid back on the bed. Kylo took off his shirt and came over her, his eyes intensely black. She swallowed as her arms came up around his neck, and he closed his eyes as she touched his scent glands.

He leaned down and licked hers, nuzzling and kissing as well. She inhaled deeply and sharply—oh if only he would bite! Just to feel it.

He took her breast in his mouth again, humming a he did so. She cried out as the warmth of his mouth enveloped her tender nipple. It felt so good she forgot to be shy of how small they were. He did the same to her other nipple before releasing it with a pop. But she stopped him before he moved down like he did before.

“Let me help you too,” she said. “It’s only fair.”

Startled, he blinked then glanced down. His leather trousers were tented and stretched around his groin, and Rey’s mouth went dry as she realized how big he must be. He glanced back up at her through his bangs.

“Are you sure, Rey?”

She nodded. “Please,” she murmured. It was instinctual for her to want to please her alpha. Even if he wasn’t technically hers.

He kissed her on the lips, a sweet gesture, then stood before her as he stripped himself of clothing. She held back a gasp as he revealed himself to her.

He was big. Much bigger than she had guessed. Flushed and hard, his member proudly jutted away from his body and his full sac with almost bravado. A clear fluid weeped from the tip, the shine of it dripping down just a bit of his cock and making the red tip of it look like a bright ruby. Rey salivated at the sight of it as her eyes traveled down only to see his knot, his amazingly thick knot that she immediately knew she wanted inside of her. He had hardly any body hair, just a black trail that led down to his member from his rock hard abs. He was beautiful, shaped like a god. She couldn’t stop staring at him.

He gave himself a few hard pumps, and she was taken back to reality. The look on his face was unbelievably shy, as if he wasn’t sure of his godliness. She sat up on the mattress and reached for him, just wanting to feel him close.

“Kylo,” she murmured. “Kiss me, please.”

His arms came around her and his lips were on hers in a moment. She could feel him rubbing against her and she cried out mid kiss just because it felt so good, so _right._ Just a few inches down and he and his glorious knot would slip inside her. Where he surely belonged.

They kissed for more than a few minutes, his hips rocking into hers as they rubbed against each other. His hand kneaded her bottom, encouraging her to open her legs wider and wider until she could feel the air brush her most intimate parts.

Her hands traveled all around him—his back, his tight stomach, his broad shoulders, all of him was like a warm, skin covered marble. And he was here with her.

She sighed into the kiss and hitched her hips up further so that the tip of him was lined up with her opening. But he froze and forced her hips back down with his hand.

“No, Rey,” he said. She panted and tried to regain her thoughts.

“Sorry,” she breathed. “Just the heat.”

He nodded and kissed her again once more before turning around so that his cock was hanging directly over her mouth.

“Now we can both…” Kylo said quietly, glancing back at her. She nodded and opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue for an experimental lick at his dripping member.

His hips jolted and he shuddered. But then he bent down and put his lips to her and suddenly she forgot everything. There was only his perfect, delightful tongue and her pulsing cunt. He slipped a finger into her easily and began sucking on her bud, causing her to cry out his name.

But through the haze, she knew she was forgetting something. Him! She had to please him, had to return the favor. She drew him into her mouth and sucked, hard. He jumped a little, but did not pause in his ministrations. Determinedly, neither did she. She used her tongue to lick at all the sweet juice he was exuding from his member, then wrapped her mouth around him and sucked at him like her life depended on it. She only stopped to breathe, and eventually got the hang of breathing through her nose while she sucked. Her small hand came up and stroked him, especially his knot. He was just so hard and yet so soft there, the skin sensitive and smooth. His sac was played with as well, which he seemed to love because he twitched in her mouth as she squeezed him gently.

Meanwhile, he was diligently licking at her with broad strokes. He had worked three fingers inside her and was curling them just right as he licked and sucked. His lips were wide and plush, perfect for what he was doing. He seemed to genuinely enjoy the act and the taste of her, catching her leakage with his free hand and rubbing it into his own skin. She was confused for a moment—why was he scenting himself with her? But perhaps it was just a natural thing. Rey didn’t know.

Soon enough, she felt herself coming undone. Stars exploded across her vision and she clenched around his fingers, a few desperate thrusts of her hips happening to keep the pleasure from fading. He continued licking her until she came down from her high and whimpered from the sensitivity. Her lips fell from his member, and it came to her suddenly that she was the only one to have come.

He pulled away from her, but she grabbed for his hand. “Wait, I didn’t make you—”

“It’s fine,” he said.

She frowned and pushed him over on the bed and straddled him. “It’s not fine,” She said breathlessly. “I-I want to give you this.”

Their eyes locked on each other’s until he finally nodded, and she knelt between his legs. She went to work there, keeping her eyes locked with his. She sensed that he was able to lose himself now that he no longer was so occupied with her pleasure. He moaned and thrust his hips, forcing his member deep into her throat. She gagged a little, tears springing to her eyes, and he hurried to apologize.

But she waved him off, quite liking the idea. Carefully she went down to take almost all of him in, and while he was, she swallowed. He shouted her name—Yes, _her_ name—and she did it again. He throbbed in her hand and his fingers, which had been threaded into her hair, pulled her head back, forcing him from her mouth. He erupted then, the pearly white cum shooting from the sensitive tip of his member onto Rey’s face and breasts and tongue. She tasted him—a musky sweetness. It tasted good to her. He continued to spurt for a minute before finally stopping, and she hurried to clean him up with her tongue.

“Oh gods,” he gasped. “Good girl.”

She felt a warmth spread over her body that was different from her heat. No, she was…pleased. Pleased she had made him so weak and happy before her. She caught him looking at her cum covered face and breasts, and he reached down to pull her up and over him. With his large, rough hands, he carefully rubbed his cum into her skin.

“Wear it,” he whispered, giving her lips a delicate kiss. “Wear my cum like you love it.”

Her cheeks flushed and she nodded, avoiding his eyes. Sated for now, she suddenly felt drowsy and…happy.

“Sleep now,” he murmured, pulling her into the crook of arm. “Rest.”

But she had to do something, didn’t she? Wasn’t she going to…sneak away? Go home?

She yawned and felt enveloped by warmth as he pulled a fur over their bodies. His smell was all around invading her senses and her mind, making her think _warmalphasafealphawilltakecareofyou._ She quickly fell asleep to the sound of him breathing and the feel of his hand at the base of her back, rubbing gently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tumultuous chapter! I love the angst. And the response to this fic. Thank you so much! Please check me out on Tumblr at Alicecantescape, and please please please comment what you think. Thanks again!

When she wakes up, Kylo is gone. She immediately panics—where is her alpha? But then she remembers everything and she curses herself for falling asleep in his arms like an _idiot._ But now may be the perfect time to leave. He must be getting water, or getting food, or—

“—Hux, if Phasma has a problem with it, she can come to me.”

Oh. He’s just outside. Speaking to someone?

“I’m just saying, you carried her through the entire village. You weren’t very subtle. Leader Snoke isn’t happy.”

Kylo’s voice is as hard as granite. “Let him be upset. I’m just helping her out. She is eager to return to her home anyways.”

The other man’s voice is smug. “Can’t stand you, huh? Even a waif won’t stay with you.”

Rey doesn’t like being spoken for, and she doesn’t like this man’s tone. She scrambled to find her tunic, but before she can Kylo storms in, clad in a black tunic and leather pants. He looked angry, and she stareed at him curiously, unafraid but interested.

“What?” Kylo snapped as he noticed her staring at him. She stands, unashamed of her nakedness.

“Who was that man?” She asked, coming closer to Kylo. He stops his pacing and looks at her as if transfixed.

“Hux,” Kylo replied. “My only competition for chieftain. And Phasma’s lover.”

Rey laid her palm on his chest and looked up at him. “I heard what he said,” she said quietly. “Why do you let him bother you so?”

Kylo didn’t answer her, looking straight into her eyes instead. He licked his lips and turned more towards her.

“Hm?” She says, raising an eyebrow.

Kylo kissed her instead, a deep, passionate kiss that immediately reminded her of her heat. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, slipping her tongue into his mouth eagerly. She is aching and weak-kneed, but luckily he catches her by pressing her against him and walking her towards the bed.

Their kiss is broken by Kylo, who leaned back and looked down her body. Rey immediately is self conscious, and she drew herself into the mattress to try and hide her body.

“You’re beautiful,” he suddenly said, shocking her.

Beautiful, with her cum dried on her legs and his on the rest of her? With dirt collected on her knees and grass still in her hair from yesterday’s romp? Skinny, muscular, tall her? She is not soft and fertile looking, she knows this. But still he calls her beautiful. And strangely, she believed him.

“Talk to me,” Kylo said as his fingers begin to touch her. They circle around her bud, they dip inside her dripping opening. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

Rey isn’t sure she wants to talk. She knows she will moan, and she doesn’t want the entire village to hear them. But his voice and his fingers are so encouraging, and she wants so much to….well, please him.

“I feel good,” she said as quietly as she could. “But so hot…and I ache, oh gods, I ache.”

“I know,” he said soothingly. He added another finger and rubbed his thumb directly on her clit, and she finally felt like the aching wasn’t so bad.

“Oh, _Kylo,_ ” she moaned as he thrusted his fingers in and out, and this seems to inspire him to speak.

“Oh, sweetheart, yes you’re so tight. So tight around my fingers, and so wet.”

Rey can’t answer him because she is coming hard, so hard that she can’t breathe. She opened her eyes to see him licking his fingers, his face flushed and gleaming with sweat.

He leaned forward to kiss her, and she can taste herself on his tongue. She is tired again, somewhat sated, but there is still an itch and an ache inside of her.

Kylo tilted his head as he looks down at her. “You need a wash,” he said. “And so do I.”

Rey nodded. “Please,” she said. “I’m so hot.”

Kylo pressed a kiss to her forehead and drew back before going to dig into a pile of clothing. He returned to her with one of his tunics, which is much nicer—and bigger—than hers.

“Here. You can wear this,” he said. “We’ll go to a private place in the river nearby. It’s a bit of a walk, but I always bathe there.”

Rey nodded. She’d rather bathe alone than in public because that’s what she’s used to. She pulls on his large tunic and finds a sash to belt it with so it doesn’t just hang on her. They leave the comfort of his hut and luckily Kylo’s hut is far enough from the other huts that they slip away unnoticed.

They don’t speak at first, so there is nothing but quiet as they walk through the forest. But soon enough, Kylo is asking her questions and she is inclined to answer him.

“Where did you grow up?”

“Where I live now, in my cave. I think I lived in a hut before with my parents, but I don’t really remember.”

“What is your favorite food?”

“Rabbit. If you cook it right, it’s very tender. What’s yours?”

He thinks for a moment. “Deer. Venison can be tasty in stew.”

Rey nods. “I hate to kill deer. They are so big and do taste good, but they are such peaceful creatures.”

Kylo scoffs. “What kind of huntress are you if you feel bad for the animals you kill?”

She frowns at him. “What kind of hunter are you if you do not consider the sacrifice of the animal you kill?”

“Hm.” He replied, but a small smile played at his lips. “You remind me of my mother—always talking about the sacrifice of nature for us to survive, but neverless one of the best huntresses I’ve ever known.”

Rey is immediately interested. Kylo has a family, of course he does. “And your father?”

Kylo frowned. “An arrogant man. Always off trading.”

Rey wanted to ask more, but they come to a small clearing that holds a small, shallow river. The water looks absolutely chilly, which is perfect after walking under the hot sun.

“Here we are,” Kylo says, glancing at her for a moment before stripping off his clothes. Rey follows suit, but slips into the water in a hurry. Without the fogginess of her heat bothering her, she doesn’t feel so confident about her naked body.

The bottom of the river is clay and smooth pebbles. The water is heavenly. It’s cool and shaded from several weeping willow trees, creating an illusion of privacy even though there are no other people around.

Rey ducked underneath the water and scrubbed at herself. She can feel the sweat and grime coming off her pink skin, and she is relieved. Even though the water is not very deep here, it is much better than the small stream Rey lives by.

She glanced over at Kylo to find that he was looking at her, staring openly. She paused, a hand on her slick brown hair.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Kylo said. “You just look happy.”

Rey shrugs. “I like the water,” she said, letting her hair drape over her bare breasts.

Kylo swam closer, his dark hair slicked back. He was horribly handsome, even if his ears did stick out. Rey let herself drift backwards, but somehow he still caught up with her.

“How’s your heat?” He asked.

“Alright,” she replied. Truthfully, she still felt warm and the motion of the water against her privates and nipples were making her crazy even though she just came.

Kylo sighed. “Even with the water, you still smell so…” He drifted even closer and put his hands on her hips. His mouth came to her neck, and he licked at the thin skin covering her scent glands. She sighed and tilted her head, giving him access. Every touch just felt so good.

He kissed her scent gland and nuzzled at it, and her arms came to grasp at his thick biceps.

“Kylo,” She said, wanting more. But no, she couldn’t. They couldn’t. He wouldn’t knot her, and she could tell that her refractory periods were getting shorter as she was getting into the middle of her heat.

“Stop,” she breathed, and he immediately pulled away, albeit with a frown.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes searched hers anxiously and his hands still gripped her waist.

“You’ll get me worked up,” she mumbled, looking away. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Rey—”

Suddenly a throat cleared near the edge of the clearing. Rey sunk into the water to cover her nakedness and Ben’s hands went away from her.

At the edge of the clearing stood an incredibly tall, pale woman. Her hair was blond and quite short, and she wore a purple tunic and men’s leggings. She leaned against a tree casually, as if she had just been there forever. Rey hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Hello Kylo,” the woman said.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed and Rey sunk further into the luxurious water until her loose brown hair floated in the water.

“Phasma,” Kylo said casually, crossing his arms. The tips of Rey’s ears burned. _This_ incredibly strong, statuesque woman was Kylo’s intended? How did Rey measure up to her? How could Kylo possibly be interested…

“You must be the infamous omega,” Phasma said to Rey, and Rey lifted her chin from the water with false pride.

“I’m Rey,” She said simply, not sure what else to say. But Phasma merely nodded.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo said flatly. He did not seem amused.

Phasma gave a slinky sort of smile. “I thought I’d check in on my mate-to-be. See what everyone was talking about.”

Kylo’s jaw tightened, and so did Rey’s chest.

“What I do with my time is no business of yours,” he said. “I don’t pry into your _affairs._ ”

Phasma smirked. “Indeed. But I just thought I’d remind you of our agreement. Leader Snoke would be displeased if you strayed.”

“I know enough of our agreement,” Kylo snapped, moving in front of Rey so that his back shielded her from Phasma’s view. “And I have no broken it. The girl is a virgin still.”

“Kylo!” Rey hissed. She didn’t need Phasma to know that this was her first heat, nor her first time near an Alpha. That was her business.

Phasma sighed. “I suspected as much. Such restraint…It fascinates me.”

Kylo audibly growled. “Leave. You have your answer. I have not broken our agreement.”

“Fine. I will see you around.” Phasma locked eyes with Rey, gave a little wave, and slipped off into the forest.

As soon as she was gone, Kylo smashed his fists into the water. Rey moved away, startled.

“She knew I had not broken the agreement,” Kylo seethed. “She merely wanted to make her possession known.”

“Well, she did,” Rey replied, almost snapping her words. She stood up out of the water and covered her chest with her crossed arms.

Rey felt Kylo’s eyes on her. “Ignore her,” he said. “She is nothing.”

Rey felt her heart rate increase, and even the water could not cool her heated skin.

“She is your intended!” Rey exclaimed. She was everything Rey could not be. Why didn’t he see that?

She got out of the water, pulling Kylo’s tunic over her body without care for her wet body. Despite her anger, she could tell that there was a slickness between her thighs that would not dry.

“Rey,” Kylo said, following her out. “Wait.”

But Rey did not want to wait. She was flustered and needy, angry and embarrassed. Her hormones were driving her crazy. She padded across the grass fast, trying to escape him. She wanted to just go home to her cave, where there was no one and nothing to confuse her.

“Rey!” Kylo snapped. “ _Stop!”_ Her response to his order was instantaneous. She stopped hard in her tracks, frozen by his alpha command. Her body, willed into submission, may have been stopped, but her heart and mind had not. She immediately became furious.

His hand wrapped around her arm and turned her towards his naked body. He shone in the sun gloriously. But although her body responded to him and his musky scent, she was not interested.

“How dare you,” She hissed. “An alpha command? Is that all you want? To bend me to your will?”

“No,” Kylo replied, his expression mixed. “I only want…” He sighed.

Rey shook her head. “Release me.”

“Answer me this,” Kylo said softly. “Why are you so angry? Is it because of the command, or because of Phasma?”

“Maybe it’s both,” Rey snapped. “Maybe I just want to get away.”

Kylo touched her cheek, running his fingers down to her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

“Promise me you’ll return to the hut. I promised to take care of you throughout your heat. Don’t make me go against my word.”

“Fine!” Rey said, tears rushing to her eyes. The ache inside her, both physical and emotional, was becoming painful. Stupid alphas and their sense of obligation.

“Then I release you,” he said softly.

Immediately, her body relaxed and she almost fell. He reached out to catch her, but she shoved him away. Their eyes met and she saw the hurt in them. But still, she walked away.

When she got to the hut, she threw herself onto the straw tick and covered herself with a fur. He came in quietly behind her, and she was frustrated by his silence, by his scent that surrounded her. By the lack of him inside her. He left soon after to fetch wood, leaving her alone.

 Angrily, beneath the fur, she shoved her tunic up past her center and shoved her fingers inside herself. She pictured him above her, biting into her scent gland, whispering things into her ear.

“ _Good omega. My omega. Tell your alpha how you feel.”_

Rey gasped as she circled her clit again and again. Just like he had.

_“My beautiful mate. Come for me.”_

She cried out as her orgasm washed over her. As her panting turned to sobs, she let herself cry underneath the sweltering fur until she heard his footsteps come close and then into the hut. Whether he smelled what she had done, or sensed her sadness, he slipped into bed and put his arms around her. She didn’t let herself cry in his arms, instead letting her tears dry on her face as she stared at the creamy juncture of his neck. He said nothing, did nothing but held her. Exhausted by her tumultuous emotions and the after effects of her orgasm, she drifted into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the support! Your comments fueled me to write this chapter fast. I wanted to answer a few questions as well.  
> 1\. Is Phasma a virgin?  
> No. She lost her virginity to Hux during her first heat, before she and Kylo were engaged.  
> 2\. How much are she and Hux doing?  
> They are supposedly doing everything but the actual mating. Or at least, that's what she's told Kylo, who'd rather not know.
> 
> Thanks so much, keep them coming! Also, if you want to say hi, just contact me at alicecantescape on tumblr, where there is an awesome moodboard for this fic! Thanks!

Rey awoke in Kylo’s arms with a jolt. She had been having a strange dream…perhaps it was due to her heat. But she awoke not in a panic, just suddenly awake. She felt safe and warm waking up in his arms. She could tell he was awake because his fingers circled and swayed over the base of her spine. The small of her back tingled, and she realized her paltry orgasm before her nap was probably not enough to cut her heat.

If Kylo knew that he was awake, he didn’t say anything. But his lips brushed the top of her head, and she was, for the moment, calmed.

She felt a lot better than she had before she slept. But beneath the increasing haze of her heat, her stomach was aching.

She tilted her head up to meet Kylo’s calm gaze.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked. A strange look flickered across his face.

“Nothing,” he answered. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Rey lied. Her stomach took that opportunity to growl, loudly.

“Liar,” Kylo chuckled, his hand moving to brush his thumb against her stomach.

“I am a bit hungry,” she said.

“Of course you are. You must be starving,” Kylo said, his brow furrowing as he pulled away from her. Rey bit back an animalistic whimper. Her body wanted him close.

Kylo pulled a shirt over his head and then poked at the fire. “I’ll go hunting then. If you get too hungry here, there’s dried greens in that jug over there.”

Rey frowned and sat up, her tunic falling back down her stomach. “I’ll come with you. I can get my own dinner.”

Kylo bristled. “In your state? No.”

Rey’s frown grew stubborn. “I’m fine, Kylo.” Stupid alpha, worrying over her like…like…like he cared.

“Rey, the fire is practically ashes, yet your cheeks are flushed. And I can smell you and your…”

Rey’s cheeks did burn then, but not from her heat. “Don’t act like I haven’t triggered your rut. I could feel you against my leg on the bed.”

Kylo said nothing, only lifted his chin to look down at her. Almost like he silently forbid her from going.

“Well, how about instead of just standing there looking at me, you do something about this so I can go?” Rey snapped.

Kylo’s eyes were insanely dark, his expression unreadable. The two stared at each other, a challenge thick in the air. Rey leaned back and parted her legs. She herself could smell her own slick permeating the heady scent of his hut, of him. And she saw the moment her smell hit him because his pupils dilated, his eyes wide and nostrils flared.

And then she was knocked on her back onto the bed. She gasped in shock—he was over her, hovering above her and she didn’t know he could move so _fast._ And then his lips were crushing hers, his tongue slipping into her surprised mouth with ease. And she was wet, so wet and aching because he was so powerful and in control and simply…simply…perfect. She fought back, gripping his hair and nipping at his lips. He growled and it sent shivers down her spine. Her tunic was pushed up, his hand kneading one of her breasts beneath his thick palm.

Finally he allowed her to breathe, moving his lips down over her tender scent gland. He scraped his teeth over it and she howled, unashamed of the noise she was making. He reached down and plunged two fingers into her center which made her writhe.

“That’s it darling, I love to hear you scream,” Kylo hissed against her hot skin. She moaned his name in response, and she caught the prideful look in his eyes.

He crooked his fingers and she came immediately as he hit a delicious spot inside of her. A gush of wetness came from her in a rush, soaking the fur beneath them as well as his entire hand.

Kylo drew back, licking her cum off his hand with a certain look in his eyes, but Rey wasn’t done. She needed more. She wanted more. So she grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pushed him down onto the bed, hurrying to push down his dark trousers so that his thick cock sprang up out of them.

Immediately she engulfed him with her mouth. His fingers threaded through her hair and she was pushed down further onto his cock.

“Oh shit,” Kylo said as she hummed her approval around him. “That’s it, sweetheart, oh gods yes.”

Rey loved the taste of him. It was like tasting his scent, pure and simple. It made her head swim.

_Yespleaseyouralphashowhimhowgoodyouare_

She sucked and sucked until she suddenly she had a better idea. With a pop, she released him from her mouth and crawled up his body. Then she ground her hips down, his stiff member brshing against her clit in the most delicious way.

His hands went to her hips and guided them as she moved against him. It felt so good, to kiss him and to be so close to him as they rutted against each other. But she ached inside, badly. His fingers had not satisfied her. Her insides were cramping, desiring the calming cum of him inside her.

“Please, please, please, please, please,” she chanted as the head of his cock caught at her opening. She needed his knot, needed him filling her, claiming her.

“Shh,” he hushed, “Be my good girl. We can’t. We can’t.”

Tears popped into her eyes, but still her hips moved. He panted and brought her head down for a searing kiss. Her orgasm soon washed over her, but her insides clenched around nothing so hard it was painful. She felt him coming in huge spurts all over both their stomachs, but she cried out and collapsed onto him.

He jerked up, sensing that there was something amiss. He held her to him and sat up as tears streamed down her face.

“What is it? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asked frantically.

“It hurts, it hurts so bad, Kylo!” She cried.

“What hurts, where does it hurt?”

“Inside,” she whimpered, head against his chest, her tears staining his tunic. “It aches so bad.”

He crushed her to his chest and rained kisses all over her face and hair. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t realize.”

She cried against him for a little bit, letting herself have another pity party. This heat was wearing her out. The mood swings, the aching, and the constant feeling of being unfulfilled. She wanted Kylo so badly, but nothing they ever did was truly satisfying.

“I should have let someone else find you, someone who could knot you so you wouldn’t hurt,” Kylo muttered, and Rey looked up at him in shock. He was feeling guilty?

“Don’t say that,” she said, wiping away her tears. “It’s just…the hormones, they are making me more emotional. No one could have treated me better.”

“Anyone else could knot you,” Kylo said bitterly. Rey examined the dark lines of his face and leaned up to kiss him softly. When it ended, his eyes looked upon her softly, their liquid darkness almost adoring.

She leaned against him and inhaled his scent deeply, letting it calm her. She could be alone in her cave, suffering this alone.

“Come on,” Rey said quietly. “A good alpha doesn’t let the omega starve to death.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Never.”

~

It was nearing dusk as they crept out, giving them not much time to hunt. Rey hadn’t realized she had slept so long. But Kylo handed her a bow, and for once, she felt grounded. This, she knew. This was familiar. The long, skinny curve of the wooden bow, the heft of the arrow in her hand. His arrowheads were fine and sharp—well made.

And he proved himself to be an excellent hunter. Within moments in the deep of the forest, he shot a rabbit for their dinner. Rey shot a squirrel and found some fresh, green watercress as well. They were heading back when Kylo shot his arm out in front of her to stop her in her tracks. She glanced up, and through the shadows she saw the faint outline of a deer in between the trees.

Ben locked eyes with her and made a few hurried hand signs. And although Rey had never, ever hunted with anyone before, she understood. He wanted her to scare the deer so that it went towards him. They split up, and Rey got nice and close to the deer before she purposefully stepped on a twig to startle it. It dashed towards Kylo, giving him a fair shot, but he missed. With a quick dash, Rey ran after the deer, loading her bow as she went. She went for it, and shot the deer right in the chest. This caused the deer to pause and rear up in pain, which allowed Kylo to go in for the kill. He shot the deer through the eye with great skill, and it dropped dead onto the forest floor.

Kylo stood over the deer and wrenched the bloody arrows from it. He grinned at Rey a bit, looking up at her with pride.

“A whole deer,” he said. “We make a good team.”

Rey found herself smiling back. She had never taken down a deer. It was nearly impossible to do so alone, even with two people it was hard. So it was quite the accomplishment, and Rey was proud.

Rey carried the rabbit and squirrel back while Kylo slung the deer around his thick shoulders to carry home. As they walked through the village, people stared again, but this time with awe, not curiosity. Kylo went straight into butchering the deer outside the hut, in the grass, while Rey skinned and prepared the rabbit and squirrel. Rey carefully made a fire outside in order for Kylo to have light. She cooked the meat carefully over the fire while Kylo finished up with the deer. He ate gratefully, munching on the meat and watercress hungrily. Rey ate heartily as well, licking her fingers when she was finished.

The cool night air helped Rey out as they worked into the night, preparing and smoking the deer meat. Rey scraped the hide as well of it’s fat so it could be dried and used.

While they worked, they talked. He told her about his own lonely upbringing in a family where both parents were alphas and fought all the time. She told him about how she loved to fix things and to work with wood. He listened to her intently, and she could tell that even as he stripped the meat from the deer’s bones. She had never had anyone’s attention like that. It was as intoxicating as his scent.

“I don’t understand something,” Rey said to him finally. “Why do you have a rival for chieftain? Hasn’t Snoke made his intentions clear?”

Kylo sighed, his dark eyes worried in the fire. “Everything lies upon the mating between Phasma and I. I was always his main choice, but Snoke has kept Hux at my tail to keep me motivated. Hux believes that if he works hard enough, he will be chosen.”

Rey tilted her head. “Then why not have Phasma mate Hux? Then perhaps he won’t want to be chieftain to impress her.”

Kylo snorted. “Hux doesn’t want it to impress her. He wants it because he does not have it. Besides, Phasma is the strongest female in the village, so if she was mated to Hux, they would probably be too strong a couple for me to keep in line all on my own, even as chieftain. Or at least, that’s what Snoke says.”

Rey shrugged. “Sounds like a silly plan to me,” she said. “I think you could handle them. And even if you were mated to Phasma, she’d probably just want to be with Hux and work against you regardless.”

Kylo nodded thoughtfully. “Perhaps,” he said quietly.

Rey looked at him, worried she had offended him by speaking badly of his future mate. So she forced a laugh. “Glad I don’t have to worry about such things,” she said. “Living alone does have its benefits, I guess.”

“Not many,” Kylo replied. His eyes looked up at her beneath his dark bangs. His eyes were shining in the firelight. “You know, you’re not alone.”

Rey’s heart stopped. He was so handsome, sitting there in the dim light, looking at her like he knew her, like he cared. And for once, she let herself believe it.

“Neither are you,” she replied, just as softly.

They stared at each other for a long moment, the heat between them intense and bewitching as the fire before them. Then finally, Rey dropped her eyes and went back to work. He did the same after a lingering look.

Finally, they were about finished.

Kylo sat up from the smoker and grabbed Rey’s hand, drawing her to him. He gave her a small, chaste kiss.

“Would you run over and grab a pot from outside Hux’s house? I’m out of them and he won’t notice one less. He usually eats whatever Phasma hunts anyways.”

Rey nodded and he kissed her again.

“Thank you for your help,” he murmured. “Usually this is a lonely task for me.”

Rey placed her palm on his cheek and looked into his face Crickets chirped all around them, and she felt her heat begin to swell once more.

“You’re welcome,” was all she said, but she wanted to tell him more, about everything that had ever happened to her. But instead she went to get the pot.

She only knew Hux’s hut because it smelled so much like him, like mint and leather—and because Kylo had pointed it out earlier. But as she was picking up the pot with both hands, she heard grunting coming from the inside. Without thinking, she shifted her pot onto her hip and peered inside the hut through the crack in the leather hide.

Inside, Phasma was riding Hux. Hard. He had a wicked grin on his face as she took him inside, the pale length of him disappearing into her with an astonishing speed. Rey gasped and the pot fell from her hands, shattering when it hit the hard dirt below. Both Phasma and Hux stopped and their heads swung to stare at the door. But that was all Rey saw, for she was on her feet and running back to Kylo’s before they could catch her.

She ran so fast that she ran straight into him. Luckily, he was as solid as a rock and caught her easily in his arms.

“Rey? Why are you—”

“It’s Hux and Phasma! I saw them mating!”

Kylo’s jaw tightened and his eyes somehow became even darker. He clutched Rey’s arms and leaned down so they were directly eye to eye.

“Are you sure, Rey? He was inside of her?”

“Yes, Kylo,” she breathed.

He released her and ran a hand through his hair. Finally, he said: “Stay here, Rey. I will deal with this.”

He took a few steps and then turned around to take her into his arms and kiss her deeply. She was left panting, her heat spiking as he pulled away.

“When I return,” he said, “I’m going to knot you. And I’m going to do it again. And again. Until you are so full of my cum that you beg me to stop. I will fill that ache in you and take it all away.”

She was breathless then, so struck by his words that she did not say a thing in return. He walked away then, his touch still burning into her skin. She swallowed hard and clenched her legs together to stop the wetness from trickling further down her thighs. Then she went into the hut to wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, Im just the worst. Angst and feels all around. But don't worry--I love a happy ending. And thank you all for the extreme support this little fic has garnered! I am shocked and in awe. It really fuels my fire to see how much you guys like the fic! I'd love to follow anyone on tumblr as well, so contact me at alicecantescape there so we can be friends and also to see a moodboard I made for this fic! Thank you all so so much.

She could not sleep, and after a few minutes, she gathered up the deer meat and brought everything into Kylo’s hut. She made their inside fire and let the one outside die out. When there was finally nothing else to do, she simply sat on the straw tick bed and thought about Kylo’s words.

He was going to knot her. He was going to knot her! If he did, surely that meant his engagement to Phasma was broken. She pictured taking him back to her cave, showing him everything that made up her little home. Perhaps he’d stay with her there. He’d have to bring his cushy furs and straw mattress, for her little hammock wouldn’t fit both of them. Her lips still burned with his kiss, and she closed her eyes and imagined him finally filling her. She knew it would feel good, but it would also cement something that she felt in the air between them.

She heard a rustle outside and she stood. Kylo came in, and she saw that his eyes were a dull black. Her hands twitched forward, then stilled.

“Come,” Kylo said. “Snoke wants us all to be before him.”

Rey swallowed and he grabbed a thin fur. It almost felt like he was avoiding her eyes.

“Kylo,” she said. “What happened?”

Kylo said nothing in return, only draping the fur around her shoulders as a shawl to keep her warm from the cool night air. But she sensed he was doing something else, as if he was shielding her from something.

“Come,” was all he said.

So she followed him out, clutching her little shawl with one hand and his hand with the other. They walked for a few minutes, but it seemed to last forever. The dark made everything indistinguishable, the huts all brown and similar. Rey stuck close to Kylo’s silent frame and realized she had never feared the dark like this before. When they had worked together just a few hours ago, the dark was quiet yet kind. But now everything was shrouded in the blackness, which was mysterious and threatening.

Snoke’s hut was barely a hut. It had more than one room and had two fires burning within, the smoke creating twin spirals up into the night sky. Kylo took her hand, pausing for a moment to rub his thumb across her fingers. His eyes met hers, and it wasn’t until he looked away that she recognized the emotion within them. He was scared.

He dropped her hand and moved the leather drapery away for her so she could step inside the hut. It was dark, and already Hux and Phasma stood before the man seated in the only chair in the room—the only chair Rey had ever seen. She had sat on tree stumps and rocks before, but this was a wooden chair, carved and delicately made. Draped with furs, it was extravagance itself.

But she barely noticed the odd chair before she noticed the man sitting upon it. He was scarred, horribly scarred. His entire head was hairless, the skin stretched tight and yet loose over his skull. He was dressed in a yellow cloth—not leather, not fur, but cloth. Rey swallowed hard, a strange feeling in her gut as she studied this man.

Kylo immediately knelt to show his respect before Snoke allowed him to rise. The man’s eyes glittered from the fire as he turned to look at Rey.

“See how she gazes at me with such wonder,” he remarked. “Like a child. You have found a curious one, Kylo Ren.”

Rey dropped her gaze, ashamed. She hadn’t meant to show such disrespect. But something about this man didn’t feel right. He did not inspire good feelings within her. He smelled of a diseased animal.

She glanced at Kylo—didn’t he sense it? Didn’t he smell it? But he was gazing at Snoke with reverence, which made Rey afraid. He had spoken of him with reverence too.

“She is an orphan, abandoned by her family and village,” Kylo said. “But strong and skilled.”

Rey tossed him an angry look. “Kylo!” She hissed, feeling betrayed. But he did not look at her.

“She and I took down a der earlier,” Kylo said quietly, his voice dropping lower. “She would make a good mate.”

Rey’s cheeks burned, but she did not have much time to process what was said before Snoke spoke again.

“Ah, but you are practically mated to Phasma,” Snoke reminded him. “A strong woman of her own right.”

Kylo’s eyes flashed in the fire light. “She has broken the agreement,” he hissed. “She has mated with another. I want no mate that is so deceitful.”

Snoke leaned back in his chair, lacing his gnarled fingers together. “Indeed. And for that she will be punished. Both of them will.”

Hux seemed to come to life at that moment. He bared his teeth at Kylo and snarled, “We should not be punished. We are naturally drawn to each other. I should be chieftain, not him. It is I Phasma has chosen.”

Snoke gestured for Hux to come closer, and when he did, he backhanded him. Hard. Hux whimpered and drew back, his pale cheek mottled with red.

“Am I not chieftan still?” Snoke asked, enraged. “Am I not the one who chooses? I chose the two strongest in the village to mate, and mate they will. End of discussion.”

“But master, please consider Rey,” Kylo suddenly said. “I believe she is stronger than Phasma. Am I not wrong for wanting the strongest mate?”

Snoke’s eyes narrowed. “Kylo Ren. Have I not trained you since you were a child? Don’t you think I know best? You ask me to test this orphan for her strength simply because her heat smells good to you?”

Snoke sighed and Kylo’s head bowed. “I know the pull of an omega in heat,” he said gently. “And I see you have compassion for her plight. But you are stronger than this. She is not the one for you.”

Rey snarled at Snoke’s words, unable to keep quiet any longer. “How would you know?” She said. “You do not know his heart!”

She caught Kylo’s eyes and saw the confusion in them. He was torn.

“Test me,” Rey said bravely. “Test me and I will show you my strength.”

Snoke’s laughter filled the large hut, a cackle that made her shiver.

“Such _fire,_ ” Snoke said. “I see why you enjoy her, Kylo Ren. And I think I will test her.”

He fixed his eyes to Rey’s and narrowed them. She stared back defiantly.

“Fight Phasma. If you win, you can have Kylo Ren. If you lose, you will be banished from this village.”

Kylo drew in a sharp breath. “Master, she is weak from her heat. Surely—”

Snoke banged his hand against the wood of his chair. “Quiet! She will fight now, or never.”

Rey stepped up, placing a hand on Kylo’s large, quivering bicep. She knew it was his instinct to protect her. “I will fight now,” she said calmly. “I accept.”

“I accept as well,” Phasma said clearly. “I will not lose my place in this village to such a little thing.”

Rey bristled at this, and Snoke clapped his hands together. “Perfect. You both have ten minutes to prepare. We shall meet outside for the match.”

Both couples stepped outside the hut. Rey took a deep breath and immediately felt calmer now that Snoke’s smell was faint. But that was where her peace ended.

“How dare you accept this fight in your weakened state,” Kylo hissed. “Phasma is strong and powerful, and twice your size. I cannot protect you like this!”

“Calm down,” Rey said, frowning. “I have protected myself for a long time. And I am fast. I think it will be ok.”

Kylo grabbed her with both of his large hands. “This is too dangerous, Rey. I cannot let you do this. There is not even time for me to take care of your heat.”

“Well it’s not like you could anyways,” Rey snapped. “You’re still engaged to her. Or is that where you want to be?”

Kylo started to speak, but then shook his head. His eyes were dark and threatening. “Rey, if anything happens to you, I…”

She waited, but he did not continue.

“It’s happening, Kylo.” She said quietly. “Accept it.”

Across the clearing, Phasma silently gazed at Rey. Her eyes were cold. Beside her, Hux glowered.

Kylo was angry, and frightened. He offered Rey no words or gesture, but he stood by her and silently challenged Phasma to get closer.

Snoke slowly walked out of his hut and settled back into his chair, which Hux had brought outside. With a small smile, he raised his hands, and both women stepped forward.

“A clean fight,” Snoke said in a way that made Rey think he did not want a clean fight. “No weapons. Only brute force. And no interference.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw Kylo stiffen. Hux also looked uncomfortable. She knew it was alpha to want to protect your mate—but she wasn’t Kylo’s mate. Perhaps he still felt the same about her as he would about a mate, but Rey did nothing but raise her chin. She would show him she could take care of herself. She would show them all.

Snoke lowered his hands. “Begin.”

Phasma charged towards Rey, her long, lean body coming full force. But Rey dodged Phasma, and then dodged her again. She was faster than Phasma, but she couldn’t land any hits on her because she was on the defense so much.

She couldn’t spare a glance at Kylo, but she could practically feel his torment. But Rey couldn’t focus on that now—she had to find out a way to beat Phasma. She had too.

She spied a weakness, finally. Phasma always landed on her left foot. She must have broken the right long ago and now favored the left. Using that opening, Rey stomped using both her feet on Phasma’s right foot, then grabbed her right arm and used the force Phasma was wielding to double herself over, forcing her to roll onto the ground. Phasma, however, did not roll onto her back like Rey expected. She propelled herself sideways and leapt up again before Rey could even try to pin her.

Phasma was good. Very good.

“Try that again, scum,” Phasma spit, and Rey knew it would not work once more. She’d have to find a new opening.

Rey swung out of the way again and again, but unfortunately one of Phasma’s punches grazed her cheek and forced her backwards. She stumbled, but steadied herself. She tasted blood on her lips, and a snarl erupted from her chest before she could stop herself.

A cackle came from Snoke. “Yes, yes,” he said. Rey tried to ignore him. Over Phasma’s shoulder, Rey saw that Kylo was trembling with rage.

Rey went back to dodging, planning her next way of attack. But Phasma didn’t seem to have any other weaknesses. She was tall, which meant that if she fell, she’d fall hard. However, Rey couldn’t seem to find any openings.

She tried to throw a punch, but Phasma dodged it and returned the punch easily—hitting Rey right in the shoulder. Rey tried to turn her fall into an opportunity, sticking out her legs to try and trip Phasma, but she just leapt over them like a graceful deer. It was infuriating.

Rey wished she had her staff, or any weapon. There was a pile of firewood near her, but Snoke had said no weapons in the fight. Still, Rey had to use her resources. She had to think!

Rey ran around the circle of clearing, and she watched as Phasma’s eyes strayed when Rey passed Hux, lingering on him too long. Of course! Hux was Phasma’s weakness. It was obvious, right in front of her face the entire time.

Rey grabbed a hunk of firewood and chucked it at Hux. Phasma raced over and caught it, turning to Rey with rage and disbelief in her eyes. But Rey was faster than that. In the time that Phasma took to race over and grab the thrown firewood, Rey had slid into place, throwing a punch directly into Phasma’s lean stomach.

Phasma dropped the firewood, stumbled backwards, then landed on her backside. Rey leapt on top of Phasma, pinning her and clutching her throat as if she was going for the kill. But she waited, not really squeezing.

Snoke laughed, low and dangerous. Both women’s eyes flicked over to him.

“Very good, omega,” Snoke said, and Rey’s shoulders drooped in relief. It was over. She had won.

“Now,” Snoke said. “Kill her.”

Phasma’s eyes widened and so did Rey’s. Phasma began to struggle and instinctively, Rey’s hands tightened.

“No,” she breathed, looking from a stricken Kylo to Snoke. “I won’t.”

Snoke’s smile slipped away and his eyes narrowed. “Do it,” he urged. “Or else you forfeit.”

“Master,” Kylo interjected, but Snoke interrupted him.

“A strong omega would be able to vanquish her enemies,” Snoke said with a deadly finality.

But Rey shook her head, looking down to the terrified woman beneath her.

“She’s not my enemy,” Rey said. “She’s just a person.”

Rey withdrew her hands quickly and leapt off of Phasma, who quickly got to her feet.

“Should I kill her master?” Phasma asked, breathlessly. Snoke smiled.

“No!” Kylo snarled and shoved Rey behind him. “You lost!”

Snoke yawned. “Ah, but she did not finish the task. So she forfeits.”

“Fine,” Rey says. “I forfeit. I’ll leave the village.”

Snoke looked from Kylo to Rey and sighed.

“Please, master. She will be banished from the village. She will not return.”

Rey was shocked to how this had suddenly turned into a bargain for her life. Phasma looked ready to fight again, and Hux look ill yet unimpressionable. 

“You will mate with Phasma then?” Snoke asked Kylo carefully, and both Phasma and Hux suddenly looked at each other.

Kylo looked at Rey with helpless eyes for just a moment before turning back to Snoke.

“I will.”

“Fine. Kylo, see that she is gone by daylight,” Snoke replied. “Or else I will set the dogs on her.”

His smile is the last thing Rey sees before Kylo shields her from his view, ushering her forward.

She numbly made her way back to the hut with Kylo close behind her. As soon as the leather closed behind them, Kylo’s lips were on hers, pushing her back towards the fur covered mattress.

“Kylo…” Rey said as his lips traveled down to her scent gland, licking over it. “Kylo, stop.”

Kylo groaned. “Please Rey,” he said, still kissing over her neck. “I want you just once.”

Rey pushed him away from her even though her thighs were already wet and her gland was swollen. He felt good, smelled good, but every bit of her was saying no.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his dark eyes confused and worried. “I thought you wanted—”

“I do,” Rey said. “I want you so badly.”

“I know, I can smell you…but why say no then?”

Rey pressed her lips together. “I don’t want it like this,” she whispered. “I want you to come with me. Come away from here and…be with me.”

Kylo’s dark brown eyes were so soft, and he brushed his fingers against her cheek. Her heart beat a little faster, and for a moment, she hoped.

“Rey…I can’t.”

She shattered and sunk into the mattress, her arms slipping from around his neck.

“I have to be chieftain,” Kylo continued. “I have lived in this village since I was 14. I can’t…I can’t…”

“Stop,” Rey said quietly. “I understand.” Maybe if she had a village, if she had people who she knew and cared about, she wouldn’t want to leave it either. But what she did understand was that she wasn’t enough.

“Rey…”

Rey shook her head. “Please, Kylo…don’t.”

He crushed her to his chest, and she closed her eyes, enveloped by his scent. She would never smell him again, never feel that instinctive calm that she felt whenever he was around. Her throat swelled, but she promised herself she would not cry.

Kylo wrapped another fur around her shoulders and gave her a bag filled with the deer they had taken down together. She tried to refuse, but he insisted. Then he led her to the edge of the village just as the sun was coming up.

“Will you be able to find your way home?” He asked.

She nodded. “I will just follow the stream home,” she replied quietly. For a moment, the two were silent.

He tipped her chin up but did not kiss her, instead he looked at her face as if to memorize it. He traced the lines of her face and then leaned in, his lips brushing hers chastely, but tenderly.

She returned the kiss briefly, then turned away as tears threatened to swell over her lashes.

“Good bye, Kylo,” she murmured.

“Good bye, Rey,” he replied just as softly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so wow. I was so overwhelmed by your responses that I wrote this out really fast for you all! You all seemed so dismayed but all so sweet. Do you guys think I should continue this? I have ideas, but I could also leave it here with maybe an epilogue? So let me know what you guys think. I hope you guys are satisfied with ~the knotting~ and let me tell you, there's more where that came if you guys want. So thank you all so much, I loved writing this chapter!

Rey didn’t remember crying, but as she reached her familiar path she felt wetness drying on her cheeks. The day was warm and beautiful, and her heat was finally subsiding. But she felt no relief or joy. All she felt was hollowness, deep inside her.

She was numb as she finally reached her cave about midday. It hadn’t been ransacked, luckily, but it seemed small and dark compared to Kylo’s warm hut. Rey quickly made a fire from her little stash of wood and unpacked the deer meat Kylo had given her. It looked delicious. She hadn’t had anything but small prey in months. She grabbed a clay bowl of water and some deer meat and sat down against the edge of her cave opening and looked at her surroundings.

Near the back was her hammock—built for only one. She had a mismatched, scraggly blanket made from a bunch of small pelts she had shot herself. A small doll made out of scraps of cloth she’d made for herself long ago was propped up against a rock. She had some clay bowls and pots in one corner on some rocks as well, because the cave floor sometimes got wet so everything she had had to be up higher. And on the largest cave wall, thousands of lines adorned the wall—one for each sundown that she had been alone. Rey chewed her deermeat thoughtfully, then with a sigh added the days she had missed onto the wall with a granite rock. She leaned back, satisfied but also somehow disheartened. There were more marks up there than she remembered.

She went outside and checked her traps. She had a squirrel and some small fish on her lines. She reset and rebaited them and took her spoils home. After she cleaned them, she laid down in her hammock and curled up under her blanket. The fur Kylo had given her was folded and put away. She didn’t want to smell him on it. It was still light outside, but Rey felt tired. She fell asleep quickly in the fading light.

The next two days were more of the same. Her heat still waned, and Rey took frequent dips in the creek to cool herself off. But she refrained from sticking her hand between her legs, as Kylo had done to her. She somehow knew it wouldn’t feel the same, and didn’t want to think about the last time she had felt such ecstasies. She didn’t want to think about Kylo ever again. It hurt too much.

Rey slept a lot. She found herself doing so to escape the memories and to pass the time. Hunting didn’t appeal to her like it used to; and she could survive on the deer meat and the meat on her traps for now. So life faded into a colorless sort of mist where her dreams were the most vivid part of her life. Some were good, but some made her cry when she woke up. Not because they had been frightening or sad, but because they weren’t real.

It began to rain about a week after Rey had returned. It poured all day, and Rey miserably tried to keep her fire going in the damp cave with her blanket slung round her shoulders. The spring rain was to be expected, but it didn’t mean Rey had to like it. Her hair curled and frizzed in the wet air, but she didn’t have enough energy to pull it back into her three buns. She halfheartedly tried to mend her worn tunic with some thread she had traded for a month ago, but found herself unable to truly focus. So she ended up staring at the rain, listening to the endless drip, drip, drip of it.

Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared in the doorway of Rey’s cave. She gasped and scrambled backward towards the other end of the cave, reaching blindly for her staff. The shadow stopped, tilted it’s head, and then entered.

Kylo stood before her, soaked to the bone, his hair dripping black water all over the rock floor. His eyes were intense and his gaze unwavering.

“Rey,” he sighed.

“Kylo,” she said breathlessly.

The two stared at each other. Finally, Rey stammered out; “What are you doing here?”

Kylo ran a hand through his wet dark hair. Rey noticed that his ears stood out.

“I’ve been looking for you for days. When I finally caught your scent, it began to rain—so I’ve just been looking and looking, trying to find your cave.”

Her throat swelled. “You’ve been searching for me?” Surely that meant…that meant…

He nodded.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “I can’t live without you.”

Rey stared at him, his words echoing in her ears. Then she put her head down on her knees and bawled. Unashamedly, she cried and cried. It was like a heavy weight being lifted off of her. It was as if his words added color back into her life. She sort of felt him come close and smooth her hair away from her face, saying sweet things. But she still cried. When she was finally finished, she lifted her head and looked up at him as he kneeled before her.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he said. “I’m sorry I ever let you go.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry I walked away,” she said. “I should of fought harder for you. Then maybe…”

“No, the fault is mine,” he said firmly. His warm, dark brown eyes gazed mournfully at her. “Can I hold you, Rey?”

She climbed into his lap and snuggled her face into the crook of his neck, where his scent gland laid. Even with the water still dripping from him, his scent was strong there. Immediately, her racing heart slowed, her hands stopped shaking, and she relaxed.

“Oh Kylo,” she said quietly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

But he didn’t answer her. So she raised her head and saw him looking past her, to her wall of marks.

“What is that?” He asked slowly.

Rey frowned. “It’s a mark for every day I’ve been here since my parents left.”

Kylo stared at the thousands of marks. “Every day you’ve been alone,” he said.

“Yes.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head slowly. “I’m so sorry, Rey. I’m sorry I left you alone.”

Rey looked into his eyes with her arms around his neck. “I’m not alone now.”

Kylo’s jaw set hard. “And you never will be again,” he promised. Rey warmed at the thought, but the smallest corner of her mind was still afraid. What about Phasma, and Snoke? What if he got tired of her and changed his mind?

His long fingers traced her face. “I know it’s hard to accept,” he said. “But I’ll make you believe it.”

Rey rested her head on his chest and nodded silently. He rubbed her back and cradled her in his arms. She had never felt so safe, so loved.

“What about Phasma and Snoke and Hux?” Rey asked quietly. Kylo snorted.

“I don’t care,” he said. “If I can have you as a mate, I don’t need anything else.”

She frowned and pulled back. “Kylo, that’s a lot to give up. What about being cheiftan? And your home?”

He cradled her face in his hands. “We can build another home. Or we can live right here in this awful cave, if you so desire. Just let me be with you, starlight.”

Starlight. The pet name made Rey flush. She cast her eyes to the side, then back at him.

“I want to be your mate, Kylo,” she said with a quiet confidence. His serious face bloomed into a smile.

“I want to be your mate as well,” he murmured.

Rey placed a kiss to the corner of his lips, then drew back. He chased her lips and kissed her hungrily, like she was food and he hadn’t eaten in weeks. She felt him grow hard beneath her bottom, and squirmed a little until he moaned.

“Starlight don’t do that, or I will take you right here.”

She flashed a mischieveous smile. “Then do it. Don’t make me wait any longer.”

His face was tragic and torn. “But I wanted to take you to our bed that we had shared. So you would be comfortable.”

Rey laid down her blanket and then sat on top of it. “I’m sorry there’s no bed here,” she said. “But all I need is you. _Now._ ”

He shivered, and looked around. After he found the folded up fur he had given her, he placed it beneath her head. She smiled at him sweetly, settling against the hard floor beneath them as he slowly stripped himself of his wet clothes. They slapped against the damp rock floor as he dropped them, and soon he was bare before her.

Somehow, he was more glorious in the cave then he was in the hut. In the dim light, his pale skin was like marble, even though it was pitted with scars and marks. Rey liked the imperfection of it. His cock was hard and weeping, the flushed red tip twitching as it searched for her cunt. His knot was pink and already filling, and Rey groaned as she thought of it locking inside her, filling her up.

She tore off her clothes with haste and found Kylo’s finger’s much more able to help her than her own trembling ones. Her grey, faded tunic and leather leggings were slipped off in seconds, and soon she was bare to him as well.

It was not the first time—not by far—but she felt embarrassed because his gaze was so strong. He examined her body with his eyes and the lightest of fingertips, trailing them down her body. She shuddered and closed her eyes, trying to calm her beating heart.

“Look at me,” Kylo ordered, and her eyes flew open. Although his voice was commanding, his expression was vulnerable. Softer, he said; “Look at your alpha.”

Rey ran her fingers through his black hair and pressed her lips to his cheek. “My alpha,” she whispered. “Mine.”

She felt a swell of pride when Kylo groaned and dipped his head to suck at her rosy nipple, which was already stiff with excitement. He was hers, finally. Not Phasma’s, not anyone else’s. _Hers._

Kylo traveled down the valley of her breasts, inhaling deeply at where her breast began to swell.

“You smell so sweet,” Kylo said. “Like flowers after the rain. I want to taste you, Rey.”

Rey’s legs parted as if he had commanded it. He dove in, kissing and licking at her thatch of bronze curls. He parted her with his fingers and swirled his tongue around her bud, making her cry out and grab at his hair.

“Kylo, Kylo, Kylo!” She chanted. “I’m going to—”

He pulled away.

Her muscles cramped and then relaxed, making her thrash in frustration. She tried to force his head back down, but he was too strong, the cords of muscle in his shoulders flexing as he rose above her.

“You will come around my cock today,” Kylo said lowly. “I will satisfy you this time.”

“Kylo,” Rey panted. “I can’t wait much longer.” She was aching, her muscles swelled around nothing.

“Shh,” Kylo hushed her, kissing her until she was a little calmer. “You need to be relaxed for this, starlight.”

She felt his cock brush against her lower opening and her heart jumped. But Kylo was above her, his scent all around her, his voice murmuring in her ear. She locked eyes with him and took a few deep breaths, inhaling the clean musk of him. When she was ready, she nodded.

“Tell me if I hurt you,” Kylo told her, his brow furrowed with worry. “Tell me if I need to stop.”

But when he pushed in, he slid into her like she was made for him. There was a small resistance, a twinge of pain, and then he was inside.

Finally, finally her muscles were stretched so deliciously. It felt so good to be filled. It felt like being whole. Rey’s trembling fingers smoothed back Kylo’s hair and her eyes fluttered.

“Rey?” he asked, his voice urgent. She smiled a little and pulled him down to kiss her, their tongues slipping along beside each other, the deep kiss soothing both their ragged breathing.

Kylo began to move, and Rey was surprised at how good it felt. Her hips moved of their own accord, tipping up to try and keep him inside as long as possible. His cock rubbed every ridge of her, smoothing and stretching her so well. She gasped when he thrust in again, hard, because that felt even better. Already, Kylo’s knot tried to catch, but she was too wet and he wasn’t big enough yet.

“Oh, gods, you feel good,” Kylo breathed. “Oh, starlight. I’ve wanted you from the first moment.”

“Kylo,” Rey moaned. “Harder, please.”

“Anything,” he said, his thrusts picking up. “Just tell me you’re mine.”

He picked up her legs and put them on his shoulders without warning. He somehow slid deeper, hitting her cervix and making her shout.

“Yours!” She gasped. “I’m yours.”

“Yes,” Kylo growled. “My omega. Such a good little omega.”

She loved his praise, preened from it. She glanced down and saw the outline of his cock in the lean plane of her stomach. He looked down as well and smiled proudly. Rey placed her hand on his cheek as her heart swelled with emotion. Kylo looked so much younger when he smiled. He was so striking, this god who made love to her. She realized her feelings in that moment.

“I love you, Kylo,” Rey said. “I love you.”

Kylo’s thrusts stilled. He looked as if she had struck him.

“Kylo?” Rey said, her heart dropping. Had it been wrong to say?

He blinked, then shook his head a little. Rey brushed her thumb against his cheek and he smiled a little, his eyes finally meeting hers again.

“I love you too, Rey,” he said. “I love you so much.”

Rey brought his head down for a long kiss. “Then knot me. I want to be mated with you.”

Kylo brought his hips back, determination in his eyes. He began to pound into her, his thick knot popping in and out of Rey tantalizingly. There were no words then, only the breathy sounds of their love making echoing in the cave. Kylo brought his hand down to rub at the apex of her thighs. She knew, without words, that he was close. His knot was getting bigger, and their breathing grew heavier. He thrust harder and harder, deeper and deeper. Rey could barely keep her eyes open and focused on her alpha, it felt so good. The circles he rubbed around her bud sent her over the edge, keening and shrieking his name. She tightened around him, and he cried out as his knot locked into place, his cock pulsing out spurts of cum into her. His teeth bit down on her scent gland, and she dug her fingernails into his gland.

Rey’s arms were around him, and he took a few shuddering breaths before rolling Rey onto her side so they could both lay on their sides, facing each other.

His arms came around her, clutching her to him and kissing her brow, her cheeks, and her lips. She felt very small and vulnerable with his large body wrapped around her.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” Rey mumbled against his skin. He licked at her torn scent gland, placing a soft kiss on it afterward.

“Never,” Kylo said.

“What are we going to do?” She asked. Her mate stroked her loose hair and hummed as he thought about it.

“We can go to my mother’s village,” he said quietly.

She frowned. “But you don’t get along with your parents,” she said.

“I want you to be in a safe place,” Kylo said carefully. “And there’s safety in numbers. If we hid out somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone. Snoke wants our heads on a platter.”

“I can defend myself,” Rey said, bristling. Kylo chuckled.

“That, I know. But it’s an alpha thing. You are my mate—I must protect you.”

Rey sighed and buried her head into his chest. Everything was so complicated now. If only they could stay locked like this forever. She felt safe and loved in his arms.

“Hold me tighter,” she asked, and he complied immediately. His knot was deflating, his cum leaking out of her slowly. But he didn’t move.

“Do we need to gather some clywort for you?” Kylo asked Rey carefully, and she stiffened. Clywort was a natural protector against pregnancy, and very rare in these parts.

Rey thought about it, then shook her head. “If I get pregnant, then I will have our child. We will have a family.”

Kylo kissed her gently. “We already are a family,” he said. “But I would be overjoyed at seeing you pregnant with my child.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Every alpha’s dream.”

Kylo laughed a little. “It is. To see your mate swell with life—it is a pleasure.”

Rey shrugged. “If you say so.”

Kylo carefully withdrew from her without letting go of her body. But he gathered the cum leaking out of her body and slid it back inside of her, causing her to smile shyly.

“Someone wants a child,” she teased.

“Only yours,” he replied.

Later on, he stoked their fire and they ate some deer meat. Then he took her again by the light of the fire with her on top. He cupped her breasts as she swayed on top of him, his hand leading her hips. He felt good, and she knew that by then her heat had faded. But somehow, she didn’t need it to get that coiling heat in her belly. All she needed to do was look at her mate.

By morning, the rain had stopped. The creek swelled with the extra water, and everything was dewy and fresh. Rey was cramped from laying on the floor and thought that Kylo was probably even worse since she had used him as a pillow. But as they packed up her few things, he did not complain.

She caught him looking at the wall of marks again, and took one of her knives from her and approached the wall.

“Did you make a mark for yesterday?” He asked, and she shook her head. He then cut a small mark into his hand, causing it bleed.

“Kylo!” She said, but he held up his good hand to stop her. Then, with his blood, he drew a single last line in red on the wall.

She took his hand and washed it with a bit of water and cloth. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she scolded, but he only gave her a faint smile.

“It is for your last day alone, to signify the beginning of something new,” he said, and she sighed. He was so dramatic. But she appreciated the gesture.

“You’re awfully protective, alpha,” she teased.

“Only because I have something very precious,” he replied.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter. I wasn't super happy with it, but after all the support from last chapter, I wanted to get it out for y'all! I hope you guys enjoy this as much. I decided to continue the story after reading all your comments. Thank you so much! Kisses to each one of you. And don't forget to check me out on tumblr at alicecantescape!

Rey didn’t want to do it, but Kylo convinced her to return to Snoke’s village to gather his things. She couldn’t imagine leaving all that deer meat to waste. Kylo had left the village with nothing—he had been that desperate to find her. So, hand and hand, they began walking with Rey’s things on their backs towards Snoke’s village.

They arrived a little before nightfall, so they hid out until it became dark at the edge of the village. When night finally came, they crept into Kylo’s hut. Everything was as Rey remembered. The smell of him was overpowering, and instinctively, she rubbed her thighs together. But she couldn’t focus on that right now. They had to get in and get out.

Rey tore the mattress cover off of it, leaving a pile of golden straw in the corner of the hut. Then she spread the cover on the floor and began piling Kylo’s furs in the middle. Kylo began piling the deer meat inside a large jug and tucking a few personal items—some clothes, a wooden pendant, and many arrowheads—into Rey’s pack. Just as they were finishing, Kylo froze as a crack of a stick outside the hut alerted him. Rey froze as well, and Kylo instinctively and silently pushed her behind him.

The leather door hanging was pushed aside by a slim, pale hand, and Phasma entered the hut.

“Kylo,” she said quietly. “I see you’ve returned.”

“Not to stay,” Kylo growled. “Move aside, Phasma. I have no business with you.”

Phasma sighed. Her short blond hair fell over one of her eyes. “Snoke is very displeased with you,” she warned.

Rey stepped out from behind Kylo, laying a calming hand on his arm. “Neither of us want to fight you, Phasma. We want nothing to do with you, Hux, or Snoke.”

Phasma tilted her head, her eyes curious. “How interesting. You’d give up everything…for her?” Her eyes roved over Kylo’s neck, where the red, faint scar was healing from Rey’s nails. “Ah. You would.”

She shook her head. “You’d throw it all away…”

Kylo snarled. “It is worthless without her.”

Phasma’s eyes widened. “I see.” She was quiet for a moment. “Then go,” she said, stepping aside from the door.

Kylo and Rey did not move. Both of them did not trust Phasma not to go for the throat.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious,” she said. “I owe her a life debt for not killing me when she had the chance.”

Rey slowly gathered up the fabric containing most of Kylo’s furs and slung it on her back. Then she took Kylo’s hand and carefully, they both slid past Phasma into the night air.

“Wait,” Phasma suddenly said, her voice interrupting the darkness. “One more thing.”

Kylo tensed and Rey swung her staff into a defensive stance. Anticipating the worst.

But only Phasma’s voice rang out in the quiet black velvet of the night. “Let this be the last I see of you. For if we meet again, it will be on the battlefield.”

Even though they couldn’t really see Phasma, and didn’t expect her to see them, Kylo nodded. And then they turned away and slipped into the night.

~

The next morning, Rey awoke on a bed of soft grass, wrapped in Kylo’s arms. She felt at peace, even after last nights tango with Phasma. They would arrive at Kylo’s parents village today.

She was nervous about meeting his parents, so while he slept on beside her, she let her hand ghost over her own mating mark. It was warm to the touch and still healing. She wanted Kylo’s mouth on it.

But she supposed they had no time for that. She sighed, feeling confused. How could she want someone so much? Even without her heat? Was she even the same person anymore—the girl who needed nobody?

“What are you sighing about?” Kylo asked, his lips rustling her hair. She startled, not having been aware he was awake.

“Just wishing…we had a bit more time,” she replied. “More time of just me and you.”

He turned her towards him, and she was sad to see a frown on his striking face.

“We have all the time,” he said. “If you don’t want this, then we won’t go.”

“No, no, I do. I am just worried about…living in a village, meeting your parents. So many new things.”

“Starlight, relax. You need not to worry about such things. I am sure we will adjust to our new life just fine.”

Rey pressed her lips together and nodded. But Kylo sensed she was still perturbed and mouthed at her neck. Rey relaxed as his mouth covered her scent gland, all the itchiness and tension draining out of her.

“How about we take a little more time, then?” Kylo murmured against her skin. She shivered and nodded, this time feeling more enthusiastic.

He rolled her onto her back and gifted her with kisses all along her breasts and neck. As he began to travel down, Rey grasped onto his black hair and pulled him back up.

“This reminds me of our first meeting,” Rey whispered. “The first time you made me feel…”

“I know,” Kylo said, smiling at her. “I had never seen such beauty, not even in nature.”

Rey blushed and pushed at him. “Kylo…”

He unlaced his breeches and his cock came out, heavy and flushed. Rey reached down and stroked him with a firm hand until the tip of him began weeping with pre-cum. Kylo had to pull her hand away, so entranced was she in his beautiful groans and expressions. She was happy to relax beneath him as he lined himself up against her, the head of his cock sliding up and down her slick slit. He parted the pink folds of her with his finger, lifting it to his lips to taste her. Then he pushed into her.

It felt so good, to be stretched and filled. Rey moved her hips up, needing more. Kylo thrust slowly into her, but it wasn’t enough for Rey. So using her strength in her legs, she wrapped them around his hips and flipped them over so she was on top.

His eyes widened, shocked at finding himself under her. His hands went to her hips and began to knead at the flesh there.

“My feisty omega,” Kylo panted.

“The only one you’d let top you?” Rey asked, smiling.

“The only one I’d ever want.”

She felt happy, and free as she rode Kylo. She stripped off her bunched-up tunic, freeing herself to the summer air. Kylo tipped his head back and moaned at the sight of her bare before him.

Rey’s knees dug into the soft, clean grass as she canted her hips again and again, harder and faster each time. She whispered his name like a mantra, and his half-lidded gaze made her feel adored, not scrutinized.

Her palms rested on his chest, his on her hips. But she needed more, needed a reminder that he loved her, that this was more than just a fuck. So she grabbed his hand from her hip and interlaced their fingers.

His eyes softened and he squeezed her hand. She tipped downward to catch his lips, to taste the salt of his sweat on her tongue. They kissed deeply, tenderly. No words needed to be said. She knew in her heart he loved her, wanted her. It was as simple as that.

She came hard on his cock. Crying out into the quiet air, she clenched and fluttered around him as she felt his cum spurt into her. Kylo’s hips trembled as his cock pulsed inside her, and she laid down on him as she felt his knot swell to lock them into place.

His arms came around her, resting on her bare back. She closed her eyes, suddenly sleepy in the warm sun with the smell of her alpha all around her. He licked over her irritated scent gland, encouraging it to heal. That only made her feel more sleepy.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, Rey,” he said in his low voice. She sighed and opened her eyes, squirming a little to get closer.

“Can’t help it,” she mumbled. “I feel so relaxed.”

He laughed lowly, kissing the side of her head. “I’m not in rut now, so this shouldn’t take too long,” he said, and her lips formed a pout.

“I like having you inside me,” she said. “Feels good.”

He shifted slightly and moaned quietly as his cock let out another spurt.

“I agree wholeheartedly,” he mumbled.

When his knot finally deflated, Kylo pulled out. As he did, his milky cum leaked out onto her tan thighs.

Rey continued to lay down on Kylo’s chest, but it only lasted a moment before he was gently moving her aside and traveling down her body.

“Oh, Kylo, don’t—”

Her voice cut off as she felt him begin to lap at her sensitive cunt. His eyes met hers and he smiled naughtily.

“I’m just cleaning you up,” he said innocently.

She didn’t think she could come again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to, not without him inside her. But the gentle licks and sucks caused her to peak again—quickly. He let her ride it out on his face, her hands clutching his black hair.

When she was finally done, he leaned back and wiped off her slick on his arm, smiling proudly at her.

“Stupid alpha,” Rey grumbled as she pulled him down for a kiss. But a small smile played on her lips as he moved away to rest his forehead against hers.

“Hey. I love you, Rey.”

She smiled a big smile then.

“I know.”

~

They arrived in the village just before the sun began to set. Kylo took them around the town rather than through it, but offered no explanation why. Rey didn’t ask. She was too nervous.

He led them to a modest hut with flowers by the doorway. What surprised Rey the most was that there were holes cut out of the hut and covered by a thin, thin hide. To let in light, she supposed. It shocked her, for she had never seen such a thing—usually the only hole there was was the one at the very top of the hut, to let the smoke out.

Kylo stood out the hut and knocked on the hard wall beside the door and then stepped back, as if he was afraid of what may come from it. A woman with silver brown braids wound around her head like a crown brushed the hide aside and squinted out into the sunlight.

Her eyes widened and her lips pursed. She looked utterly shocked. Rey stole a look at Kylo’s face and saw that he too appeared still and stunned. Instinctively, she grabbed his hand.

“Ben,” the woman breathed, then her eyes went to their clasped hands. Her brown eyes—so like her son’s!—met Rey’s, and Rey sucked in a breath. But the woman’s gaze softened.

“Hello, mother,” Kylo said formally, and Rey tried to smile to make up for her mate’s stiffness. But her own smile felt forced, and her stomach flip flopped. What would this woman be like?

“Have you finally come home, Ben?” The woman asked, crossing her arms. She looked cautious. Rey frowned. There was that name again. _Ben._ That wasn’t Kylo’s name. Or was it?

Rey looked up at her mate and felt his hand tighten on hers.

“Yes, I have,” he said stiffly. “Snoke did not approve of my actions, so we had to leave.”

The woman nodded. “I knew he’d push you too far one day,” she said, and Kylo’s features flashed anger.  Rey squeezed his hand and he looked down at her, the anger melting away to concern.

The woman smiled at Rey. “And you are from Snoke’s village?”

Rey shook her head. “I’m an orphan, I used to live by myself near Jakku village.” She smiled back. “I’m Rey.”

Kylo swallowed and cleared his throat. “She’s my mate.”

Leia’s smile grew and she walked towards Rey. “Welcome to the family then, Rey.” She gave Rey a hug, forcing Rey to let go of Kylo’s hand in order to return the gesture. The woman was small and her scent was like the faint perfume of water lilies. But her hug was strong. When she pulled back, she looked at Rey like she was seeing her for the first time. “I’m Leia.”

Rey saw Kylo shift and could tell how tense he was, so she put her hand back in his.

“Thank you, Leia,” Rey said. “Is there a place we can stay? We don’t want to be a bother…”

Leia’s smile faded a bit. “Ben’s hut is still empty. We never let anyone stay in it. It’s just that one over there.”

Rey glanced over at an almost identical hut. It had no flowers, but it had the squares cut from it, and a dried out old hide covering the doorway. It was smaller than Leia’s, but it was plenty big enough for the two of them.

Kylo didn’t say anything, so Rey forced another smile past the awkwardness. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad we made it here before nightfall.”

“Indeed,” Leia replied. Her voice grew softer. “Is there anything you need?”

Rey opened her mouth to respond, but Kylo cut in sharply.

“No, we don’t need anything from you or Han.”

Rey closed her mouth and bit her lip. His tone made her stomach turn. He was upset.

Leia’s face shuttered close. Her back straightened and there was a dangerous glint in her eye.

“Han isn’t here,” Leia said shortly. “And if you are to live here, I ask that you be civil to the people here.”

“You mean you,” Kylo replied angrily, and Leia shot him a terrible look.

“No, I don’t. I’m your mother, so I don’t need you to be nice to me.”

Rey wet her lips and shifted, tightening her grip on Kylo’s hand for a different reason now.

“No, you don’t You don’t need anyone but yourself, do you?” Kylo bit back.

“Kylo!” Rey said suddenly, shocked by the venom in his voice. He looked to her, shuddered, then shifted his gaze down to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I am…grateful…that you would allow us to stay.”

Rey breathed a sigh of relief, and Leia, although she did not smile, looked a little softer.

“Thank you,” she replied. “You are welcome to stay as long as you want. You have this village’s protection.”

“Thank you,” Rey said, and Kylo nodded.

“Go on,” Leia said. “It’s getting dark.”

They both turned away, but Rey glanced back to see the woman staring after them, a wistful look on her expression. They entered the hut and found it not even dusty, with no leaves or extra dirt on the floor. It seemed like it had been upkept in hopes that Kylo would come back.

Rey let go of Kylo’s hand and dropped her pack. It fell to the floor with a thump. She sighed and opened her arms and twirled around the empty room.

“Our own hut,” Rey said dreamily. She chose to ignore all the questions buzzing around in her mind to opt for the happiness she felt. “I’ve never lived in a hut.”

Kylo wove his arm around her waist and kissed her forehead as she smiled up at him. All the tension seemed to drain from him.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” he said quietly.

They kissed lightly, then began to unpack. There wasn’t too much to do, and they couldn’t fill the mattress up yet so they simply spread some furs on the floor to sleep on. Soon enough, they were curled around each other by a small fire.

It was the first fire of their new house. It made the hut smell right, smell lived in. Rey liked the scent their things made, mixing their two smells together.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Rey asked him once their breathing had both slowed and they were relaxed.

Kylo sighed, but he didn’t pull away from her.

“Which part?” He asked quietly.

Rey thought for a moment. “How about telling me why she kept calling you Ben?”

“Because it was my name. It was a boy’s name. When I moved away, I became a man and became Kylo.”

Rey wondered what Kylo was like back then, when he was Ben. But she decided to save that question for later.

“Why were you so angry?” Rey asked. Leia seemed like a sweet woman, just hard as steel underneath.

There was a long silence.

“My parents are both Alphas,” Kylo finally said. “And it showed. They fought all the time. Both ran so hot and cold, and nothing really balanced them out. Maybe an omega child would have been better than I, for my own anger and turbulent emotions only added fuel to the fire. I never got along with my father, because he was never around long enough to mend things. As soon as things turned sour, he’d run off with his best friend and return with gifts after a week. He was born in a huge village, and never was used to living in a small village. He’s a shoddy hunter, preferring to trade instead. So we just never had anything in common.”

Kylo’s eyes were dark even in the firelight, and he looked younger, more vulnerable as he spoke.

“But my mother and I…we got along sometimes. Until I got older. Snoke lured me away, saying it was better to work for being chieftain than just inheriting it. But that’s another story.”

Rey sensed that he was done talking, and chose to bury herself into his chest.

“I’m glad we’re here,” Rey said. “Do you think she liked me?”

Kylo slowly peppered her face with kisses. “Yes. She did. But who cares? I like you.”

Rey smiled. “I like you too,” she teased. “I like you a lot.”

Kylo kissed her and cuddled her. She was warm and safe. She was loved. Her heart was calm, her mind was quiet. Everything was right in the world when she was with Kylo.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Thanks for the lovely reception. I hope you guys enjoy this longer chapter as an apology for my lateness. Kisses to you all, and come see me at alicecantescape on tumblr!

In the morning, they gathered water from the nearby river in a pot to bring back to their new hut. They cleaned themselves off and washed their hair. Once they were clean, they headed back to the hut.

Once the sun was high in the sky, the dew on the hay had dried enough to be cut and stuffed into their mattress. When the mattress was stuffed full of the thick, golden hay, Kylo and Rey carried it into their home.

Kylo kissed Rey and took his bow and arrows out into the forest. She declined to go with him, feeling an urge to nest. They had spread things around a little, but she wanted to arrange things a bit more

She folded their extra furs and spread the rest on their bed. She placed a few flowers on the window sill—that’s what the holes were called, windows. Her little doll went up on a single shelf. She dragged in a few cut stumps so they could have somewhere to sit. Then she began to gather a good amount of firewood from the surrounding woods.

“Rey,” came a voice behind her. Rey startled, dropping her firewood and turning to face the intruder.

It was Leia, her small figure standing straight and strong behind her. Leia looked amused, her eyes alight with curiosity.

“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Rey smiled thinly at the alpha woman, not sure what to think after hearing about Kylo’s childhood.

“It’s alright,” Rey murmured, picking up her firewood. Leia moved towards her and helped her pick it up.

“I wanted to speak with you,” Leia said quietly, and Rey froze, her eyes meeting the woman’s brown ones.

“I actually have to—”

“I want to reunite with my son. I want to be a part of his life.”

Rey sucked in a breath and straightened up, firewood forgotten. Leia’s expression was wistful, the longing almost tangible. Rey’s throat suddenly grew thick.

She felt strange. She had imagined this conversation before, but with her own mother pleading to be a part of her life. To apologize to her, to beg her to forgive her. To be showered with love and to be filled with a sense of belonging. So it was strange to be confronted with Leia’s plea, and it hurt her a little.

Rey turned away from Leia to hide the tears shimmering in her own eyes, but Leia must have noticed, for her voice became gentler.

“I want to know him, and you. I want to be a family.”

Rey swallowed back her emotion. “Kylo is my mate. I…I don’t think he’s ready for that.”

Leia took her hand, startling Rey yet again, forcing their eyes to meet. “I know that. I was just hoping, that perhaps if you spoke to him…”

Rey frowned and withdrew her hand a little. “I don’t even know you. How do I know…” She paused. “How do I know that’s even a good idea?”

Leia frowned a little. “You’re right,” she sighed. “It is a lot to ask of you.”

Rey bit her lip. “Maybe…maybe we should just…get to know each other a bit. Give me some time to think about it.”

Leia’s eyes lit up with hope, making Rey’s heart ache.

“I think that would be wonderful,” Leia agreed. Rey smiled tentatively, and Leia’s warm smile in return was sweet. Rey’s hand was squeezed.

“Meet me tomorrow by the river,” Leia said. “We can talk then.”

Rey watched her retreat back into the clearing and she wondered for a moment if she had done the right thing. Should she tell Kylo? Would he be angry?

As she slowly walked back to the hut, her feet dragged a little. Her heart felt heavy. She was so conflicted. Kylo had exactly what Rey had wanted, and she desperately wanted it. He didn’t even know what he had. Leia seemed so nice, so warm. Rey would kill for someone to love her that way, like the way a mother loves a child.

But she had to respect his choice. It wasn’t something she really understood. But, she supposed he couldn’t stop her from getting to know Leia. What would it hurt? Rey had always formed her own opinions about people. Just because she had a mate doesn’t mean that had to change.

When she returned to the hut, Kylo had already skinned their dinner, two rabbits. He had them draped over the fire so they could roast evenly, and she felt grateful for her thoughtful mate.

“Hey, starlight,” Kylo said. “Lunch will be ready soon.”

Rey dropped her firewood on the pile and went to her mate, delighting in the heady scent of him. She wasn’t in heat, but something inside her still stirred every time she scented him.

He leaned down and kissed her, and she grabbed his head to deepen the kiss. She loved him. She loved him. He was enough of a family for her. Soon, perhaps, they would have their own little one.

Kylo’s large hand cupped her cheek. His thumb smoothed over the soft skin there, and his eyes shone when they pulled back.

“Come and eat,” he urged.

Rey sat down and eagerly reached for the hot rabbit, but Kylo brushed her hand away.

“What?” Rey said, a bit crossly.

Kylo sat down on the fur carpet and pulled her to sit between his legs. She smiled shyly as he kissed her cheek.

“I don’t want your hand to get burnt,” he said calmly, collecting the rabbit skewers. Once he checked that they were done—and cool enough to eat—he handed one to Rey.

She began devouring hers instantly. As she was finishing a leg, she wondered if her mate found her savage eating unappealing. So she turned her head back to glance at him to see.

He surprised her with a kiss to her lips, the grease from the rabbit fat making his lips even softer than normal. She leaned back in surprise, and he just smiled at her.

“Why did you—”

“Just because,” he answered quickly. “Can I not kiss my mate?”

Rey regarded him with a curious expression before returning to her rabbit, satisfied for now. She shouldn’t worry; she thought. He loved her.

After lunch they took a walk along the river and went for a quick swim to cleanse themselves of sweat and dirt that clung to their bodies from their earlier tasks. Rey was eager to explore the village but Kylo seemed more than happy to just keep to himself, so she humored him. She could always explore tomorrow.

After a dinner of dried deer meat and some watercress they had found by the river, Rey was cleaning up when she saw Kylo smiling at their bed, his hand brushing over the top of the crackling mattress.

“Is something wrong with the mattress?” Rey asked.

Kylo’s dark eyes slid over to hers, a small smile playing at his lips.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s not broken in.”

Rey blinked. “So you want to go to sleep?”

A strange chortle escaped Kylo. “No, starlight. I want to make love to you on it.”

A blush covered Rey’s cheeks as her mouth formed a small “o.” She felt a little dense. Of course that was what he meant. Of course.

It still surprised her a little, to know that he wanted her. No one had ever wanted her. She shifted on her feet and looked at him a little uncertainty. She bit her lip and met his eyes. He wanted her. He wanted her.

Kylo laughed and pulled her to his chest, his lips pressing against her forehead.

“What do you say, my love?”

She pressed her cheek into his scarred mating gland, enjoying the mixed scent of Kylo and her. She nodded, strangely feeling too shy to say anything. There was something so intimate about having sex in their own hut, in their own bed.

It made her wet to think about it.

Kylo pulled back to look into her eyes. “I want to touch you, Rey. Let me touch you.”

Rey swallowed at the sound of his low voice. “You are touching me…”

Kylo traced little patterns on her arms with his fingertips. “Like this? You want me to touch you like this?”

Rey locked eyes with Kylo, then slowly shook her head.

Kylo smiled.

“Tell me, then Rey. Tell me what you want.”

Rey’s lips parted and she blinked. Kylo’s dark eyes shimmered with desire, his lips playing with a small smile.

“Touch me here,” she whispered, taking his hand and pressing it to her mound between her legs. Her cheeks flamed. “Please, alpha.”

“That’s my sweet little omega,” Kylo murmured, letting his fingers dive beneath her leggings to circle around her clit. Rey closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, her hips trembling. He pulled her towards the bed, withdrawing his hand from her. He pushed her back against mattress, and she let herself fall backwards onto the bed.

He peeled off her leggings and tunic, and once she was naked as the day she was born he stood back and stripped off his own tunic. Rey watched him, her bare breasts rising and falling with her eager breaths. Kylo’s pants went off, and his member jutted out proudly from between his legs, leaking enthusiastically. The pink tip of it was shining, his beautiful cock rising from the wiry hair like a thick, long trunk of a tree. Rey’s mouth watered, and she tried to sit up because she wanted him in her mouth.

But Kylo pushed her back against the mattress and straddled her, cupping both her breasts and running his thumbs over her sensitive nipples. She whimpered and thrust her chest up into his hands, but he pulled away. He came closer, his gorgeous cock coming closer and closer until finally she could take it in her warm, wet mouth. He tasted tangy and musky, deliciously filling every small inch of her mouth with his taste.

She sucked eagerly, running her hands up his strong thighs to grasp the last few inches that didn’t fit in her mouth. He thrust himself down her throat and she closed her eyes, letting her throat relax enough to accommodate him. Kylo was panting, his hands running through her wild hair that was spread all over the bed.

“That’s my good girl,” he murmured. “Take my cock. Take all of it.”

His scent was all around her, filling her nostrils with a delectable musky pine scent that was distinctively her mate. Rey wanted to stay in it forever. She felt relaxed and aroused, yearning and yet satisfied. She knew she was safe, she was loved, she was _adored_. She could see it in his eyes, in the high flush of his ivory skin. His hands were gentle even though his hip’s movements were rough.

His knot—his perfect, swelling, pink knot was so big it stretched her lips almost painfully. He was close, too close. She wanted to swallow him down, taste his cum, but at the same time, she needed him inside her. She wanted to be locked in with him, taking his knot the only way she knew how.

He withdrew from her suddenly, her mouth gasping in air instead of his cock. Saliva and precum dripped from her pink lips, and she licked her lips in an attempt to feed her need to continue to taste him.

“Hands and knees,” he said, and she blinked at him, confused by the sudden command, her mind still focused on pleasuring him.

His eyes narrowed and his plush lips quirked. “I said, get on your hands and knees.”

Slowly, Rey stretched out her legs on the long, plush mattress and flipped over onto her stomach before raising herself onto her hands and knees. Her wet cunt glistened in the firelight, and Kylo leaned in and blew on the sensitive flesh, causing her to clench around nothing. It reminded her of her last heat and how empty she had felt, so she cried out.

“Kylo, please!” She moaned, and she heard him chuckle darkly.

“Patience, starlight,” he said, his hand rubbing over her bottom smoothly. Then suddenly, his hand struck the firm flesh of her backside quickly, stinging the sensitive skin there.

“Kylo!” she said, twisting around to look at the wicked smile on his face.

“Face forward,” he said softly, the gentle sound of his voice matching the soothing hand rubbing at her pink cheek. She flushed and obeyed, feeling embarrassed at how stiff her nipples were, how wet she was for him.

He did it again, this time to the other cheek and she whimpered softly but did not turn around. A very thin stream of her own slick ran down her thigh.

Kylo caught it, and she heard him lick it off his finger. She shuddered. Then finally, she felt his cock prod very gently at her displayed entrance.

“You’re being so good for me, Rey,” Kylo said. “Should I reward you?”

Rey sucked in a breath and then let it all rush out. “Yes, yes, yes,” she breathed. Please, gods. She needed him. She needed him so badly, wanted to be his good girl. And finally, he pushed in.

She felt her walls expand as he entered her, stretching her to the limit. She felt his knot, already partly filled, stretch her entrance. It felt so good.

At this angle, the head of his cock dragged against a spot deep inside her that made her whimper. He grabbed her hips roughly and slammed his hips into her, making her truly cry out.

“Yes, gods, Kylo, please,” she babbled, and she could practically feel his knot expand proudly.

“That’s my omega,” he panted. “My mate.”

“Yes,” Rey moaned. “Yours, your mate.”

Kylo’s hands gripped her hard, and his hips snapped into her bottom. “Gonna fuck you so hard you’ll scream my name when you cum. Everyone will know whose mate you are.”

She couldn’t respond, she was too busy feeling everything at once. Feeling filled, feeling good, feeling utterly and completely fucked. And it was good. Somehow, he knew she didn’t need his gentle lovemaking tonight, that she needed more. That deep inside her, she wanted to please her mate just as much as he wanted to please her.

“Come, Rey. Come on my cock.”

She bit her lip to try and keep the moan back, but she couldn’t. A squeal left her lips as she clenched around him, coming harder than she had before. His knot swelled and almost stuck once, then twice, then finally locked into place. He roared her name with approval and she collapsed onto the bed, her hands giving out. He followed her, but twisted to the side so as to not land on her. Spooning her close, he kissed the nape of her neck.

“You feel so good,” he whispered, and she felt him pulse inside her, shooting his milky cum into her.

“I feel the same about you,” she breathed. He kissed her neck again and carefully massaged the red marks on her hips that he had left.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “Was I too rough?”

She shook her head.

“It felt really…good,” she replied. “I wanted you so badly…”

“I know,” he said, using the flat of his tongue to smooth over her irritated scent gland on her neck. “I felt it too.”

She smiled. “Was I good, alpha?”

He practically purred. “You were very good, omega.”

She wiggled her hips a little bit and he groaned lowly.

“Careful, starlight,” he warned. “Or I might have to break in this bed a second time.”

Rey scoffed a little. He wasn’t that resilient—he wasn’t even in rut. But she let him have his moment.

“Sleep,” he urged her as she sighed against the fur blanket she was pressed against. “You’re tired.”

She yawned a little. “I don’t want this to end,” she said. He pressed a kiss to her head.

“There’s much more yet to come, my love,” he promised, and she believed him. They would have everything. He would give her everything she had ever needed, even if she didn’t want him to.

With his cock still hard inside her, she fell asleep snuggled close to him.

When she awoke, it was to a familiar twisting of her stomach and bathed in a cold sweat. The hut was almost pitch black, their fire having died down to only hot coals. Rey pulled herself from Kylo’s grip and knelt before the fire, blowing on the coals and then adding a piece of wood to the fire. Then she dipped her fingers down to the apex of her thighs, swiping lightly. As she held her fingers up to the light, her breath caught.

Blood.

Her monthly course had come, as she suspected.

Instantly her heart dropped. She suddenly realized how much she had wanted to become pregnant. Sure, wasn’t that what all omega’s instinctively wanted? To be mated and then impregnated? But it had felt like so much more than that.

She had had thoughts of having a real family. Of a child she could bring into this world to love and protect and teach. The thought of having a child with the man she loved made it all the more appealing—she had dreamed of what Kylo’s face would be like when she told him that she was pregnant. He would have been ecstatic, filled with joy.

She felt like a bad omega. What if…what if she couldn’t have children? There had been a time when she had hurt herself by springing another hunter’s trap and had almost starved to death…even after she got better and began hunting again, her monthly course had taken it’s time in resuming. It had never really bothered her before now. Now she had someone she loved and wanted to share a child with.

She hadn’t realized she was crying until a tear dropped onto her finger, washing some of the blood off of it. With a thick throat, she shakily stood and went to wash her hands and thighs of the blood. She dressed, tucking one of the stained rags she had bundled away in between her leggings and her cunt to catch the blood. As she was doing so, Kylo began to stir.

“Rey?”

Sensing that she had gone must have awoken him, for she had been silent as the night. As she washed her hands once more—just to get the scent of blood off of them—she heard him sit up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her softly, and she swallowed down her tears. Without turning to him, she answered.

“I’m not pregnant,” she said flatly. “My lunar blood came.”

She dried off her hands and felt rather than heard his sadness in the silence that followed.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he ordered quietly, and she went to him without meeting his eyes. She curled up in his embrace, the pain washing over her again. He tucked her into the circle of his arms and kissed her hair as she let herself be swallowed up by it all.

“It was our first try,” he said gently. “You were barely in your heat. We will try again.”

Rey buried her face into his neck and let out a small sob.

“What if…What if…” She couldn’t say it.

“Shh. Don’t think like that.”

She had to tell him. Had to tell him of her missed months, of how her body had been hollow bones and skin. She showed him the raised skin of her scar. It all came pouring out then as she remembered how scared she had been and how scared she was now that she had hurt herself permanently.

He was quiet, but his muscles were rigid and tense. He seemed angry, and Rey couldn’t guess why. Her alpha couldn’t be angry at her, would he? Maybe he thought she had deceived him. Maybe he—

“I’m sorry, Rey. I should have…I should have found you earlier. Been there to help you, protect you.”

Rey looked up and locked eyes with him and saw pain there in the brown depths, like mud clouding a beautiful clear river.

“Kylo,” she said. “How could you have known? It is no one’s fault but my own. I should have been more careful.”

“Rey,” he interjected, his voice sounding truly angry. “It was one mistake. You can’t blame yourself for that. You know it’s not your fault you were alone.”

Rey shifted her gaze away and laid her head back down on his chest. She didn’t know what to say. Part of her wondered, had always wondered, if it was her fault. If her parents had seen something in her they didn’t like or didn’t want. If she had done something wrong.

His fingers took her chin and guided it forward, forcing her to look at him.

“It was not your fault,” he said lowly, and she wondered if he had read her mind somehow. “They were the ones who are at fault for throwing away such a treasure.”

“Kylo,” she whispered, her hand curling around his to bring his hand down to interlace their fingers. He leaned forward and she kissed him deeply, loving the way he made her feel. Like she was important. Like she was special, and worthy of love. Like something inside of her was slowly beginning to heal that she hadn’t even know was hurting.

They parted, panting, but he still pressed his lips to her temple one more time.

“We will try again,” he said firmly. “We need to be patient. It will happen when it happens.”

She nodded and he laid down with her still tucked in his arms. She silently realized she could fall asleep anywhere as long as he was around—that’s how relaxed she felt. It was better than after sex, when she felt boneless and spent. Now she felt relaxed and comforted. Without a thought left in her mind, she drifted away in the tight circle of his arms, feeling more free than she ever had before.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! With summer classes and working and my practicum, I just haven't had a moment to write. But I'm back and I intend on staying! Thanks again for all the support!

The next morning, Kylo was disappointed when she declined to go hunting with him again. After last night, he was worried about her and wanted to keep her close.

“I want to bring down big game with you, sweetheart. We work best as a team,” he said, trying to sway her. And she was tempted. Part of her wanted to be close to her alpha, and another part of her wanted to return to her scavenging ways. But she had promised Leia.

“Tomorrow,” Rey promised, pressing her lips to his to silence them.

His eyes searched hers, and she curved her lips into a small smile to reassure him. With a growl, he kissed her again.

“Tomorrow,” he echoed when they both were apart again, panting and eager for each other. When he finally departed, Rey felt a loss but pressed it away. They would be together soon.

As she walked to the river with her basket of clothes, she felt guilty for misleading her mate. Kylo had done nothing but take care of her. Why had she decided to go behind this back in this way?

He hadn’t told her not to talk to Leia, she reasoned. Maybe he wouldn’t care.

But as she spotted Leia in the shade on the edge of the clearing, almost as if she was hiding, blending into the shadows, she knew he would care.

“Rey,” Leia greeted her, smiling widely. She had her own basket of clothes she was washing, as well as a bone needle and thread for patching things up.

“Hi,” Rey said, standing over the other woman awkwardly. Leia patted the ground beside her.

“Come, sit.”

Rey obliged without a word, scared that Leia would begin asking her questions about Kylo. She didn’t want to cross that line.

“So,” Leia began. “Tell me about you.”

Rey was startled. After Kylo’s description of his mother and the desperation Rey had sensed, she hadn’t expected the woman to care about…her.

“Well,” Rey said hesitantly. “I’m an orphan from just outside Niima. I traded in the village, but I lived in a cave outside of the village. I hunt, I gather, I fish.” She paused. She wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Your parents died?”

Rey shook her head slowly. “No…they…sold me for drinking money then disappeared.”

Leia frowned, her face compassionate. “I’m sorry, Rey. No child deserves that.”

Rey pressed her lips together before replying. “It happened a long time ago.”

Leia gave her a look. “Yet it stays with you, does it not?”

Rey looked away. There was something about talking to another woman that made her feel afraid of rejection. She had never spoken about this to anyone but Kylo.

Leia touched her hand. “You are clearly a strong woman, Rey. Don’t think that I doubt that.”

Rey looked up, meeting the other woman’s brown eyes. Just like her son’s.

“Thank you,” Rey replied quietly.

She busied her hands by wetting the clothes in her basket. She had a small crock of soft soap that she used to soap up the clothes, creating a thick lather on her and Kylo’s tunics and leggings.

“How did you and Kylo meet, if you lived on your own?” Leia asked. When she saw Rey’s wary expression, she added, “If I may ask.”

Rey decided it would be ok. “It’s kind of embarrassing,” she admitted. “I was looking for some plants for a heat suppressant when it hit me all at once. Kylo found me and took me back to his village to take care of me.” She smiled at the memory—it seemed so long ago.

Leia was smiling too. “Ben—I mean Kylo—always had a kind heart. He used to take injured birds and care for them until they were recovered.”

Rey found herself imagining a small boy with a mop of black curls. Longing filled her heart.

“What else was he like?” She asked hopefully, and Leia’s smile turned sad.

“Quiet, clever. Kind, but very stubborn and passionate. He used to hide when he was sad, and yell when he was angry.” She gave Rey a knowing look. “You have lots to look forward to.”

She must have noticed Rey’s smile dipping, because she touched Rey’s wet hand. “Are you alright?”

Rey nodded, turning her cheek away. But something, a very small part inside of her, trusted this woman. Maybe it was Kylo’s eyes, or the motherly way she touched Rey’s hand. But Rey soon found herself spilling out the truth.

“Kylo and I are trying to have a child, but last night I began my lunar cycle,” Rey confessed.

Leia’s eyes softened and she grasped Rey’s hand tighter. “Oh, dear. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Rey said softly. “I just was eager to have my own family.”

Leia smiled a little. “I know the feeling. It took Han and me a while before I became pregnant with Ben.”

Rey nodded, and Leia suddenly lit up.

“You must let me introduce you to someone. She and her mate, Finn, are also trying for a child. I think you’d get along.”

Rey worried her lip between her teeth. She really should be getting back to the hut. But…

“Alright.”

Leia beamed and turned away from Rey. “Rose!”

A petite woman, her legs knee deep in the water, looked up as her name was called. She had thin, twinkling eyes and straight black hair that she had tucked up high on her head.

Rey saw that her basket was full of algae that she had been collecting as she waded close to the pair of women.

“Hello, Leia. How are you?” Rose asked. She did not join them on the bank, instead standing in the shallow water to keep her feet cool.

“I’m fine. I wanted to introduce you to Rey—she and her mate are new to the village,” Leia replied.

Rose smiled shyly at Rey. “Hello, Rey. Welcome.”

Rey found herself smiling back. She liked this sunny woman. “Thank you,” she said. She was also grateful that Leia didn’t mention who Rey’s mate was.

“My mate’s over there, fishing. His name’s Finn.” Rose pointed to a dark skinned man sitting not too far away on the bank. He squinted at the sun and looked warily over the group of women.

“My mate’s hunting,” Rey replied. “He’s…not very sociable.”

Rose laughed, and even Leia chuckled.

“Finn’s not very sociable either. He has me, and his friend Poe, and he’s pretty satisfied with just that. But I’m happy to meet new people and make new friends,” Rose said.

“I feel the same way,” Rey said, and the two women smiled at each other.

“We should share a meal sometime,” Rose said.

“I’d like that,” Rey replied. They spoke a little longer before Rey realized she had spent too long at the river—Kylo might come looking for her. So she said her goodbyes and returned back to the hut.

Kylo was already there, skinning a rabbit pelt. More than a few others laid next to him. Rey’s pride swelled as she saw the pile of rabbits. Her mate was a good, strong hunter. Just like her. He would do more than provide for himself. If she let him, she had no doubt that he would take care of her.

Kylo shielded his eyes as Rey came a little closer. Her smile widened when she saw his grin at seeing her. It made her want to drop the basket of clothes and run into his arms. Oh, how she loved him.

But she kept her composure, only smiling as she came closer.

“A successful hunt?” She asked, putting down the basket of clothes away from the outside fire so they wouldn’t get smoky.

Kylo smirked. “It’d be more successful if you came. Then we could take down some big game.”

Rey hmmed but didn’t really answer. She could feel Kylo’s eyes on her and felt a little rush of fear that he might read her too well. Her stomach turned. She wished she could just tell him.

“How was the river?”

Rey swallowed. “Fine. Met a girl named Rose there.”

Kylo grunted and continued stripping the rabbit pelt of it’s layer of fat. “Making friends, huh?”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “It’s not bad to have friends,” she said. “Maybe if you had some, you’d know that.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her, as if unsure if she was being playful. “As if you had friends, living alone in that cave.”

Rey’s cheeks burned, and it wasn’t from the heat of the fire their rabbit meat was roasting on. “I would have if I hadn’t been an outcast,” she bit back.

She fixed him with a hard glare and he stared back impassively. Finally, something in hm softened. “I know that,” he said. “It was just a tease.”

“It didn’t feel like a tease,” Rey replied, a little sharper than she’d meant to be. But still, he did not anger.

“Come here,” he commanded. “I’ve missed you and I don’t want to fight.”

She hesitated. It was not an Alpha command, meaning she didn’t have to obey, but a little voice inside her still wanted to. Her toes scrunched up the grass beneath her feet before she slowly padded over the dusty ground to slide into his lap.

He could not put his hands on her since they were greasy, but he kissed her sweetly.

“I don’t care if you make friends, sweetheart,” he said softly. “If that’s what you desire, so be it.”

She leaned her head against his heart, listening to the thud of his heartbeat. A comfort.

“Don’t you want friends?” She asked. Didn’t everyone need friends?

He shrugged and went back to his work, his thick arms flexing as they scraped away the fat. “I have you. You’re more than I ever imagined I’d have.”

She frowned. “That doesn’t mean you don’t need friends.”

He fixed her with a look and then kissed her.

“I don’t deserve what I have right now,” he replied. “Why test the gods by asking for more?”

She didn’t like that kind of talk. “Hush,” she scolded. “I deserve you, and you deserve me. Ok?”

He didn’t reply, and she waited for a long while. But once he finished, he nudged her with his elbow so he could wash his hands.

She got up and watched him stretch the pelts to dry and tan, and then as he washed his face and hands. She busied herself with turning the rabbit and feeding the outside fire with wood.

When he returned, he shooed her hands away from the fire and picked up the skewers the rabbit was on. Then he passed her two and gestured her forward, to sit on his lap once more.

“Will we ever eat a meal sitting apart?” She wondered outloud, and he chuckled.

“I hope not,” he replied. “Now that you’re mine, I do not wish to be parted from you.”

That night she started their fire inside as he fetched more water from the river, a heavy task. She was laying on their bed when he returned.

“You’re loveliest laying in our bed, sweetheart,” he murmured, and she found her cheeks warming.

He joined her, scooping her up and laying her on his chest the way he liked. She knew he liked to feel her weight on him, and awoke if she rolled off him in the night for any reason. It was an Alpha thing—protecting what was his. He snuffled at he gland and licked it, causing Rey to shiver.

“Kylo,” she whispered. “Not tonight. My cycle…”

His large hands splayed at her back, but did not move anymore. “It doesn’t matter if we mate on your cycle,” he said. “I am not repulsed. But if that is what you wish, I understand.”

Rey felt a little achy, and simply wished to be comforted. “Just hold me tonight,” she asked.

He did, pulling her closer and covering her with a large, warm fur. She drifted off to sleep easily, the knot in her chest eased by his presence.

In the morning, however, she woke feeling pain low in her belly. It was not unusual for her second day, but Kylo did not seem to understand that. He fussed over her, made her drink water, and hovered incessantly.

“Kylo,” Rey finally said. “You need to be calm. It happens every month and I will feel better by tomorrow.”

“I am calm,” Kylo argued, wincing as she frowned when a cramp hit her. “Let me get a medicine woman. Surely there is some tea—”

“I don’t want tea,” Rey said stubbornly. “I want you to hold me.”

Kylo looked torn, but eventually gave in. He wrapped his arms around Rey and she relaxed, the scent of her mate calming her. It didn’t much help with the cramps though.

“I just want to rest,” she grumbled while munching on some food Kylo prepared for her.

“Then sleep,” Kylo said.

“I can’t,” Rey said. “My body hurts.”

“Then I will get a medicine woman.”

“Fine,” Rey said a bit snappish, regretting her tone as soon as she’d said it. Kylo was only trying to help. But she wasn’t used to being fussed over. In her cave, she usually stayed in her hammock all day long, tossing and turning until the pain passed, suffering silently. But with Kylo there to witness her pain, she felt uncomfortable. She wasn’t used to looking so weak in front of others.

Kylo left, but returned only minutes later, looking angry. Behind him came Leia.

“Hello dear,” she said to Rey, and Rey watched as Kylo’s entire body stiffened.

“You’re the medicine woman?” Rey asked with disbelief. Kylo spoke to his mother, asked her to come to their home merely because Rey was in a bit of pain?

Leia nodded and began boiling some water. “I am,” she said calmly. “And I have something that will ease your pain and allow you to rest.”

Rey blinked. “It really isn’t that bad,” she hurried to say, embarrassed. “Just a bit of cycle pain—”

“Ben says you’ve already used two cloths this morning,” Leia said. “Sounds like you may be having stronger pains than most.”

Rey threw Kylo an accusatory glance, but he was staring emotionlessly at the wall. Leia tossed a few herbs in a cloth and threw it in the boiling water.

“That bag can be used more than once,” she told them. “But if you need more, you know where to find me.”

Stiffly, Kylo reached for the rabbit pelts he had already prepared and held them out to Leia.

“No payment needed,” she said. “Family is family.”

“We are not your family,” Kylo said coldly, holding the pelts out still. Leia’s chin lifted and she frowned.

“Then consider it a gift,” she replied, sweeping out of the hut.

Kylo threw the pelts onto the dusty floor and cursed. Rey clutched the fur covering her and held her hand out to Kylo.

“Stop it,” she said. “It was a kind gesture.”

“I don’t need her kindness,” he snapped. Rey sighed and he noticed and took her hand in his, kissing her knuckles.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. What do you need?”

“Some tea, please.”

It was bitter but it felt good going down, and in time Rey felt her pain ease. Kylo laid beside her, stroking her hair as she began to doze.

“I guess we won’t be hunting today,” Rey murmured. “I promise tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kylo replied softly. “Winter is far away.”

Rey sighed. “I love you,” she said. “Don’t leave me, ok?”

He kissed her temple. “Never,” he promised. “I’ll be right here as you sleep.”

“Thank you.”

Somehow, Rey was comforted. Kylo woke her to eat, and when he did she was feeling much better. Better enough to help clean up dinner, and to wash out her soiled cloths. Kylo tried to get her back to bed, but she waved him off.

“If I don’t wash these, I won’t have enough for tomorrow,” she said.

“I’ll wash them.”

Her head snapped up in surprise. Such a thing was considered degrading and a woman’s job. He would do that…for her?

“Kylo…” she said. “I don’t need you to do all that. I can take care of myself.”

He knelt down beside the bin of murky pink water.

“It is an honor to take care of my omega,” he said. “Why would this be any different?”

Rey shook her head and wrung out a wet cloth. “You are very sweet,” she said. “But honestly, I can do this.”

He shrugged and touched her cheek, guiding her face towards his so he could kiss her. He said nothing more and walked away shortly after, but Rey was touched. He cared about her so much. He loved her. And how did she repay him? By lying to him.

As she finished up her washing, she worried and fretted. How could she keep doing this to him? The next time she saw Leia, she would put a stop to this. Leia was a nice woman, But Rey couldn’t keep doing this to her mate. Leia would have to find her own way back to him.

As Rey fell asleep in Kylo’s arms that night, she planned what she would say. She fell asleep with a tight stomach that had nothing to do with cramps.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops I did it again with another late update. But I've been writing, just not the chapter that needed to be written next, haha. But here it is! Thanks again for the support. Please comment. It means the world to me and is the sweet sweet validation I need. Kisses!

The next day, she was feeling much better. Kylo still fussed over her in his own way—not waking her up at day break, bringing her breakfast like she couldn’t get it herself. It was rather sweet. She gave him a long kiss as he prepared for their hunt, sharpening their arrowheads. He seemed surprised by this, and drew her back to him after she tried to pull away.

“Maybe you should go back to bed,” he said slyly, his full lips quirking.

Rey frowned. “Why? I told you, I’m feeling much better.”

Kylo leaned forward to kiss her as she had, lingering on her mouth.

“Because I want to join you there,” he cooed. She laughed and swatted at him playfully, but his strong arms pulled her into his lap.

“Tell me you’ll join me in hunting today, mate,” he said.

Rey smiled fondly at him. “Of course I will,” she said. “I promised.”

He shrugged. “People break promises.”

Rey looped her arms around his neck. “I don’t,” she said. But then she thought of his mother. “Well, not usually.”

He tilted his head at her, his dark eyes searching hers. “Promise me you’ll never leave me,” he said. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Rey’s throat felt thick. She leaned her forehead against his and looked deep into his eyes. “I promise,” she said softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either.”

Kylo thumbed over the mating mark on her neck. His eyes were so dark, so sorrowful. She didn’t move away from his intense gaze, not intimidated by the depth of his emotions. She loved him so much, could taste the devotion and loyalty and adoration that flowed from him. But behind it was the coppery, sour taste of fear. She smoothed the hair at the nape of his neck and then slowly leaned forward to kiss him.

Rey felt him relax under her, and his grip on her waist and neck loosened. When she broke the kiss, she smiled at him and his half-lidded eyes.

“Let’s go take down a big one,” she said.

They packed up their supplies. Kylo ducked back into their hut for their water canteen just as Leia emerged from her hut with her water jug. Rey shook her head at Leia’s questioning look and ignored the swell of emotion that came with the other woman’s disappointed expression. Kylo came out and handed the water canteen to Rey to carry and his eyes immediately locked on Leia’s back as she headed to the river.

Rey, tense and taught with nerves, snapped, “Quit brooding.”

Kylo looked at her with surprise, then his eyes narrowed in frustration. “Stay out of it, Rey,” he warned.

Rey tried to bite her tongue, but apparently not hard enough. “Just because I understand your side doesn’t mean—” She stopped herself.

Kylo crossed his thick arms across his woven cloth shirt. “What?”

Rey swallowed. “It doesn’t mean it’s the only side,” she mumbled, looking away.

Kylo was silent. Finally, Rey dared to look at him.

His expression was one of hurt. “I thought you, as my mate, would understand,” he said. He seemed more hurt than angry, and Rey felt even worse.

“I do understand,” she said, frustrated. “But…if I had a mother…”

“Well, you don’t.” Kylo said shortly. “I was mistaken. You couldn’t possibly understand.”

Now Rey was the one to be hurt. She felt as if he had slapped her. She almost wished he had, instead.

“That’s not my fault,” she said, fighting back tears. “I thought you, as my mate, would understand _that_.”

She could barely look at him. He seemed ashamed. “Rey,” he began. “I didn’t mean—”

“Whatever,” she said, brushing away her feelings, putting them away in a box in her head. “Let’s just go.”

He followed her in silence, and they only managed to shoot small game for the first few hours. They were out of sync, and Rey couldn’t keep herself from replaying their fight over and over in her mind. If only she hadn’t snapped. If only she wasn’t keeping a secret from him.

Tension boiled in her gut as they came to a berry bush full of berries. As they silently gathered some, she resolved to just come clean, to let it all out and let things fall where they fell. But as she turned and opened her mouth, nothing came out.

For just over Kylo’s shoulder was a bear. A huge brown bear, standing on it’s hind legs and eating berries. It was staring at them, and immediately Rey’s mind began to turn.

If they backed away slowly, perhaps the bear would just ignore them and—

But no. The bear turned it’s gaze on them.

She could feel the bear’s agitation rise. Kylo, who had by now caught sight of the bear, was slowly reaching behind himself for his spear.

“Rey,” Kylo said slowly. “Turn and run back home.”

Rey sucked in a breath. Her stupid mate had only one thought on his damn mind—protecting her.

“Don’t be stupid,” she hissed. “I’m not leaving you.”

Kylo looked agitated, but the bear began to move towards them, huffing her breath. She obviously thought they were a threat.

“Rey!” Kylo growled, his voice laden with an Alpha command. “Go.”

Rey immediately started to move, her body trying to please her Alpha. But she fought it, gnashing her teeth and trembling as she took out her own bow and arrow.

“No,” she managed, sweat gleaming on her brow as she fought off his command. “I will not. Aim for the eyes, Kylo.”

Kylo’s eyes widened as Rey stepped forward and took a shot, but he instinctively raised his bow and copied her movements, aiming well and true.

Her shot hit the aim, his struck the bear in the shoulder. Angered, hurt, and partially blinded, the bear charged towards them. Kylo leapt in front of Rey and let loose another arrow, this time fully striking the bear in it’s other black and beady eye. But as the bear fell forward, it swiped it’s clawed paw in front of it’s body, striking Kylo’s shoulder and side. Rey gasped and quickly loaded her bow, her hands shaking as her mate went to his knees in front of her. Trembling, she shot her arrow straight into the bear’s heart.

The bear fell to the dust with a huge thump, twitching and groaning as it died. Rey rushed to Kylo’s side, ripping his shirt away to see his wounds.

Blood flowed from the large gash on Kylo’s shoulder and side. Three of the claws had made it’s mark there. Already it was red and irritated, sweat trickling into the wound.

“Oh, Kylo,” Rey groaned. “Oh, gods, oh gods,”

Kylo turned his head towards her, panting. “There’s not much time, starlight. If we are to get back to the village before I lose too much blood, we need to start walking now.”

Rey held back her tears and nodded. Kylo cursed as she helped him to his feet.

“Shit,” he said. “What a waste of meat.”

Rey gaped at her mate. “You’re worried about the bear?”

Kylo gave her a shaky but wry smile. “Not the bear. The meat,” he winced, clutching his wounded side. “I know how you worry about the winter.”

Tears came into her eyes. How could she deserve such a mate that would defend her, and then—in his most painful moments, think only of her? She let her tears fall silently, turning her head away from Kylo so he wouldn’t see her cry as they limped on, his arm across her shoulder.

“Don’t cry, starlight,” Kylo said softly. “I’ll be alright. I promised not to leave you alone.”

She let out a small sob. “Oh Kylo,” she said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Rey,” he replied. “But I’m getting dizzy. You’re going to have to lay me down and go for help.”

She nodded and helped lower him to the ground. She grasped his hand and kissed it.

“I’ll be back soon,” she promised. “Don’t go to sleep.”

He nodded, grimacing. “I’ll try.”

She ran back to the village so fast her lungs were on fire. She burst into Leia’s hut, spilling out the story as Leia began to pack up her things.

“Run and get Finn and Poe, Poe’s my apprentice and we’ll need them both to lift Ben. Second hut past the old oak tree.”

Rey nodded and ran to get them. They came with her quickly with Rose in tow as well.

“Don’t worry, Rey,” Rose said. “Leia’s the best healer in this part of the forest. I’m sure your mate will be ok.”

Rey shook her head. “He didn’t want this—he didn’t want her help. If I had just respected that, maybe this wouldn’t have happened,” she babbled. Rose looked confused, but Rey didn’t have time to explain. All she could think about was Kylo.

Leia was somehow already at Kylo’s side when the whole entourage arrived. Kylo’s eyes were shut in pain as his mother washed his wounds, but when he heard Rey speak to Finn, his eyes slit open just the slightest.

“You’ll have to be gentle,” Rey said, and Finn clasped her on the shoulder.

“We will be,” he said solemnly. Kylo reached out weakly with his good hand.

“Rey,” he said.

Rey took her mate’s hand and squeezed it as the other two men listened carefully to Leia’s instructions. Kylo said nothing more to her, just gazed into her eyes. She could see the pain there, and it ate at her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as they went to lift him. Kylo grimaced as he was lifted and squeezed Rey’s hand hard.

They initially took him to Leia’s hut, but Rey interjected.

“Please, our home isn’t far from yours…can he stay in our hut? He would…he would prefer that.”

Leia frowned, but nodded grimly. Rey watched Finn and Poe exchange looks, but no one said anything as they carried him to the plush mattress.

Leia immediately got to work and so did Rose. Water began boiling and thread was waxed. Leia ran a thin needle into the boiling water after she threaded it before she got to work closing the wounds. Rey mainly pressed her back against the wall and tried not to be in the way. She felt useless and miserable. Kylo cried out in pain as his mother stuck the needle through him each time, and each time Rey winced at the sound.

Suddenly Finn poked his head into the hut. “Where do you want this bear, Rey?”

Shocked, Rey’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t realized Poe and Finn had gone back for the bear.

“Um…by the fire pit outside.”

Finn nodded. “Want us to get working on it? It’ll be dark soon and will attract wolves.”

Rey was overwhelmed with gratefulness to these people for helping her and Kylo. But she still shook her head.

“I can do it,” she said, and when Finn’s eyebrows rose, she came to the doorway. “I need to do it.”

So while the women worked on Kylo inside, Rey tore the bear apart. She gutted it fiercely, cursing its soul the entire time. She scraped the fat from the hide with rigor, and as night began to fall she had its meat already smoking over a raging outdoor fire. The pelt, which she promised herself she would never use as a blanket—no matter how cold it got—was hung high up in a nearby pine tree so no animal could mess with it.

She was still turning the meat on the spits when Leia came out and touched Rey’s sweaty shoulder. Rey jumped at the touch, then stood.

“Is he going to be alright?” She whispered.

Leia smiled a little. “Yes, I think so. But he will need tending to, or else his wounds might get infected.”

“I’ll do it,” Rey said without thinking. “I mean, if you could show me how…”

Leia sighed. “I suppose that would be best,” she said sadly. “He would not be very happy to see me if I did it.”

Rey nodded slowly and Leia shrugged. “I will come to check up on you, though. And you’re always free to come get me. Why don’t you wash up and then I’ll show you what to do inside.”

Rey nodded and did as she was told, hurriedly washing the blood and sweat and grease off her hands and arms so that she may help her mate.

It wasn’t complicated. He needed water and a simple, nutritious mash of tubers and grain. His wounds needed to be washed and rebandaged several times a day. And he had to be watched for a fever. If one occurred, Rey was to get Leia right away.

“You can also make him some of this tea to help him sleep,” Leia added before she left, leaving a bag with Rey. “But only two pinches—it could be deadly.”

Rey nodded solemnly. Rose gave her a smile as she packed up the rest of their equipment.

“You’ll do fine,” the other woman assured her, and Rey was grateful for the kind words. All too soon, they were gone, and she was left with Kylo, who’s ragged breathing filled the hut.

“Scared?” Kylo suddenly said, his voice raspy and tired. Rey rushed to his side, kneeling by the bed.

“I didn’t know you were awake,” Rey said, tugging the blanket over his shoulder. He sighed.

“Barely.”

“Go to sleep,” she scolded. But his dark eyes slit open to look at her.

“Sorry, Starlight,” he mumbled. “I didn’t want to scare you like this.”

She shook her head, holding back tears. “I’m not scared,” she lied.

He smiled weakly. “Liar.”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m ok, really Kylo. Please sleep.”

He nodded, closing his eyes. His breathing evened out and Rey was truly left alone.

Putting her head down on her folded arms, she let a few tears escape. How horrible it had all been. She prayed to the gods to spare her mate from infection and death, and to watch over him. It gave her some comfort, but in the end, only busying her hands really helped.

She stayed awake the entire night, cleaning and dusting and clumsily sewing patches onto their tunics. By the time the sun rose, Rey was exhausted but calm. Kylo had slept the entire night, even when Rey had washed his wounds. She was glad to spare him of the pain.

When he awoke with the sun, Rey was grateful. His stillness was unnatural to her.

“Rey,” he said, and she went to him with a bowl of water already ready for him. He drank some and refused the mash she had made.

“I’m not hungry yet.”

“You need to keep up your strength,” she argued, and he frowned.

“Please just leave it for a minute. Come lay by me.”

She held her tongue—it might hurt him to rock the bed with her weight, she shouldn’t get too close with her dirtied, sweaty skin. She kept quiet and carefully crawled onto the other side of him, his good side, because she truly needed some comfort too.

His arm came around her as she rested her head gingerly on his shoulder.

“That’s better,” he sighed, then brushed his lips against her forehead.

“Poe and Finn brought back the bear,” Rey mumbled, and Kylo’s brows shot up.

“They did?”

She nodded. “I took care of it last night while they were fixing you.”

His thumb rubbed against her skin. “My poor mate,” he murmured. “You must be exhausted.”

She shook her head. “I’m fine,” she said. “Are you sure you don’t want some mash?”

He frowned. “I’m sure. What I want is a kiss.”

Rey’s cheeks colored. “Kylo! Don’t joke.”

He stared at her. “I’m not joking.” His good hand came up to rest on the back of her head and he pulled her forward to him.

He did kiss her then, a kiss so soft and sweet that it made Rey want to cry. And she did. He pulled away after tears started rolling down her cheeks.

“Rey,” he said softly. “It’s alright. I’m going to be ok.”

She nodded and covered her lips with her hand to stifle her hiccups.

“I know,” she said. But how could she explain the deep, dark, inherent fear that someday she would be left alone again? That this wouldn’t last? And how cold she tell him of the guilt she felt?

“Shh,” he hushed. “I love you.”

She nodded again. “I love you too,” she replied, and his arm gripped her tightly, pulling her to his scent gland at the crook of his neck. She felt safe there, surrounded by his warmth and scent, and calmed quickly.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should be the one comforting you.”

He chuckled a little. “It comforts me to comfort you.”

They laid in quiet for a while, and then she did persuade him to eat some mash. But all too soon he was grimacing in pain and refusing the bowl.

“Let me make you some tea,” Rey suggested. Kylo glared at her.

“I don’t want to sleep,” he snapped, but Rey did not mind. She knew the pain was making him irritable.

“Too bad,” she said. He drank the tea once it was made, and she held his hand as he began to relax.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he mumbled to her. “No more stupid bears.”

She smiled gently. “Ok,” she assured him. “Go to sleep, please.”

“Don’t leave,” he said, cracking an eye open, his words slurring a little as the tea took effect.

“I will never,” Rey promised, and he seemed satisfied by that. Even as he slept, she kept holding his strong, large hand. She wouldn’t ever let go, not if he didn’t want her to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to all who come into contact with bears: Run.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK
> 
> ride the ben solo pain train with me friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, guys. If anyone is still reading this fic, thank you. I'm sorry it's been so long. But I'm back in action, and pretty determined to finish this fic. I still love writing, and writing Reylo. Love it. Missed it. So if you want to, please read this unbeta'd filth. I'm working on it, but I just needed to get this stupid chapter out.
> 
> I also now have a twitter: my handle is 1chibirini  
> Please follow me and make friends with me. I'm kind of lonely in the Reylo community and I think if I immersed myself I would want to write more...so come say hi!
> 
> Thanks for sticking around.
> 
> ANYWAYS: last chapter, Ben stepped between Rey and a bear and got horribly injured. But he's still kicking...

Kylo improved steadily, if not grumpily. The bear had scarred him, but he was by no means a broken man. After two days, he refused the tea Leia had left. He claimed it made him too sleepy, and he wanted to be alert and awake.

“Why?” Rey asked. Kylo’s plush bottom lip stuck out.

“I can’t protect you if I’m sleeping, starlight.”

Rey burst into laughter. Kylo’s dark eyes narrowed and she sobered as she noticed his grip on the fur get tight.

“You couldn’t protect me right now, anyways,” she said, and he winced. She bit her lip. “I mean, it’s just…you’re hurt…and I can protect myself fine anyways…”

“Come here.”

Rey’s eyes glanced up from her work and she saw the hard set of his jaw, the hardness in his eyes, and she feared she had angered him. _You’ve angered your Alpha._

Fear must have been written all over her face because his gaze softened and he held out his hand.

“Rey. Please.”

She stood and took his hand, allowing him to pull her close onto the bed with him. He did not stop pulling until she was in his lap, where she sat carefully, not wanting to brush against his bandages.

He brushed the hair from her shoulder, revealing her mating mark. He kissed it, and she shivered. Even though she scolded herself for feeling desire, she could not help the tingle that ran up and down her spine when he touched her.

He pressed a soft kiss to her jaw before letting his lips hover by her ear.

“I am _your_ Alpha, Rey. And you are _my_ Omega. I will always protect you, even with my last breath.” He kissed her mating mark once more. “Do you understand me?”

Rey nodded, her eyes closed as want and need coursed through her. It felt good to submit to the man she loved, who loved her so fiercely. She felt safe. “Yes, Alpha.”

A sigh went through Kylo, but his arms tightened around her.

“Listen to me,” he said slowly. “I want us to be together. I want to make love to you, but my body isn’t ready.”

He paused, and Rey nodded her agreement. Although his scar was now bright pink and healing, the tender skin would be ripped to shreds if he attempted such an activity.

“I know you need it,” he continued, his lower hand stroking Rey’s stomach. “I know you need to be close again. So if we are careful, we can at least be close. But you must do exactly as I tell you.”

Rey swallowed. Kylo was right—After the scare, her body wanted her to make love with her mate again, to be assured of his vitality and strength once more. But she also knew that Kylo was fearless and self-sacrificing. She would not let him injure himself further just to sate her.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Kylo, you’re not ready. Your body isn’t healed, and I won’t let you hurt yourself—”

Kylo’s arms crushed her to himself, interrupting her protests.

“Rey.” He snapped. “I will take care of my Omega. Just listen to me, and I will show you that I will be careful.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, further warnings on her tongue. But there was something in his voice—almost like he needed to prove something to both of them.

When he saw that she was quiet, he kissed her lips and gave her a small push off his lap. He then laid down and motioned that she straddle him. He pulled her down for a long, heated kiss—as if he had longed to taste her. She kissed him and sighed his name into his lips. Oh how good it felt to be with him.

“Help me remove my pants,” he said finally, and she obeyed, her body humming with satisfaction. She glanced at him furtively beneath her lashes as she removed her clothes as well before kneeling by the bed.

“Good girl,” Kylo whispered, just for her. “Now position your pretty little cunt over my mouth. I need to taste such a good girl.”

Rey whimpered with desire as she understood his plan. They could both satisfy each other with their mouths, and Kylo would not feel as exhausted by the end.

She positioned herself as she was told, coming face to face with his hard, thick cock. The large head was leaking profusely onto his tight stomach, and she felt her own slick begin to trickle down her folds as she prepared herself.

Kylo gave her no warning, he merely grabbed her hips, pulled her down, and licked a long stripe up her. She keened and gasped as her nails dug into his meaty thighs. Oh gods, that felt amazing.

He did it again. And again. Each time he did Rey moaned, content to simply be and enjoy the moment. But then she remembered his weeping cock right before her, pink and beautifully thick. She took him into her mouth and felt him pause. She gave a nice, hard suck to the head of his cock and smiled as he groaned.

“Rey, do that again,” he ordered in a weak voice, and Rey preened. Her Alpha was pleased. He felt good, as she did. She sucked again before running her tongue over the tip and along the underside, where he was most sensitive.

He hissed with pleasure as she ran her tongue along him, and she was startled to feel his warm tongue along her folds once more. She felt good, warm and safe in their home as she felt pleasure and gave it to the one person in the world she loved the most. Perhaps it was not mating, but it was good.

Kylo began an attack on her just as she had figured out a plan for him. She moaned as she took him deeply, her tongue sliding down to the base of his abnormally large and thick cock. He sucked on her clit and blew on it, causing her to almost lose her balance as her knees went weak. She felt him slide two fingers into her—she took them easily as her cunt clenched around them, wishing for his cock. She felt his pleasure and heard it as she sucked and took him all the way again and again—the head of his perfect cock touching her throat once more.

As Kylo licked and sucked his way around her clit, she cruelly felt him pull away. Pausing, she looked behind herself at him with pleading eyes.

“You look so perfect right now,” Kylo said, his voice a little hoarse as his lips gleamed with her slick. “Perfect and ready for me.”

Rey panted and thrust herself back onto his fingers. “Please, Kylo, I want to come.”

“Ask me nicely, starlight.”

She bit her lip, their eyes locking. He needed this, he needed her in order to feel whole and strong again. She felt powerful, knowing she could grant him this.

“Please, Alpha. Please make me come. I need you so badly.”

He growled with satisfaction before attacking her clit with his plush, perfect lips. Rey sucked in a breath before going at his cock with vigor, pumping him in her hand as she sucked.

“Good girl,” She heard him mumble, his mouth full of her. “Come for me.”

He sucked and she keened again, louder this time even with her mouth full of his cock. She came with a burst of light behind her eyes as pleasure ran up and down her body. As she began to wind down she felt him begin to pulse in her mouth and suddenly her mouth was full of cum. She heard him cry out, squeezing the swell of her ass as he came into her waiting mouth.

“Don’t swallow yet…” He said. She turned to look at him and wordlessly came to kneel beside him.

“Tongue out,” he said gently. Carefully, so she wouldn’t spill a drop, she unfurled her tongue before him. She blushed, knowing how she must look: flushed and bare, her tongue cradling his white, silky cum. Only for him would she ever do this. Only for him would it ever feel good to do this.

Kylo sucked in a breath. “What a good girl. You’re perfect, starlight. Now swallow.”

They locked eyes, and she swallowed down the warm, balmy cum. Kylo leaned forward and captured her lips with his and they tasted each other. Rey climbed onto the mattress beside Kylo and he spooned her lovingly.

“I love you so much, Rey,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she murmured. She waited, listening to his breathing even out as he fell asleep. Sleepily, she turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around him before falling asleep in his embrace.

The next day she left him to get more water from the river. Leia had been getting them water, but Rey knew that the better he got, the more he would notice.

It was early morning and she was able to slip away from her mate, leaving him sleeping peacefully, curled around the spot she used to lay. His dark hair fell into his eyes, and Rey glanced at his wound. It was healing nicely.

She found herself alone at the river, which was nice. She wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries. All she could think about was Kylo, and getting back to him with the fresh water. Maybe if she warmed it by the fire she could dab some on his healing wound to clean it before changing his dressing.

“Rey.”

Rey turned quickly, startled by the familiar voice. Leia stood before her, blocking the path back to the village.

Rey turned back to her water jug, cheeks warming. She didn’t want to be rude, but she felt worse now about meeting with Leia than ever.

“Thank you for getting us water, but I can manage it,” Rey said politely, avoiding Leia’s piercing brown gaze.

Leia frowned.

“Did you tell him, Rey?”

Rey’s cheeks burned.

“No,” she said shortly, glancing up at Leia. “And it has to stop.”

Leia grimaced. “I understand,” she said. “But perhaps, if you told him…he’d listen to you.”

Rey shook her head and pushed past Leia to return to the path. She was too afraid, too afraid of losing him. She couldn’t tell him, he’d be so betrayed. Maybe he’d even leave her.

“He can never know,” Rey said fervently, turning her back to the path. “If he knew…” she didn’t continue. She wasn’t sure what he would do. All she could feel was the crushing fear of abandonment. _Don’t leave me…_

“Never know what?”

The deep voice, the same voice that had caressed and commanded her just last night came from behind her. For the second time that day, Rey whirled around to see a Solo behind her.

Kylo.

He was frowning, limping and holding his side. Rey froze, stricken, before she rushed towards him.

“What are you doing out of bed?” She hissed. “You’ll tear those wounds right open—”

“What are you doing, talking to her for?”

Rey wanted to lie. One came onto her tongue. _Just asking for medicine._ But it tasted sour, false. She let go of Ben’s arm and lowered her eyes, but not quickly enough not to see Leia’s understanding look.

Leia tried to cover for her. “She’s just—”

Rey shook her head, halting the older woman’s words. Rey looked up into Kylo’s dark eyes. “I’ve been meeting with her, Kylo.”

Kylo’s brow furrowed and he scanned Rey’s face. She bit her lip, and it all came out in a rush.

“She asked me to meet with her so she could get to know me, and know you, through me, and every time I’ve come here, I’ve spoken to her.” She looked anxiously into Kylo’s hard gaze. “I’m sorry.”

She reached for him, but he pulled back sharply. His gaze was black, shattered pieces of glass. “You’ve been lying to me, Rey?”

A tear slipped down her cheek. “Kylo, I—”

Kylo turned his gaze away from her to look at his mother, who looked small and grey, not stately like she usually did.

“And you, you convinced her to do this?” he hissed. “I should have known.”

Leia opened her mouth. “Ben, please,” she said, but he shook his head brusquely. Rey touched his arm and again, he whipped it away from her.

“Don’t touch me,” he barked.

Rey froze. Gone was her alpha, the man who loved and cared for her unlike any other. Gone was the gentle man who had seen her through her first heat and who had dove between her and a bear.

Gone.

Rey felt like she crumpled into herself, her heart aching. Her arms went around her body as she tried to hold herself together.

Kylo grabbed his head and shook it, as if trying to dispel thoughts from his mind. Then he gave a roar, kicking the water pot between him and Rey, breaking it into shards. Water and bits of paint speckled Rey’s bare legs.

Kylo turned away from her and strode away, not back towards the village, but into the woods. She wanted to go after him, demand him to come back and let her explain, but she was frozen with terror.

Leia slipped an arm around Rey’s shaking shoulders. “Come with me,” she said. “Let’s give him some time to cool off.”

Rey nodded, and let Leia lead her back to the village, to Leia’s home. Leia made her a cup of tea and pushed it into Rey’s hands, which felt heavy and useless. Numb. She barely even registered the heat coming from the ceramic mug.

“He’ll get over it,” Leia was saying, Rey suddenly realized. “He just needs some time. He’s upset, but he will wear himself out.”

“His wounds…” Rey said, distractedly. Would he even want her anymore, she wondered? Suddenly, there was a crash outside.

Leia looked towards the door. “He’s tough,” Leia continued, wandering towards the door. “Even if he breaks them open, we can just put more poultice on it…”

There was another crash.

Suddenly Rose appeared at the doorway, pushing aside the heavy woven blanket, forcing the sunlight to stream in, blinding Rey.

“Rey! Come quick, Kylo—”

Kylo?

Another crash, and a scream.

Kylo!

Rey ran past Rose, cutting her off. What was wrong with Kylo? Had he come back for her? She ran outside, looking around. People were outside their huts, clutching each other and staring towards the end of the village. Even from here, Rey could hear the familiar shout of her mate, even if she couldn’t make out what he was saying. She pushed past all the people to the front of the small crowd.

In front of her stood their hut, or what remained of it. Kylo was currently punching the dirt walls in from the outside, cursing every time he did it. Rey stood in shock watching him tear pieces of their home from the curved walls, watched him fling their pots and furs. His bandages were falling off, and Rey could see the fresh blood rushing from the torn wounds. She must have stood there for a full minute before her body processed what was going on.

She lurched forward and grabbed onto Kylo’s thick arm, which was currently hitting the outer wall of their hut again and again. He startled at her touch, jerking away from her and raising his hand as if to strike her.

“Stop it!” She screamed, putting her hands on his chest and pushing him back a few steps. “Stop it, stop it!”

Tears streamed down her face and she knew it, but she didn’t care. Kylo’s arm, the one that wasn’t still healing, lowered.

“Rey,” he breathed. He moved forward, raising his hand to touch her cheek. “You came back.”

Rey swiped his hand away from her and began hitting his broad chest and shoulders.

“How could you do this?” She cried. “Why? Why?”

Her home was ruined. Her things, scattered in the dust. Their precious grain leaked from the broken pots into the dirt, and he had even trampled her flowers in his quest for destruction. Her heart broke at that—her innocent flowers. Why did he do this?

He looked stunned. “I…I thought you left me,” he said simply, as if that explained everything. “You were gone, and I couldn't find you--”

“I went to Leia’s house,” Rey cried, pointing out his mother in the now gaping crowd. “I thought you would want some space!”

Kylo looked at her, then at their home, then back to her. His brow furrowed.

“I thought you left for good,” he said again. “I just…lost control.”

Rey looked at their ruined home before burying her face in her hands and starting to sob.

“You destroyed it,” Rey sobbed. “You destroyed everything.”

Behind her, she heard Rose and Finn begin to shoo away the villagers. But she couldn’t care. She felt so foolish. She had been so worried about him, and so excited when Rose had said his name. She thought he’d come for her. But instead, he had been ruining the first real home Rey had ever had.

“Did you do this because I spoke with your mother?” she cried. “Did you?”

“No, Rey, I swear…I know I was angry at that, but it was just the thought that I had lost you…”

She shook her head. “I don’t care why you did it,” she finally said, rubbing her face of stray tears. “I really don’t. What you’ve done…I cannot forgive.”

“Rey,” he said, his voice breaking. His hands came up to try and reach for her, and she could see them shaking. “Starlight, you have to forgive me. I’ll fix this, I can—”

“I don’t have to do shit!” She snapped. “If I forgive you, that’s MY choice.”

He swallowed, then nodded. Silence fell between them.

“I need some time,” Rey said shakily. Kylo’s head snapped up to meet her eyes, but she refused to look at the deep brown gaze.

“How long?” He asked, his fingers idly curling in.

She bit her lip. “I don’t know. But until I decide—I…I want you to stay away from me.”

Kylo looked as if she had slapped him. “Where—”

“I don’t know,” Rey said. Maybe Rose and Finn would let her stay a day or two. But really, there was only one person she could ask…

Kylo nodded weakly. But then he raised his fist to his heart, his dark eyes boring into hers.

“I’ll make this right, Rey,” he swore. “I promise.”

She didn’t know what to say. So she just shook her head. She couldn’t imagine what he thought he’d do to fix this.

“Goodbye,” she whispered, and turned her back on him, leaving him to retreat back to Rose’s. There, perhaps, she could truly cry it out and then re-group.

“For now,” she heard him say as she left.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! A wild update appears!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, sorry it's such a shortie. But I'd rather put out a shortie than make y'all wait too long. And hey, twitter told me to. 
> 
> Speaking of, here's my twitter and my CuriousCat in case y'all want to send me sexy (or not sexy) prompts for my collection of drabbles, Sweet Nothings! If y'all have a Dom!Kylo kink, you're in luck cuz the last two chapters have been nothing but that.
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/1chibirini  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/1chibirini
> 
> Ok, I'm done with the shameless self promotion. However I'd also like to give a shoutout to ohwise1ne for literally being the sweetest, and for helping inspire me to eventually finish this fic. Go check her out, she's an amazing writer and person.

She slept at Rose’s that night, who had welcomed her in graciously. But Rey knew she couldn’t stay with her long. It was awkward, third wheeling a mated couple, even if they were as nice as Finn and Rose.

So the next day, Rey paid a visit to Leia who had returned from her herb gathering trip. She had not spoken to Leia after she had seen what Kylo had done. She had been too angry, too hurt.

Rey expected Leia to be a little offended by this. Instead, she found nothing but sympathy.

“Rey,” she said, enfolding the girl into her arms. She was shorter than Rey thought, but her touch was warm. “I’m so sorry.”

Rey shrugged and slipped from Leia’s grasp. She felt awkward and uncomfortably vulnerable. “It’s not your fault.”

Leia sighed. “I can’t help but think it is,” she said. “I’m the one who made you talk to me, so—”

“Kylo didn’t have to destroy our home,” Rey said, a little tightly. “That was his choice.”

Leia’s brows lifted in surprise, but then she nodded.

“Yes…I see.” She smiled a little. “You are quite the woman, Rey.”

Rey shrugged and didn’t even ask her to elaborate. She wasn’t in the mood. Depression had settled deep into her bones, urged her to find a place to lick her wounds. Which was why she was here.

“Listen,” she began. “I know it would be an inconvenience to you, but I don’t really have anywhere else to go…is there any chance I could stay with you?”

Leia’s face lit up. “Of course you can! I already have an extra cot. It’s not as comfortable as a mattress, but…”

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Rey said firmly, and Leia looked uncomfortable.

“I just meant that I’m sorry it’s not as good as home,” Leia hurriedly said. Rey shrugged.

“I don’t have one of those anymore,” She said simply. “But I promise it’s only temporary…I plan on building my own hut. And I’ll help out with anything you need.”

Leia waved her hands. “Kind, but not necessary. Stay as long as you need.”

Rey smiled a little, nodding. “Thank you.”

Leia smiled back. “But…you do realize that Kylo will not be far, yes?”

Rey frowned and cocked her head to the side. “What?”

Leia stood and beckoned Rey towards the back window to point at the remains of her and Kylo’s home.

“He’s rebuilding it, sleeping there on the grass at night.”

Rey’s eyes widened. But then her hurt and pain came crashing back, squashing the small seedling of hope that had temporarily unfurled in her breast.

“Let him,” she found herself saying. “But I won’t return to him…unless…”

She couldn’t finish. She didn’t know what she was waiting for.

Leia seemed to sense this, and placed a comforting hand on Rey’s shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. Why don’t you come get settled in while I get us some tea?”

Rey nodded and Leia directed her to a small cot in the corner beneath a wooden shelf, hand carved.

“Han gave that to me as a wedding gift,” Leia said, catching Rey staring at it. “Made it himself.”

Rey nodded and began unpacking. But before long her little bag of belongings she had taken from the wreckage was empty, and she found herself sitting on the cot with listless hands. She swallowed hard, trying to will away the lump there. She found her gaze straying to the window. But each look hurt, so finally she made herself stop.

~

Life went on. Leia was kind to Rey, including and welcoming her into her life. Together they gathered herbs, hunted, collected water. Leia taught Rey how to sew, and together they sewed Rey three new tunics—one for now, and two for winter.

Leia didn’t push Rey to talk about Kylo. And Rey appreciated that. Because she honestly didn’t know what to say. She loved him, but she hated what he did. He didn’t dare approach her but she felt his eyes on her every time she went outside, his heated gaze following her as he slowly rebuilt their hut.

She missed him terribly. She missed being held at night, missed his touch and kiss and caress. She hadn’t realized how much he touched her, loved her, until it was gone. She felt the absence of every touch.

Dreams at night were the worst—it was always either heated and close, or destruction and anger. She woke with tears on her cheeks more than she could count. If Leia ever noticed Rey scrubbing her face in the basin each morning, she never said anything about it.

Rose came over frequently to both see Rey and learn from Leia. Rey often accompanied Leia and Rose on their trips around the village to those who were sick or injured. She became practiced at wrapping wounds, feeling for fevers, brewing tea. She felt like a stronger, smarter person because of it, and loved getting to know all the villagers. They came to greet her every morning at the river, waving at her as she passed through the village. It made her feel less alone and like she was a part of something bigger.

But it could only last so long.

She thought about her feeble plans to build her own hut, but couldn’t find it in herself to begin. It seemed too big a task. But she also didn’t want to sit around, waiting for Kylo to finish his hut so he could come and try to sweep her off her feet. She considered going back to her cave, but something in her told her no. She and Kylo were mated; they had done so in that very cave. She heard tales about those who were separated from their mates—and how they went crazy. She wondered if that would happen to her.

Kylo kept his distance. He didn’t try to talk to her, but sometimes she could catch the wind blowing the right way and taste the longing in his scent. He did little else than clear the wreckage of their home and begin building his hut in the hot summer. He hunted a little, but not much. Rey wondered why. Even if he had smashed their pots, the salted and smoked deer and bear meat would still be good. But she spotted him sometimes, coming out of the forest with a freshly dead rabbit. It puzzled her.

One morning Rey went to wash in the river. It was early, much like that fateful morning that Ben had discovered Leia and her talking. As Rey washed herself, she wondered what Kylo thought of her now that she lived with Leia. Shaking her hair, scattering the water droplets that clung to her, she tried to erase the thought from her mind. Why would she care what Kylo thought?

Rey finished washing and put on fresh clothes that she had made herself since coming to live with Leia. Now that summer was fully upon them and Rey’s clothes were old, Leia had gifted her some cloth and helped her make a tunic and a pair of leggings. Rey of course kept her old clothes as well as the new. Waste not, want not.

With her freshly cleaned body and new clothes, she felt a little better. She had just felt so heavy and sad since that day had happened. But maybe, just maybe, it would start to lift, she thought. Her thoughts were a little hopeful. Or well, they were until she ran into Kylo.

There was one path from the village to the river. She should of known she’d run into him at some point—the village was small. But she was alone, and so was he.

He was walking up the path with a yoke across his bare shoulders, an empty bucket hanging off each end. He wore no tunic, only leggings. For a moment, Rey was taken aback by the sight of her mate. He was beautiful in the morning sun. The light filtering through the trees made patterns on his light chest, making his skin glow. His wound was pick and jagged, but healing again. His dark hair was shiny with sweat. And suddenly, without warning, Rey wanted him.

If her sudden change in pheromones wasn’t a huge indicator, he noticed her moving and paused awkwardly. They stared at each other for a too long moment.

“Rey,” Kylo said, his lips parted as if he was going to say something else, but didn’t.

Rey felt a flush crawl up her neck. Something unpleasantly omega inside her was pleased he had seen her, clean and dressed in her new clothes. But Rey pushed down those stupid, biological urges and thoughts. She would not be a slave to her omega.

So Rey gave him a curt nod and pressed her lips together, intent on moving past him. But he reached out for her, gently catching her by the arm.

“Wait,” he said when she quickly escaped his grasp. It had burned, truly. Like every cell he touched ached. “Please, wait. I need to tell you something.”

Rey frowned at him. “I told you I wanted some space.”

Kylo looked down, his hair falling into his eyes. He licked his lips nervously.

“I know, and I’ve…I’ve been trying, Rey, truly.”

“Try harder,” she said, remembering his ripped, bleeding wound and the fur blanket she had made, torn in two.

He flinched, his eyes dark empty holes.

“I wanted to just say I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rey said tightly, carefully. “I shouldn’t have lied to you about seeing your mother. But you had…you had no right…”

The sadness Kylo felt was palpable, thick in the air, and Rey looked away.

“I said I was sorry.”

Rey took a deep breath. “It’s not good enough, Kylo.”

“Well, if you hadn’t been talking to Leia, this never would have happened!”

That stung. He looked instantly regretful, and Rey found her eyes filling with tears. In a way, he was right. Just like he never would have gotten hurt by that bear if she hadn’t been there.

The silence was thick, and Rey hugged her arms to her chest. She craved his touch. He was so close, but so far. It felt like her heart was breaking all over again. Did he even still want her?

“Are you sorry that we are mated?” Kylo suddenly asked, and Rey’s eyes shot to his, her brow wrinkled.

“How could you say that?” She said, a little thickly. Just because he had made a mistake didn’t mean she didn’t still love him, want him, need him. But she couldn’t say that. He wouldn’t understand that she still needed space to think everything through.

“Answer the question, Rey,” Kylo replied, but the order was overshadowed completely by the desperation in his dark eyes.

Rey turned to Kylo completely. “I don’t,” she said shortly, leaving it at that.

“Then I will keep hoping,” he said. “My mother once said that life was built on hope. I think I finally know what she means.”

She nodded and turned slightly away from him, feeling so small and vulnerable. Exposed.

Very softly, she heard him speak as she began to walk away.

“I love you, Rey.”

~

Rey felt completely torn. She loved Kylo, but she was afraid of his anger. How could they bring a child into this world if he was content to rip their home into pieces at the first sign of abandonment? Rey was afraid of being left too—She was an outcast, left alone by both her parents. No one had ever loved her, why should Kylo? But she didn’t go about destroying things.

Rey’s inner torment bothered her for the rest of the week. To try and distract herself from the present conflict on her mind, at night she asked Leia to tell her tales of Kylo as a child. Leia spoke of a sweet, shy child who grew fast and angered easily. She told Rey stories about how a young Ben had idolized her and adored his father, who was always in and out due to a job or a fight he and Leia had. But as Ben had grown, the adoration and love had faded into bitterness. He was always angry, and Leia and Han stopped fighting in order to unite to help their splintering son. But it was a little too late. They had sent him to an uncle, Leia’s brother Luke. He had a small school for troubled boys. But then, something had happened.

“I won’t speak of it,” Leia said firmly. “It’s really not for me to tell.”

Rey worried her lip between her teeth as she fed a small log to their dying fire.

“But what could have happened that broke Kylo so much that he would go to Snoke?” She asked. “He was so unhappy there…”

Leia was strangely silent, and when Rey glanced up she saw tears glimmering in the older woman’s eyes, the firelight dancing in her large, liquid brown eyes.

“Please, Leia,” Rey said. “I need to know why Kylo is the way he is now. Why he is…Kylo. Not Ben.”

For a moment, Leia seemed to waver. Her lips parted, but then all that came out was a sigh.

“You should ask Kylo,” Leia said, and that was all she would ever say.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: https://twitter.com/1chibirini  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/1chibirini
> 
> Thanks to the lovely 5cents for betaing this chapter for me. She's an angel go check out her works!! https://archiveofourown.org/users/5cents/pseuds/5cents

Rey often sat alone whenever she had free time. She sat with her knees tucked up and her arms around them as the summer breeze rustled her hair, looking down from her perch on a hill to the busy village below. She could see the small outline of Kylo, who had just begun building the mud walls for the new hut. She forced her gaze elsewhere and stared at all the women gathered at the river. She remembered what it was like to be one of them, carefree and happy with her mate waiting for her at home. Remembering made her feel very, very lonely.

A single tear swelled in her left eye and fell onto her cheek. She swiped it away angrily.

“I never should have met with Leia,” she sighed. “If only…”

Rey remembered Kylo’s deep voice, clear as a bell in her mind.  _You’re not alone. Never again._  The glistening red mark he had left on the wall of her old cave, to signify the end of her loneliness.

Well, he had been wrong.

She rested her head against her legs and tried not to sob and cry out for her mate. The loneliness was so strange yet so familiar. Like visiting a place you’d only dreamed about.

The wind whipped Rey’s hair from the leather tie and it stung as it hit her eyes. She ducked her head down more to shield it from the warm but strong wind. Miserably, she let herself wallow in a few dark thoughts.

_Maybe I should just leave. There’s not much left for me here. I’m a burden on Leia._

But how many times had Leia told her what a joy it was to have her? Would Leia lie?

_Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore. Omegas are just supposed to obey and submit. I defied him._

But Kylo wasn’t like that. He loved her fiercely. Right?

_He promised me I’d never be alone. He lied._

But wasn’t this exile something Rey imposed herself?

How would it end?

Rey sighed, her heart so heavy that her chest ached. She peeked at Kylo again, and thought of her mate for a moment. How lovely he was, with his expressive eyes and dark, wavy hair. How gentle he was with his touch.

_I love you, Rey._

She shivered as the sun beat down on her skin.

~

She awoke one morning not too many days later feeling achy and irritable. She began to worry that she was getting sick—maybe exposure to one of Leia’s patients? But then she went to pee and realized there was a strange amount of slickness between her legs.

Feeling troubled, she went back to bed. Leia was already up and outside, grinding corn in the sun on a mortar.

She tossed and turned. It felt like her heat was starting. She couldn’t get comfortable—she felt overheated and cross. But surely it wasn’t time for that yet, it had only been two months or so.

“Leia?” she called out. “I think—I think my heat’s starting.”

Leia came in, frowning, and held a hand to Rey’s forehead.

“You are flushed,” she said. “If it’s truly started, then it’s too late for herbs.”

“It shouldn’t be so soon,” Rey managed. She ran her trembling hands down her stomach. Why was this happening? Why now?

“If you had your first heat just two months ago, then this is normal. It takes a while for your heats to find a pattern of normalcy.”

Rey shook her head. “It can’t happen now. It can’t, I mean—”

“I know,” Leia said gently. “Do you want me to tell him?”

Rey sat up in her little bunk. “No! I don’t want him to know.”

Leia looked sympathetic. “He’s going to find out when he catches your scent,” she said.

Shit. Rey hated her stupid biology more than anything.

“Can you…can you go get him then? I’ll tell him myself.”

Leia raised her eyebrows, but just nodded before ducking out the door. Rey curled her arms around her legs and waited.

He came in with a smell so sweet, so mouthwateringly deep and delectable that Rey found herself lurching forward a bit just to be closer. But she caught herself and recurled into the ball she had been before.

Kylo’s eyes were narrowed, his brows furrowed in worry. They hadn’t spoken in for so long, so it wasn’t surprising that he was concerned.

“Rey? What’s-“ He stopped dead in his tracks a few steps in. He clearly smelled her. His eyes fluttered closed slowly, then reopened.

“I’m going into heat,” she said bluntly.

He nodded slowly, and she saw how hopeful he looked. She looked away.

“What can I do, Rey?” He asked carefully. She trembled and swallowed dryly. He smelled so good, looked so strong. He was her mate, her love. He loved her, wanted her. She could see how he yearned for her.

But she also remembered him ripping apart their home. The flowers trampled into the dust. Her things, thrown about and the pots of their food broken to bits, the pottery mixing with the valued fare.

“Nothing,” she found herself saying in a strange voice. “I don’t want you to do anything.”

“Rey,” he said, his voice desperate. She couldn’t look at him.

“I mean it,” she said. “I’d rather do this on my own right now.”

He dropped to his knees, forcing her eyes to snap to him. He looked broken.

“Please Rey,” he murmured. “My love, my starlight, please don’t do this.”

Her voice broke on the words: “I have to.” She couldn’t trust him. And he couldn't trust her. He had broken the only home she had ever had, the only security she held in the world. And she had done the same to him.

He buried his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Rey. I know what I did…it was wrong. But you’ll be in pain, and I can’t bear it—”

“You bore it once,” she said sharply. “You’ll do it again.”

He looked at her, so wrecked, so far from the man she knew. “Rey…”

“Go now,” she said, tears welling up. She began to cry. “I just wanted you to know.”

Rey knew it must have taken every inch of Kylo’s self control to fight against his instincts to comfort her. He slowly picked himself up and left, his shoulders slumped and his dark hair falling to cover his eyes. As soon as he was gone, Leia came in and sat down, bringing in welcome fresh air.

“I know that was hard,” she said quietly. “But what comes next will be even harder.”

“I know,” Rey said listlessly, scratching idly at her swollen scent gland. Her fingers grazed Kylo’s mark, and she missed him all the more. It would be worse to be separated as a mated pair. Her body knew she had a mate, and would frantically call for him. Rey just hoped he would stay away. She didn’t think she could be as strong in her convictions during the height of her heat.

“I’ll do what I can for you,” Leia said.

“Thank you,” Rey said quietly.

~

She burned. Her skin burned, her loins burned, her glands burned. She was being swallowed alive, and no water could cool her.

Leia tried suggesting taking her to the river, but Rey refused. She wouldn’t do that to Kylo, spreading her scent like that, and she wouldn’t show anyone else her pain. Only Leia.

So Leia dabbed her skin with water from a basin and gave her sips of cool liquids. She even made the tea cool before she gave it to Rey. The herbs helped a little, mostly made her fall into long periods of restless sleep. A few days passed like that, with Leia nursing her and the tea causing Rey to sleep through most of the day. But it became less and less helpful.

Rey was truly miserable. She couldn’t even enjoy the way Leia was treating her so sweetly, like she was nursing her own daughter. Rey only thought of him.

Sometimes it was just his body. His thick cock and knot, how good it felt to be knotted and stretched. But that quickly delved into the security she had felt with him—and how loved he had made her feel. All of it, gone. Yes, he still loved her. And yes, she still loved him. But she didn’t trust him not to hurt her. Not anymore.

She wept for his arms around her. She craved his kiss, could taste his sweat on her tongue. She yearned to hear his words of praise and love. She thrashed in her bed, her teeth grinding together to keep from calling his name. Her heat would rise and swell, then wane for a moment long enough to let her catch her breath. But always it would rise again.

It was on the fourth day that Rey truly could not take it. The heat was too much—in the air, on her skin. Leia threw the basin of water over her but still Rey could not take it. No relief. Her insides pulsed with tightness and incredible warmth. She ached.

Finally, she grabbed Leia’s arm, her nails biting into the flesh. “Go get him,” she panted. “I can’t take it. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

Leia frowned and held Rey’s hand in her own. “Are you sure Rey? You were so certain…”

Rey squeezed Leia’s hand. “I can’t take it Leia,” she said. “I think it’s killing me. I’m being burned alive.”

“Alright, alright,” Leia said, and stepped outside. But miraculously, as soon as she did, it seemed like Kylo appeared. But that must have just been the heat playing tricks on her.

Through the haze of pain, heat, and tears, Rey saw him kneel by the bed and take her hand. Somehow, it was worse, having him so near with his delicious smell.

“I’m here, Rey.”

She whimpered, a primal sound. She no longer felt like herself. She was Rey, the animal.

“I need you,” she panted. “Now.”

“Rey,” he said. “You told me—”

“I can’t take it, Kylo,” Rey said. “I need this pain to stop, please. Make it stop.”

He trembled there silently for a moment, clearly torn. But then he shuddered and brought her hand to his lips.

“Of course, love.”

Rey closed her eyes and when she opened them his clothes were off. He was glorious in the dim light, his skin having gotten some color from working in the sun. His erection stood proud and ready against his taut stomach. The tip glistened with precum.

Rey pushed up her shift dress and panted as she turned onto her stomach.

“Rey—”

She knew he’d protest. Even in rut, he preferred to be able to see her face. But she wasn’t having it.

“Do it, Kylo,” she begged. “Now.”

She spread her legs and buried her face into her pillow as she felt him fumble onto the small cot. He pressed against her and she hissed.

“You’re too tight,” Kylo said incredulously. “You have to relax so I don’t hurt you.”

“You’re hurting me by not doing it!” Rey said, and Kylo swore.

She felt him lay down almost on top of her without putting his weight on her completely. He kissed just below her ear and licked a long stripe up and down her scent glands, which sang beneath his ministration.

“Relax, Rey. I’m here. I’m going to make the pain stop.”

Rey cursed biology once more as she felt his hands running down her body, willing her to relax. And she hated herself when she did. She deserved it to be painful. He deserved to suffer too. She had gone back on her word and so had he.

She must have loosened up enough for him, because he repositioned himself at her slippery, swollen entrance and pushed inside. She gasped not once but twice as he entered her, feeling each bit of muscle stretch. It felt like the worst and best thing to ever happen to her.

“Oh gods, you’re so tight, starlight. Even tighter than you were before—How is this even possible?”

Rey let out a sob of relief into her pillow and felt him kiss her neck in consolation as he began to move.

“You feel so good,” he murmured. “I love you so much, Rey. I’m so glad to take the pain away.”

And it was going away. Rey could feel her body stilling, slowing as the pleasure mounted and as he came closer to knotting her. He snapped his hips to hers suddenly and she shrieked.

“Kylo!” She moaned, and encouraged, he did it again. He set the pace to brutalizing fast and hard then, which was just what she needed. She came once, her muscles contracting and pleasure washing over her.

“Good girl,” he grunted, and she felt him slow to stave off his own orgasm. She screeched in anger.

“I need your knot!” She hissed. “Give it to me, god damnit!”

“You need to come again,” Kylo said, moving his hips a little faster once more. “You’re still too stiff—too tight—”

“Ah, Kylo!” Rey cried out as he began to touch her clit. One, two swirls and then she was gone. He yelled out her name and slammed into her once, twice, three times and then he too was gone, his knot swelling and pulsing. He bit down on her gland, and she squealed.

It locked them together and Rey felt the immediate effects of his cum on her insides. Her heart rate slowed, the heat in her skin left. She felt calmer, satisfied, safe. She frowned at that. That was wrong. She wasn’t safe; not with him. Not anymore.

He curled around her, his large body a warm blanket. But Rey felt miserable again, this time in a different way.

Guilt and fear trickled into her. Why had she done this? Why hadn’t she been strong enough? Why had she been so weak as to let him in again? She began to panic—what if she was stuck with him forever, doomed because of a biological connection? Stuck with a man she no longer trusted, a man who destroyed what they had held. Who could easily do it again.

A man she loved, but hated. A man who she now came to fear.

She began to cry. To his credit, Kylo did not hush her, he only held her in his arms as she cried.

How could she have been so weak? It was just one heat. She should have done it alone, showed him how she was the one in control.

But she hadn’t.

“Rey…” he said lowly. “It’s alright. You weren’t yourself.”

Still, he knew just what to say.

“Why did I do it?” she cried into his strong, thick arm, suddenly seized by guilt. Was this all her fault? “Why did I talk to Leia?” 

"Stop, Rey," he said, his voice tight. He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “Go to sleep now,” he urged.

She was tired. So, so tired, like she had just run and run without stopping for so long. She had been fighting her body for so long. Her lids began to drop. But the thoughts still wormed about in her mind.

 

"I'm scared," she whispered, feeling delirious. "Kylo..." 

 

"Go to sleep," he said, a true Alpha order. She slipped under the darkness of her lids.

She woke as he slipped from her body, her instincts warning her that her mate was leaving.

Sleepily, she reached for him. He came close again and kissed her, softly.

“Go back to sleep,” he said softly, his voice heavy with command again. She touched his arm just as it slid out of her grasp. She felt her eyelids droop again, this time almost against their will…

This time when she awoke she was alone. Well, Leia was sitting across the hut, knitting. But the bed was empty beside Rey, and Kylo’s scent was almost gone. He had even replaced the blanket with a new one.

“Is it over?” Rey asked blearily. Leia gave her a small smile.

“Not quite yet. I’d say you’ve got one more day of feeling poorly before you can truly get back on your feet.”

Rey swallowed dryly and Leia got her a glass of water without her even needing to ask for it.

“Thank you,” Rey said quietly. “For everything. I know it must be a burden—”

“Hush,” Leia said strictly. “It is no burden. You know you are always welcome here. You’re family.”

Rey felt a lump in her throat and tried to ignore it. She didn’t know what else to say. She wanted a family with Kylo and Leia. Would she ever get it now?

“Don’t worry so much,” Leia assured her. “Just rest.”

 

Rey laid back onto the mattress, warm and conflicted. She wondered where Kylo was, how he was dealing with the rut she knew she must have triggered. 

 

She swallowed dryly and closed her eyes, wanting to banish all thought from her mind. Wanting to escape.

 

"Leia..." she said quietly. "I need some tea."

 

Leia came over and frowned down at her. 

 

"You've been sleeping for a while..."

 

Rey pressed her lips firmly together and grabbed Leia's arm. She had to escape. She just had to.

 

"Leia," she said. "Please."

 

Leia looked upset for a moment before tenderness replaced it. 

 

"Alright," she said soothingly. "Alright."

 

And soon enough, Rey slipped into the void again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment "a heat? right here in front of my salad?" if you somehow managed to get all the way through


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been two weeks, and sorry this one's a shortie. But the next chapter will be long, so I don't feel so bad! Hope you all enjoy, and thank you for your comments! They encourage me so much.
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/1chibirini  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/1chibirini

To his credit, Kylo did not let one instance of heat sex go to his brain, and continued to give Rey space. And she appreciated that. A lot.

Leia had offered to gather the herb needed for the contraceptive tea, but Rey had refused. She and Kylo had wanted a child so badly, it felt wrong to drink that. But this…this was not the time to bring a child into the world. So although she did not drink the tea, she hoped no child resulted from it.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Kylo after that day. Before, she was able to ignore him, digging into her seed of anger and fear to just shut him out. But she remembered how gentle he was, and how he had respected her even at her lowest point. How he had comforted and understood her when she cried afterward.

All in all, she just missed him.

At night, she curled into her cot, sniffing deep into the linen to catch a bit of his scent. After her heat, she had plucked the blanket he had lain on while in her bed and slept with it for a few nights.

She felt a little bit pathetic, and a lot like a girl with a crush. But she couldn’t help it. She and Kylo were biologically suited and physically mated. Even deeper than that, she still loved him with all her heart. She just didn’t have a lot of trust. But...that wasn’t just his fault.

One day while Rey was slowly grinding herbs for Leia outside the hut, sitting beneath a tree and sneaking glances at Kylo who was finishing up his hut by plastering the walls with clay to make them strong, Rey heard a shout. She looked across the other side of the hut, dropping the pestle into the mortar.

Leia, who had been inside organizing her tinctures, was now outside the hut with her arms crossed, staring at the untamed meadow next to the hut. Rey was startled to see a man riding a horse at full speed straight through the tall grass. She could practically feel the horse’s hooves thundering down onto the ground.

She sucked in a breath and felt a sudden sense of urgency. She looked over the way to Kylo, who had stopped his work on his hut and was staring at the man with a strange look on his face—a look Rey had never seen before.

Rey walked up behind Leia and touched her crossed arm. “Who is that? Why is he—”

“That’s my husband,” Leia said, almost crossly. “Making a fool out of himself, as always.”

The man was much closer now, and as he broke through the meadow’s edge Rey took a step back. But Leia didn’t move, not an inch. As suddenly as he had appeared, the man reared back the horse and slowed it to a complete halt in front of Leia. The horse, which was brown and rather shaggy with a long mane and tail, stood so close to Leia that Rey could see its breath move her hair.

“Han,” Leia said in that same annoyed voice. “You’re a month late.”

Han, who had tanned skin and brown and grey streaked hair, scoffed. He wore dark pants and a leather vest over a sweat soaked tan shirt. He must have been handsome, Rey realized, in that same rugged way that Kylo was handsome.

“Now, princess, I had to finish the job. What’s the use of coming home if I still have the merchandise?”

Leia rolled her eyes and stepped forward. To Rey’s surprise, Leia kissed the horse’s long nose and patted it’s neck consolingly.

“Did he run you into the ground?” She asked the horse. “Poor Chewie, always having to save Han after a scrape.”

Han frowned and dismounted, not seeming pleased that Leia was sweeter to the horse than she was to him.

“C’mon, honey, won’t you give me a hello kiss?” he tried.

Leia, without looking at him, dryly remarked, “Why? You didn’t give me a goodbye kiss when you left the village in the middle of the night.”

Rey, who was scandalized by this conversation between Kylo’s parents, stood awkwardly by the hut’s door. She looked over to where Kylo had been, and found him disappearing into the woods, headed for the river.

Leia caught sight of her watching him, and quickly threw her a small smile.

“Forgive us, Rey,” she said. “Han and I bicker like an old mated couple.”

“We are an old mated couple,” Han grumbled.

Rey’s eyes grew wide as a simple summer breeze wafted Han’s scent over to her. It was sweat and pine and leather, but it was unmistakably…Alpha.

“You’re both Alphas,” Rey blurted out. “How can you be mated?”

“What’s it to you?” Han asked, staring at Rey unabashedly until Leia caught him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Han, this is Rey,” Leia said, ignoring what both had said. “She’s Kylo’s mate.”

Han’s eyes widened and he looked at Leia. They seemed to have a silent conversation that Rey didn’t understand. She felt awkward watching them. It seemed private. But soon enough, it was broken and Han was extending his hand towards her.

“Han Solo,” he said. “Nice to meet you, Rey.”

Rey nodded shyly and returned the firm handshake. She glanced at the big brown horse and went over and gave it a slow pat.

“I can rub him down, if you want,” she said. “While you two talk.”

Han’s mouth twisted as he looked her up and down.

“I dunno, Chewie’s a finnicky horse. Bites sometimes. You gotta be gentle with him, but show him who’s boss.”

Rey smiled. “I think I can handle it,” she said. In her childhood as an orphan, she had often cared for her clan’s horses. Feeding them, rubbing them down, giving them water and sometimes giving them gentle pats on their noses. She had a special place in her heart for them. They were beautiful and wild and fast. Rey hoped to ride one someday.

“Alright,” Han said after Leia gave him another look Rey could not read. The two of them went into the hut while Rey gathered some water from their pot and fetched a rag. Carefully, she wiped the sweat and dirt from the animal’s coat, watching Chewie’s head so she wouldn’t get bit. But the horse seemed perfectly docile—it chewed on some grass and shuddered happily as Rey ran the rag down it’s skin.

She led it to a shallow pan they kept for washing dishes and filled it with water. The horse drank greedily.

“Thirsty, huh?” She said, stroking Chewie’s neck. Chewie lifted his head from the water and gave a soft whinny.

Right by the wash pan was a window, which Leia and Rey left open for the breeze. Through it, Rey heard Han’s gruff voice and Leia’s serious one.

“How did he find her?” Han asked. “Did he…did he force her?”

“No,” Leia answered. “She was out searching for herbs to stop her first heat when he found her. She went with him willingly. I’m not too sure on the details, but I think they waited until after her heat to become mated.”

“Where is he now?”

“Just across the path. He’s been building a hut.”

“And they are staying with you?”

Leia sighed, and her voice became heavy.

“No. They were staying in that old hut of his that we helped him build—”

“That small one?”

“Yes. But he ruined it one evening, smashed it to pieces because he thought she’d left him.”

“Jeez…”

“I know. But it’s partially my fault, Han. I convinced Rey to talk to me so I could get to know her in private without Ben knowing. He found out and stormed off, angry that she had been speaking with me. She came here to talk with me and give him some space…and that’s when the misunderstanding happened. He wouldn’t of been so angry if I hadn’t meddled.”

“Now Leia,” Han said, sounding angry. “You know Ben’s always had a temper problem. You didn’t smash that hut. That was his choice. He should have handled it like man instead of being all hot-headed about it.”

“Funny, that’s what Rey said too. That it was Ben’s choice. But I can’t help but feel a bit responsible…”

“Well stop it. It’s not going to fix anything. So the girl is staying with you?”

“For the time being. I don’t know what will happen when Ben finishes that hut. I just…hope they can work it out.”

Han sighed, and Rey felt something wet run down her cheek. She didn’t bother scrubbing it away though, letting it fall instead.

“He has to learn, Leia,” Han said.

“That’s what you said last time,” Leia snapped, her voice surprisingly sharp. “And see where it got us?”

Rey swallowed dryly. Would Leia finally speak the truth of what happened?

“I know,” Han soothed. “I’m sorry. I regret it too. We should of kept him at home.”

“Yes, we should have,” Leia answered, sounding tired. The two of them fell into silence, and Rey took that chance to sneak away from the open window.

She pressed her back against the hut’s rough outer wall and felt suddenly exhausted. She was so _tired._ She wanted to go home. But where was home now?

She knew that answer, in her heart. Her home was wherever Kylo was. Kylo was her home.

It was awkward that night at supper. The three of them ate mostly in silence. Han didn’t know what to say to his son’s mate, and Leia just looked thoughtful. Rey had no idea what one said to her mate’s parents. She had developed a comfortable rhythm with Leia, but with Han she felt wary. She knew how bitter Kylo was about his father, and she had recognized a familiar sharpness in Han’s words when he talked about Kylo as well.

Rey felt self-conscious as she holed up in her little cot for the evening. Usually the silence was comfortable, but Leia and Han murmured to each other for a long time before they fell asleep. Rey felt like a bouncing third wheel, unwelcome. She felt like she was a child too old to be crawling into her parent’s bed.

Rey rolled onto her back with a sigh. She gazed up at the hut’s thatched roof and breathed out slowly. Maybe she should just forgive Kylo and try to move on. He seemed apologetic enough, that’s for sure. But something kept bothering her. She felt uneasy whenever she thought about moving back in with Kylo. His anger had truly, truly frightened her. Yes, Rey herself had a bit of a temper, but the destruction…

She swallowed back tears making a lump in her throat. She suddenly knew why she was so frightened as memory overcame her. Quietly, she rolled onto her stomach in bed and cried into her pillow until she fell into a restless sleep.

~

In the morning, they all ate their breakfast porridge from some of the first harvested oats of the season. It tasted so good to Rey, who had never been offered to share in her village’s harvest. Soon enough, there would be a harvest festival—and Rey, no longer an outcast, could go. She wondered if Kylo would go, if he’d ask her to dance. What would she say if he asked?

Leia’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Rey, I have a favor to ask you.”

Rey cast Leia a puzzled look. The last time Leia asked her for a favor was when she wanted to get to know her.

Leia exchanged a look with Han once she saw Rey’s expression. “I know I have no right, but I thought if anyone could do this, it’d be you.”

Now Rey was really suspicious. It had to have something to do with Kylo.

“What?” She said cautiously. Leia cleared her throat.

“Well…I was…we were hoping you’d ask Ben to dinner.”

Rey must have looked as shocked as she felt, because Han laughed.

“Told you,” he said to Leia. Leia cast him a dirty look.

“Look, you don’t have to kid,” Han said. “But we thought maybe he’d give it a chance if you wanted him here. But if you don’t, we’ll understand.”

Rey felt irritated. She didn’t like this proposition, and she didn’t appreciate how flippantly Han made the subject seem. Of course she wanted Kylo here. She loved him. Leia knew that—didn’t she? Rey felt alone and misunderstood. Did they think she hated him? That she regretted mating with him? It made her feel sick to think of that.

“Fine,” she burst out. “Of course I want him here. I’ll ask him for tonight.”

Leia looked surprised, and so did Han. Rey gathered up her empty dishes and took them to the wash bin. Hopefully that would end the conversation.

But Leia was never one to let sleeping dogs lie. “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable with that?” She asked as Rey poured water from a pot into the bin.

Rey scrubbed her dishes vigorously. “He’s my mate.” She said flatly. “Of course I’ll be comfortable.”

When her dishes were done, Rey went outside and brushed Chewie again. She was eyeing Ben’s hut, trying to work up the gumption for this conversation. What if he said no? What would his parents think?

Chewie nibbled at the hem of her tunic, distracting her from her worries for a moment. She laughed and shooed him away only for him to nudge her cheek with his nose. He really was a sweet horse.

“He’s taking a liking to you,” Han said, suddenly appearing behind her. Rey jumped a little, then nodded shyly.

“I hope you don’t mind that I brushed him,” she said.

“I don’t mind,” Han replied. “I’m just surprised he hasn’t bit you yet. He’s temperamental, only cares about a few people.”

“Just like your son,” Rey said, the thought flying out of her mouth.

Han’s face clouded. He scratched at his bristly cheek and sighed.

“Sometimes it seemed like he never cared about anyone, not even himself,” he said.

Rey glanced up at Han, frowning. “I never…I mean…he always seemed to care. For me, at least.”

Han nodded. “Good,” he said. But his tone made it seem like he didn’t quite believe her. She felt a familiar flash of anger.

“He’s changed,” she said. Han frowned.

“Really? Because it doesn’t sound like his temper has gotten any better.”

Rey felt her own temper flare. “Kylo made a mistake,” she said. “But he’s working to make it better.”

Han stared at her. “Then why won’t you go back to him?” He asked, pure curiosity seeping out through his voice.

Rey swallowed. “I just…I have a hard time trusting people. That’s all.”

Han let out a breath he was holding and took the brush from Rey’s hand. “Well maybe you both can work on something,” he said, nodding towards Kylo’s hut. Kylo was now out in the yard, shirtless and scraping the fat from a deer skin. Rey felt his eyes on her for a moment.

“Yeah,” Rey said awkwardly. “Maybe.”

She turned away from Han and walked towards Kylo. She noticed how he stiffened when he saw her coming before he resumed what he was doing. She came to stand next to where he kneeled, but still he did not stop.

“Nice deer,” Rey tried. Kylo tossed her a look that said he knew she wasn’t here just to remark on the deer skin.

Rey was distracted for a moment by her mate. He was beautiful, shirtless, almost as beautiful as he was when naked. Sweat dripped down his back, making his healthy ivory skin glisten. His hands gleamed with fat, and yet Rey was fascinated, not repulsed. His deft fingers held the bone tool firmly, scraping the hide in long sections.

She hadn’t realized how long the silence had gone on until Kylo finally spoke.

“It’s nice to see you,” he said.

Rey bit her lip. “It’s nice to see you too,” she admitted.

Kylo glanced at her searchingly, almost hopefully.

Rey felt like she was dashing those hopes when she spoke again.

“Will you come to dinner tonight? With your parents?”

Kylo frowned down at the hide he was scraping.

“My mother put you up to this,” he said flatly.

“Yes,” Rey said. She swallowed. “But I do wish you would come. I was hoping, maybe, we could talk?”

Kylo looked at her intently again, but this time his hands stilled. “We are talking right now.”

Rey pressed her lips together. “I mean…I just…” She should have had a better plan than this. “Never mind.”

He looked at his glistening hands, flexing them a bit. Without looking up, he asked; “This is important to you? That I come and talk to my parents?”

Rey sucked in an inhale and nodded. “And me,” she added.

Kylo was silent for a long moment. “Alright,” he finally said.

“Alright?”

He nodded. “I’ll come,” he said. He smiled a little, just a tiny bit. “But only if we eat something you’ve hunted.”

Rey smiled back at her mate, relief flooding through her. “Ok,” she said. “Possum it is.”

He made an expression of disgust, and she laughed. When she focused back on him, he was watching her with that same little smile on his lips. She felt warm inside.

“See you this evening?” She asked, and he nodded. She turned away, but then turned back.

“I really, really appreciate this, Kylo.”

He looked serious now, and nodded. “Only for you,” he replied, and she felt embarrassed. She gave him an awkward wave, and walked back to Leia’s hut.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner party of a century

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for sticking around! Early post because I couldn't wait to get this one out to y'all. I just love these two. I know some of you are a bit salty about how Rey has been acting towards Kylo, but hopefully this clears it up. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! Thanks!
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/1chibirini  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/1chibirini

Rey went hunting, as promised, but found her hand not as steady as it usually was. Eventually she came back with two plump rabbits, which Rey skinned and gave to Leia to cook. Han, who was outside chopping wood for their cooking fire, waved at Rey as she went to the river to wash off the sweat that had gathered on her skin from roaming the forest.

When she returned, Leia let her help carve the braised rabbit into even portions. Rey saw Leia’s hands shake a little as she sat down a platter of cooked greens, and wondered if she was nervous as well. Han seemed much more quiet than usual when he came in to splash some water over his face.

Rey smoothed her hand over her tunic and looked over at Leia, who nodded at her.

“I’ll be back,” Rey said.

She silently walked over to Kylo’s hut, examining it for the first time as she neared it. It was sturdy, red with clay instead of brown with mud, and taller than most other huts. She realized with some shock that there was a smaller room attached to the back of the hut, something that had not been part of the original hut. Rey wondered why on earth Kylo had done that.

She didn’t have much time to think about it too hard, because Kylo appeared before her, drawing the thick woven rug that served as a door aside to step outside. He was wearing a fresh tunic and looked quite grave. But his eyes held warmth when he saw Rey.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hello,” she replied, feeling awkward.

There was a moment of silence, a beat of quiet as the two looked at each other. Finally, Rey swallowed and broke the silence, swinging her trembling hands behind her back to hide them.

“Hungry?” She asked, turning towards the path she had just came from.

Kylo walked behind her. “A bit.”

She felt silly, small talking with the man she loved like they were strangers. So she let the silence between them grow.

At Leia’s hut she turned to him, seeing his eyes on Chewie, who was chewing on some grass and looking more docile than he was. Kylo’s face was impassive.

She reached out and touched his hand. “You don’t have to do this,” she finally said. He locked eyes with her and sighed.

“Yes,” he said. “I do.”

He walked past her and she followed him into the hut. Both Leia and Han stood up from where they had been sitting, and Han’s face went pale.

“Be-I mean, Kylo. Thank you for coming,” Leia said, coming towards him as if to embrace him. But she paused upon seeing the look on her son’s face, which was stony and cold.

Rey swallowed hard and looked at Ben, who seemed larger in the hut than he had outside.

“I caught some rabbit,” she said quietly to him, nodding at the table. Kylo looked at her and his shoulders dropped.

“Good,” he said simply.

Leia and Han went to sit at the table, but when Rey went to move she noticed Kylo staring at her cot. Where they’d had sex during her heat. Did he remember it as clearly as she did? Had he been as miserable during his rut as she was during her heat? Did he remember how gently he touched her, how sweetly he’d held her? How she had cried, tormented, at the end?

She took Kylo’s hand and tugged on it, eager to tear his eyes away from what surely was a painful memory. It was the first time she had really touched him since then, and he seemed surprised to find her hold on him. Rey felt Han’s eyes on their joined hands as well.

She said nothing, merely led him to the table before letting go to sit down. The feast before them smelled good: the freshly cooked rabbit, the fried greens in fat, a bowl of fresh berries and a sweetened pot of oatmeal, Rey’s favorite. Yet somehow, her mouth was drier than a desert.

Han served the plates and finally Leia broke the silence. “Your scar is healing well,” she said casually, as if it was a great icebreaker. Rey looked at the unmistakable line running down Kylo’s cheek.

“It’s fine,” Kylo said gruffly. He looked at Rey before speaking to his mother again. “Thanks.”

Rey wanted to tell Kylo that a bit of that bear grease she had collected from the bear would help the pink scar tissue fade, but she suddenly had an image of running her hand down his cheek, rubbing the grease into his skin herself. She shivered despite the warm summer air.

“How’d you get such a nasty scar?” Han asked cautiously, shoving a bite of rabbit into his mouth shortly after as if he regretted saying something.

“A bear,” was all Kylo would say.

Rey cleared her throat. “He saved me,” she added. “Stepped between me and the beast. But we managed to take it down, in the end.”

Kylo was staring at her, just like his parents. She felt warm beneath his gaze. She tried to smile. “Biggest catch yet,” she said a bit playfully, but no one laughed.

They fell back into silence, and Rey noticed Kylo was eating slowly, or not very much at least. Was he having trouble eating? He didn’t look thinner. Maybe he was just angry or maybe…nervous?

Rey sighed quietly, but she realized it did not go unnoticed when Kylo spoke only a moment later.

“Rey’s a good hunter,” he said, looking at Leia. “Just like you used to be.”

Leia’s lips smiled thinly. “Well I had to be a good shot,” she said. “Han was always galivanting off, more interested in trading than finding supper.”

Rey felt the tension in the room rise, and although she realized Leia meant it more playfully than harsh, that both men in the room were unnerved by it.

“Maybe if you stopped arguing with me all the time, I’d be home more often,” Han grumbled.

“Oh, horseshit,” Leia said.

Rey was no longer focused on Han and Leia’s bickering. Kylo was stock still, his hands completely frozen midair. He was breathing unnaturally.

Rey touched his arm, and his eyes slid to hers. She saw the pain there, and knew he was upset. But he was holding it in. For her.

“Leia discovered a new use for willow’s bark yesterday,” Rey said, interrupting the tension rolling in waves throughout the room. “She put the powder into candies for children to suck on. Isn’t that clever?”

Kylo slowly relaxed as Han nodded and Leia smiled at Rey. Leia launched into an explanation of how to make the healing candies, and Rey watched Kylo’s shoulder slump back down and he slowly began eating again. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

But after a while, the silence returned. And Han, turning to his son, asked, “So how’s rebuilding your hut going?”

There was the smallest edge to his voice, a whisper of challenge in it. Rey froze and so did Leia, both their eyes on Kylo.

“Fine,” he replied, but his tone conveyed warning.

“You know, if you use the yellow clay from the west bank of the winter, it might be better for when it rains—”

Kylo tensed and Rey knew what he was going to say before he even said it; “I don’t need your advice.”

Han narrowed his eyes at his son. “Why? Did Snoke teach you better than I could?”

Rey prayed a silent prayer to the gods for peace.

“I don’t know, you were never home enough to teach me!” Kylo said, his voice rising.

“Boys,” Leia said sharply. “Don’t start.”

Kylo glared at her. “Don’t act like a concerned mother now. You gave up that privilege when you shipped me off to Luke’s,” he spit.

Rey sucked in her breath as she saw Kylo grip the edge of the table tightly. Was he going to throw it? She flinched.

The room was suddenly absolutely silent as Kylo stared at Rey, desperation and frustration written all over his handsome features. He turned away and slowly pushed back his stool from the table.

“I can’t do this,” he said quietly, and disappeared out the door.

Han sank into his chair and Leia sighed tiredly. Rey rose as if summoned.

“I need to talk to him,” she said simply, and no one argued with her. On the table, the dead rabbit was cold, the fat congealed.

Rey hurried outside and was just about to go down the path when she saw Kylo standing near the back of the hut near Chewie. In fact he had a hand on Chewie, as if he needed to steady himself.

“Kylo?”

He turned to her.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he said, sounding tired, not angry. “I just…I can’t.”

She bit her lip and felt the urge to touch him, reassure him. She didn’t quite understand the situation, but she knew Kylo had held himself together the best he could. She could tell he was trying.

Instead, she stroked Chewie’s nose. She swallowed hard and said, “Han said Chewie can be a feisty horse, but he seems like a sweetheart to me.”

Kylo didn’t smile, but something in his face relaxed. “You must have a way with horses, then. I’ve seen Chewie bite off a man’s finger and spit it in the grass.”

Rey sucked air into her lungs quickly, then barked out a laugh. “Kylo! You can’t be serious.”

“Sure I am,” he replied easily, not looking at her. “Someone tried to steal Chewie in broad daylight, and he lost a finger.”

“Gods,” Rey breathed, looking into Chewie’s dark eyes. He seemed calm, chewing on some grass.

Kylo finally looked over at her. “Have you ever ridden?” He asked, and Rey shook her head.

“As an outcast…no. But they let me feed the horses sometimes, and brush them down.”

Kylo frowned. “I see.”

There was quiet for a moment. Rey struggled with her words as they jumbled up in her nervous brain.

“Kylo…do you remember when I told you I was an outcast in my village?” She began, and he nodded.

“Well I didn’t tell you the whole reason why.”

Kylo blinked, staring at her, then frowned a little. But he didn’t seem angry. “Why?”

Rey cleared her throat and looked into Chewie’s eyes instead of her mate’s.

“I was embarrassed, and I don’t trust anyone very easily. And then, as we got closer…it just seemed wrong to tell you, like the past didn’t matter.” She shook her head. “But it does. I can’t forget it.”

Kylo looked as if he was about to reach out, but his hand went back down to his side. “Tell me,” he said quietly.

Rey swallowed hard. “Well, I did tell you the truth. My parents were drunks who got rid of me. But the truth is is that they sold me to a man who controlled the fur trade. I worked for him when I was a little girl and everyone just assumed he was taking care of me. But he starved me, sometimes hit me. But I had a roof over my head, and I was still…not an outcast, just a slave.” She blinked back tears, suddenly  reminded of the way her body used to ache every night.

“I taught myself how to hunt and make pots. But if what I made or hunted didn’t please the man, he would destroy it. Crumble my pots into dust, give my kills to his dogs to tear up.”

She heard Kylo take a sharp breath and he moved slightly towards her as a tear ran down her cheek. She did not move towards him, so he stayed just an arms length away, watching her.

“When I turned twelve he tried to mate with me. I didn’t let him. I managed to get away, and hid out in the cave and fended for myself. I became outcasted, as he told everyone I had stolen from him. But I knew if he ever smelt my heat, he would try again. That’s why I was so desperate to fend off my heats. When I heard your boots that day…I thought he’d finally found me.”

“How scared you must have been,” Kylo said softly. She nodded.

“I was so relieved it wasn’t him, and when you took me to your village I was still afraid he might find me…but I felt so safe around you, so protected. And It was so nice just to talk to someone again,” she said, tears dripping off her nose.

She sniffed and tried to brush away the wetness on her cheeks. “Anyways…that’s why I’m having such a hard time. When I saw you destroy our hut, it brought me back…that’s why I didn’t want to be with you during my heat either. I just didn’t trust you. I want to trust you. I want things back the way they were. But something inside me is still terrified, absolutely terrified to love you.”

Kylo reached out a trembling hand. “Please, please let me hold you, Rey.”

Rey nodded, and she was suddenly in his arms, engulfed by his scent. She felt safety and could smell his anger, but for the first time she felt sure it was not towards her. _Alpha will protect you. Alpha will love you._ She brushed away those thoughts as she dug her head into Kylo’s neck, where his scent glands were. He smelled so, so good. Like him, but also like her. That was the scent of their home.

“Starlight,” Kylo murmured, holding her tight. “I wish you would have told me.”

She nodded, but wondered if it would have made any difference. He had been so angry that terrible day.

He pulled back, his eyes shining in the darkness. “I’ve been trying so hard to control myself, Rey. I let my own insecurity override my thoughts the day I destroyed our hut. I can’t promise to be perfect, but you should know that I will never, ever, destroy anything of yours again. Especially not our home.”

She couldn’t speak, her throat was so thick. When she nodded he pulled her close again and kissed her forehead.

“I will wait for you forever, Rey,” he promised. “I want you to feel safe with me. We can start slow, when you’re ready. Maybe we can hunt together some time. I just—”

“I want to go home,” Rey interrupted. “Tonight. I’m ready.”

Kylo searched her expression, but despite her wet cheeks Rey looked sure.

“Are you…Are you sure?” He asked. A dark look crossed his face. “Don’t do this out of guilt, or pity.”

Rey touched his large hand. “I’m not. I want to go home. To our home.” She hoped he heard what she was saying. _I miss you._

He touched her cheek, stroking it lightly. She tried not to lean into his touch.

“Take the night to decide,” he finally said. “We can move your things to the hut in the morning, when it’s light.’

Rey sighed a little, but nodded. She knew he meant to be sensible. He caught her hand and kissed it gently.

“I love you, Rey,” he said. “But I want us to trust each other too. It takes time, yes?”

She gave him a small smile. “Yes,” she agreed. “I’m just relieved to be able to tell you all this, so you can understand. I know I’ve been cold and distant.”

Kylo frowned. “You had every right to be. I destroyed your home, your trust, and brought back horrible memories for you.”

Rey looked up into his dark eyes, encouraged by the warmth of his hand. “I’m the one who betrayed your trust first,” she said. “I don’t know what happened between you and your parents, but I shouldn’t have meddled.”

“I’ll tell you all about it if that’s what you want,” Kylo said. “I forgive you. You don’t have to forgive me yet. I am just glad…we can talk like this. That I can touch you again.”

Rey felt like that awkwardness from before was gone. She knew she had taken the first steps towards trusting her mate again, and so had he. She didn’t need to sleep to decide whether she was going to move into the new hut with Kylo. She already knew she was going home.

“Will you walk me back?” She asked, which made Kylo smile. It was a tradition for courting pairs, for the alpha to walk the omega back to their home. She felt a little like they were courting. They had never really gotten to do anything like that. But now it seemed like they were really starting to know each other.

“Of course,” he said. He walked her around the hut to the door, and she held tight to his hand as he began to pull away.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, her eyes on his lips. He locked eyes with her and waited hesitantly.

She nodded.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. It was a simple, sweet kiss, but it was their first in a long time. His lips were soft and warm, and Rey felt her body hum to life even as he pulled back.

“Goodnight,” he said. He squeezed her hand and then disappeared into the dark meadow, down the little path connecting the two huts. She smiled.

She’d see him in the morning.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late with this chapter, but it had to be a long one. The babies needed to talk more. ALSO DID Y'ALL SEE THE TRAILER????? ahh so exciting. 
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/1chibirini  
> CuriousCat: https://curiouscat.me/1chibirini

As she predicted, Rey did not change her mind. She packed her small bag of things up and felt satisfied with decision.

Han, however, had other ideas.

“Leia depends on you,” he told her as she fed Chewie one more time. “She won’t say anything, but she’d be devastated to lose you.”

Rey was surprised by this. She looked at Han shrewdly.

“Leia is perfectly capable,” she replied. “She was doing me a favor by letting me stay and work for her.”

Han’s eyes narrowed. “And you’ll repay her by just up and leaving?”

Rey’s cheeks flushed. “I’ll just be across the meadow.”

Han frowned. “You might as well be miles away if you’re with him. He doesn’t want anything to do with us.”

Rey shrugged. “He will respect my decision to stay in contact with you and Leia.”

Chewie looked up, chewing his hay as he received a scratch from Han.

Slowly, Han replied, “Oh, will he?”

Rey saw his gaze was behind her, and turned around to see Kylo walking towards them, a stormy look on his face. She felt her insides shirk automatically.

“Come to collect your mate?” Han asked, but there was an edge to his voice.

Kylo did not answer him. Instead, he looked at Rey.

“Did you decide?” He asked, his anxiety leaking into his voice. His dark eyes leapt from her face to Han’s and then back again.

She put a reassuring hand on his arm. “I didn’t need time, but yes. I want to come home.”

Han cleared his throat. “Are you sure, Rey?”

Kylo and Han’s similarly dark brown eyes fell onto her face. She lifted her chin stubbornly and threw Han a look.

“I said what I said,” she announced. “I won’t say it again.”

She could taste the relief Kylo felt; it was written all over his face. His scent was ridiculously strong as he gave off a silent warning to his father— _She’s mine._

Rey handed her bag to Kylo. “I have to say goodbye to Leia.”

She gave Chewie one last pat and ducked inside Leia’s hut while the two men still waited outside. Leia was stirring up some tea for a colicky baby, the soothing herb smell drifting all around the room.

Leia had been quiet when Rey told her she was leaving, but had smiled. Rey felt like the older woman had several thoughts of her that she did not share, and examined her face in hopes of seeing them there. But Leia’s smile just held a touch of mystery to it.

“I’m leaving,” Rey said awkwardly. Leia nodded and turned around, wiping her hands on her dull red apron.

“Come here then,” Leia replied, and when Rey stepped forward, the smaller woman enveloped her in a hug. Rey felt suddenly emotional; she and Leia had spent the whole summer together, making teas and collecting herbs. She had learned so much, and had felt a strange kind of safety with her mate’s mother that she had never felt before.

“Thank you,” Rey said suddenly. “For everything. I appreciate you letting me stay here so much.”

Leia gave her a kind smile as the two pulled back from each other. “It was a treat, having you here. I so enjoyed it.”

Rey looked closely at Leia and saw the glimmer of wetness in her eyes.

“I promise I will visit. Lots,” she told her, and Leia nodded. Rey touched her arm. “Seriously, wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”

Leia’s shoulders relaxed. “I’m happy for you and Kylo. You are a special girl, Rey.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile back at the woman, feeling perhaps like maybe she had found a family.

“Now then,” Leia said brusquely. “Have you got everything?”

Rey nodded. It was a silly question, for if Rey had forgotten anything, she could just pop over and get it. But both Leia and Han seemed set thinking she wasn’t coming back. Well, she’d just have to prove them wrong.

“Thank you again,” she said, heading towards the door. Leia didn’t follow, but lifted her hand in a silent goodbye.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate,” she replied.

The sun outside the hut was blinding even though the end of summer was near. Kylo straightened up when he saw Rey emerge, and watched her as Rey waved goodbye to Han, who still stood by Chewie. She and Kylo began walking towards their hut, and despite the heat she shivered. She was going to their new home.

Kylo led her inside, and she began looking around before her eyes could even adjust. There was two windows and a large, covered hole in the ceiling for letting out smoke from their fire, which was mostly ashes at the moment. The familiar mattress was in the corner, and there were several new pots. Shelves adorned the curved red walls made from wood although there was not much on them. There was a small doorway leading to a much smaller room, and Rey could see a small stack of furs in there. The bed was made and a small bouquet of flowers laid on it.

Kylo picked up the flowers and pressed them into her hands after he set her bag down on the bed. “For you,” he simply said. She smiled, touched.

“I’ll hang them upside down to dry, so we can keep them,” she said.

Kylo fetched her a leather cord and she carefully hung them from one of the shelves. Kylo sort of nodded to himself, staring at the flowers.

Rey quietly sat down on the bed and opened her bundle. She had her blanket, a few trinkets, and her clothes. Some smooth rocks, her bone hide scraper, her spindle, and a small pot she had made also were included.

“Feel free to move things around,” Kylo said quickly. “I didn’t know…I mean, I want you to arrange things how you’d like.”

Rey looked around the cool and clean space. “I like it,” she approved. “I’ll just put a few things on the shelves and put away my clothes.”

Kylo nodded and watched her anxiously as she did just that, aware of how the silence built between them. She sighed as she folded the last of her clothes away. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

Kylo, seeing that she had finished, asked, “Would you like to go hunting?”

Rey shook her head. She was afraid of going and discovering they didn’t have their old connection. Plus it was already high noon, the hottest part of the day. The cool, quiet sanctity of the new hut called to Rey, who’s insides felt tangled and nervous.

Kylo nodded. “Well, there’s plenty of smoked meat for dinner, so we don’t need to hunt.”

Rey’s eyebrows lifted and she glanced at Kylo, who had a hopeful glint in his eye. He knew Rey had a soft spot for food. She had reveled in their previous stocks for the winter, feeling protected and safe when she had looked at the smoked meat and dry jerky that had been stored in the old hut. But she hadn’t expected him to have any stored meat—he had been working so tirelessly on the new hut.

“How did you manage to hunt so much?” She asked, glancing over at the pots. Kylo shrugged.

“Traded some of my old furs for some. I wanted to make sure…” he glanced at Rey. “…there was enough.”

Rey frowned. Food, meat especially, was highly valuable. There was no way Kylo had just traded some rabbit or squirrel fur for that much…unless…

“Kylo,” she asked. “Did you…sell your prized furs for food?”

Kylo looked down and she had her answer. She had been impressed with Kylo’s exotic furs, which had been several bear and even a panther’s hide. He had also held several mink as well, which were more common but softer than anything Rey had ever touched. She stood and ducked into the little room to the side, which she had noticed there was nothing in it but a small pile of furs. She sank to her knees and went through the pile quickly even though she knew without looking that she would find no mink or panther fur.

“They brought no more warmth than any other fur,” Kylo said gruffly. Rey found only one bear fur, the bear she and Kylo had killed together. She was touched, truly, that he would sacrifice the prizes he’d fought for as an alpha. Like the moment he had offered to clean her blood soaked rags for her, he was lowering himself for her. Giving up such displays of his alpha to satisfy his omega.

“You shouldn’t have, Kylo,” she said, a bit mournfully as she thought of the mountain of thick fur he had previously had. He turned away to poke at the fire.

“Us having food for the winter is a little more important, Rey,” he replied, but she knew it was just talk. Autumn was around the corner, which was arguably the best hunting season. He had wanted to be prepared for her return. He had wanted her to feel safe and secure in their new home.

She wanted to go to him, touch his hand and kiss his cheek, but he stood abruptly and mumbled something about firewood before ducking outside. Rey listened for the thud of the ax against wood before she sat back and sighed.

He still loved her. That much was true, and now evident. Deep inside, she had known this, but had let doubt creep it’s cold hand around her heart. How she wanted to run into his arms and have him hold her like he had before. But the moment had passed, and she had to be satisfied with just knowing how much he loved her.

After peeking into the pots—there was a great amount of smoked and salted meat, as well as some root vegetables—Rey decided to make herself useful. This was home now, no matter how strange it felt. At Leia’s, she had picked and dried herbs, learned to spin wool into yarn, darned and washed clothes, hunted, prepared hides, and had tended to the sick. She could do that still, she decided. She didn’t have to change. She could still be independent as she had before.

With that thought, she took out her drop spindle, a handy carved piece of wood with a ball of wool wrapped around it. From it dangled a ball of wool yarn, with the piece of yarn connected to the wool getting thicker and untwisted as it led back to the ball of wool.

Rey licked her fingers and took the thick section between her fingers and let the wood piece dangle in the air in front of her. She held the ball of yarn with her free left hand. She twisted the wool between her fingers and let the pull and twisting do it’s work. She felt her hands grow steady and her yarn grow smooth, and she felt better.

She spun much yarn before Kylo came back inside, his arms full of the wood he had chopped. She sensed he had done it to get some space, for at this point in the summer, the only need for a fire was at cooking times.

They ate a quiet meal together, and then Kylo went hunting alone. Rey arranged a few things in the hut, and then went for a walk outside.

She gathered some herbs before the light began to grow dim, and then she headed back to the hut. Kylo was there, stripping the meat from a squirrel’s bones.

“Fresh meat for dinner,” he said, and she smiled at him a little shyly. He was a good alpha. He wanted to provide good things for her.

“Thank you,” she said, and let her hand rest on the curvature of his back. He paused in his work for only a moment, but she had already noticed. Did he feel the way she did when they touched? Was it still the same for them as it had been before?

They ate a quiet meal and then went into the hut, for the light was dim. Rey turned her back to Kylo as she stripped out of her tunic and leggings and slipped into a loose, sleeveless night shift she had made herself at Leia’s. It was a shapeless sort of design, but comfortable for the hot summer nights she was accustomed to. She slipped into the bed and watched her mate take off his own tunic and slip into more comfortable bottoms. And gods, he was beautiful, just as she remembered.

She turned her face away to ensure that he knew she was not watching him, even though her gland and her face felt warm. But when he did not slip into bed beside her, she turned back.

He was waiting by the bed, unsure.

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor?” He asked softly, looking more vulnerable than she had ever seen.

Her cheeks burned. “Don’t be silly,” she said quietly. “We’re still mates. I won’t keep you from your own bed.”

He nodded, looking unsatisfied, but he slid into bed beside her. She sighed, feeling his warmth radiating from his body, smelling his scent all around her. Their indoor fire crackled around the new piece of wood Kylo had put on it before changing.

Rey felt relaxed and nervous at the same time, as if her body and mind were at war. She wanted her alpha _so damn much._ It surprised her, how much she wanted him. She wasn’t in heat, yet something inside her thrummed with deep desire for him to just hold her close.

She felt strange, lying there next to him without touching, her body humming with need that had nothing to do with lust. She wondered, briefly, if this was a mate thing—if he felt it.

But that was silly. It must be an omega thing, she decided. A stupid, silly, omega thing. As she cursed her biology once more, she felt him touch her arm.

“You’re trembling,” he murmured. She bit her lip and tried to hide her expression from his eyes by turning her head more towards the wall.

“Don’t be afraid; I feel it too,” he said finally, interrupting the fragile silence around them. She inhaled sharply and turned her head so that their eyes met. The warmth she saw there softened her scarred heart and made her slowly reach her hand up to gently grasp his. Their fingers intertwined, and their gazes never fell. The trembling stopped and felt more like a gentle hum in Rey’s chest than anything. She felt calm, at peace in the warm hut with her mate. She could practically feel him relax next to her, his body and hers sending out the same signals to each other, comforted by their synchronicity.

Maybe this was a mate thing, she thought. Her eyes began to drift closed, but she tried in vain to keep them open. She found that she didn’t mind this bond they shared. It made her feel close to him even without his arms around her. Perhaps, she thought, this was better than the wild passion they had felt before. This felt more solid, like a warm fur draped across her shoulders. And maybe, just maybe, she really would never feel alone again.

~

When she woke, she was surrounded by the intoxicating smell of her mate. She noticed it before she even opened her eyes or felt his thick arms around her. When she did finally blink her eyes clear of sleep, she discovered it was because she was nestled in the curve of his neck, her nose lightly pressed against his gland. She resisted licking it.

In the night, they had become entangled. Legs, arms. It was clearly two-sided, no one to blame. It felt like heaven, like she had never even left the comforting circle of his arms.

She wanted to lick his gland and then travel down once he awoke. She briefly remembered the taste of his creamy semen, how delicious it had tasted to her. But she quickly banished this lusty thought from her mind and pulled away from her mate. They couldn’t run straight back into passion. A relationship took trust, she argued with herself. A relationship took time.

But Kylo’s unconscious mind had other ideas. Upon feeling her move, his strong arms crushed her back down to his chest. Her nose and lips made direct contact with his musky gland, and when Rey gasped with surprise she could _taste_ him.

Without a single shred of self-control, she moaned.

She felt Kylo wake with a start, as if her needy sound had called his name. She was silent, mortified, and he seemed stunned as he took it all in—the sound he had heard, the fact that their bodies were so close, the feeling of her breath on his gland. After a long, uncomfortable pause, he withdrew from Rey completely, almost pushing her away from him.

“I’m sorry—” he managed as he tried to get up out of bed. “I didn’t mean to—”

The tips of his ears were red. Rey felt a little shaken from the loss of contact, but she managed to sit up.

“It’s fine, Kylo,” she said. “Honestly, I don’t think it was just you—”

“I don’t want you to go away again,” he burst out. “This won’t happen again.”

She stared at him, shocked. A little hurt, even. But before she spiraled, she took a deep breath. His scent calmed her.

“Kylo, listen to me,” she began. “It’s ok. It’s what feels natural for us. We are mates. I…I…”

_I love you._

Kylo’s gaze was searching, pleading. She reached out for his hand and took it. “I know we are starting again slowly, but there’s no need to act like strangers or fear that I will bolt back to your mothers place.”

He suddenly looked at her darkly. “Isn’t there?”

She felt stung, and gripped the fur blanket on her lap. “I may have made some mistakes, Kylo, but I do not regret taking some time apart. I should have been honest with you, but you really did hurt me.”

Kylo turned away from her, his shoulders tensed. “I didn’t know if you were going to come back,” he finally said. “I lived in fear every day, wondering if you were going to bolt, or try and reverse our mating. I gave you space not just because you asked me too, but because I was afraid not to.”

She got off the bed and touched his hard, tense back. He did not relax beneath her touch.

“I would never have done either of those,” she said softly. She took a deep breath. “I love you, Kylo. One mistake isn’t going to change that.”

He turned and she saw his serious eyes searching hers. She stared back and waited. Finally he took her hands and dipped his head to touch foreheads with hers.

“We have some work to do, don’t we?” He asked. She nodded. He kissed her, softly touching his lips to hers.

“Say it again, Rey,” he said quietly, and she squeezed his hands.

“I love you, Kylo.”

He kissed her again, and again. He kissed her until she felt herself starting to dissolve into pleasure, and then they both drew back.

“Just be honest with me,” Kylo said. “Please. If we are going too fast, or if you want to see my mother, just tell me.”

“I will,” Rey said. “And I think we are fine at this pace, and I do want to see your mother.”

His lips quirked, but he simply nodded. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

He gave her one more chaste kiss. “Ok.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt is on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter for my favorite people! Thanks to all of you, I hope you enjoy this little slice of paradise before the storm blows in. That's all I'll say about that...

The next day, Rey felt better, more at home than before. Although she wanted to go and assure Leia and Han that she hadn’t disappeared from them, Kylo coaxed her into hunting with him.

“We can bring down big game together,” he said. When she tried to protest, he held up a hand and flashed her a mischievous smile. “I know you may be rusty, but only hard work will knock the rust from your skills.”

So with her feathers a bit ruffled, she grabbed her bow and arrows to ensure him that she was not at all rusty. She was so focused that she was startled when he grabbed her hand as they walked into the forest and out of the meadow where home lay.

They didn’t speak as they walked, but the warmth of his large hand wrapped around hers made her calm. Her focus narrowed as she spotted some fresh marks on a tree where a deer had rubbed his horns. She pointed at it, and Kylo nodded and let go of her hand. Both of them crept forward, her left, him right. She noticed him looking at her and he silently lifted not one, but two fingers. So there were two deer. He must of found tracks. She quietly edged closer to him as he followed whatever path the deer had gone.

Soon enough there was a rustling sound ahead of them. In the distance, two young bucks were battling, their horns clashing together again and again. They were focused on each other, not the sounds of Rey and Kylo approaching.

Rey felt a tingle run up her spine and she glanced at her mate. He made a sign towards her, but kept his eyes on the deer. She understood immediately and inhaled deeply. She could smell his apprehension.

She aimed her arrow and counted slowly to three, letting go on the third second. If she and Kylo did not release their arrows at the same time and both hit their mark, one or both of the deer could run off. Rey aimed for the eyes of the deer nearest her, and she suspected Kylo would aim for the breast of the one nearest him. It was his favorite shot because it was easier to get than the eye, but more of a risk at failing.

Rey hit her mark, and she was surprised to find that Kylo aimed for the eye as well for his deer—of course, he hit the mark. Both deer went down with dual cries, and birds in the trees above them fluttered and flew off.

Rey let out a whoop. What a score! Venison was good meet, the leather was soft and fine, and these bucks were big—they had had a good summer. She jogged over to Kylo, who had a little smile on his face as he gathered her up in his arms and spun her around.

He kissed her then, first short and sweet before dissolving into a longer, more passionate kiss. She stood with her face upturned even when he pulled away, her lips trying to chase his.

He chuckled. “What a catch,” he said happily. “I can’t believe we hit both. I mean, I can, but it’s so lucky we came across them in the first place.”

Rey smiled up at her handsome mate. He was no longer sallow, his hair longer and softer than it had ever been. He had a healthy pink to his skin, and when he smiled his entire face glowed. He was so very beautiful to her, and she rejoiced that he looked healthier than he had when she had first met him.

He turned to her, his brows lifting at her silence. “Rey?”

She shook herself from her thoughts. “Sorry. I’m so excited. I can’t believe you aimed for the eye. Why?”

He brought his hand up to cradle her cheek, his thumb brushing against the round, warm flesh. “Because even an old dog like me can learn new tricks, I guess.”

She beamed at him and helped him gut both animals and swing them both onto a high tree limb. They would stay there until they finished hunting, and then they could lug them home. They’d be safe from wolves and other animals up in the tree.

As they sat down to eat their packed lunch in a shady spot, Rey felt good. It was nice to be out hunting again. It was even better to hunt for something with a full stomach and with the knowledge that she wouldn’t have to eat whatever animals they killed tonight. It made her feel very relaxed and calm, knowing that they already had a store of food at home.

“Come here, Rey,” Kylo suddenly said, beckoning to her. She looked at him curiously as he sat cross-legged on the ground. But she grabbed her lunch and crawled closer to him.

As she paused before him, he patted his legs. A flush rose in her cheeks.

“Kylo, why—”

“Because I want to be close to you,” he said simply. She remembered her earlier admiring of him, and wondered if he had noticed.

She would not deny him this. She crawled onto his lap and almost squealed when he adjusted her so that he was practically cradling her, so that her head could lie against his shoulder.

After a moment, Rey said, “What if someone comes along and sees us?”

He chuckled. “No one will come along. Most are too busy harvesting to finish before the festival tomorrow.”

Rey nodded. She found that sitting with Kylo like this was enjoyable—she could hear the steady sound of his heartbeat, could smell him and feel his arms wrapped around her. She chewed on her deer jerky quietly then, thinking only about how nice it felt to be close to her mate.

Kylo finished before she did, and simply sat holding her close while she ate. She could smell and feel how pleased he was to have her near, eating the food he had provided. It was an alpha thing. He did not try to hand feed her, which she was grateful for. It was one thing to do it in the haze of a heat, but another to do it in broad daylight where anyone could come along and see.

“I held you like this when I carried you to Snoke’s village,” Kylo said suddenly. “While you were gone, I dreamt of holding you like this again.”

Rey felt a little embarrassed, but her heart softened. She knew Kylo had missed her, but to hear him speak of it…

“I watched you all the time out Leia’s window,” she confessed. “I wish…I wish we could have built the hut together.”

Kylo frowned down at her. “You are displeased with the hut?”

She reached up and ran her thumb up and down his mating gland to soothe him. “Not at all. I love it. But if I hadn’t been so stubborn, perhaps it is something we could have done together.”

Kylo nuzzled the top of her head lovingly. “I got it into my head that if I made you a home, you’d come back to me. But nothing is that simple, is it?”

She sighed and did not reply, only buried her head into his neck where he smelled so nice. Like firewood and pine. She loved him so much, her heart ached. She wished she would have just told him the truth and they hadn’t lost so much time.

“Stop, Rey,” Kylo said gently, rubbing her back. “I can feel how upset you are. We have plenty of time ahead of us. Don’t get bogged down by the past.”

“Ok,” she said in a small voice. He held her extra close and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Rey.”

“I love you too,” she replied.

That sat for a while longer like that, drinking in the feeling of having the other close. They eventually continued their hunt and took down a few large birds and one squirrel.

After bringing the animals home and dressing them all, Rey lay in bed thinking about that afternoon. Kylo laid next to her, his body curled around hers protectively. He was almost asleep, but not quite. He didn’t like to sleep before she did.

She felt strange as she thought of him holding her close, so lovingly, so protectively. She felt warm and almost lustful. But truly, she did just want to be close with Kylo again. She missed the feeling of him locked inside her, their bodies connected and calm. She missed feeling surrounded in love like that.

She turned in his arms to face him and his arms came around her to settle her into his chest. Both of them laid on their sides, and he began stroking her back, most likely to try and lull her into sleep.

But she could not rest.

“Kylo,” she murmured, hoping he would understand her tone.

“Hm?”

He just kept stroking her back. She sighed.

“I want you close,” she said softly, tilting her head up to kiss his jaw.

He inched closer to her, their bodies flush against each other’s.

She captured his lips and felt him wake up a little more. She could practically hear the wheels turning in his mind. But he still did not move his hand from her back.

Rey felt a little disheartened. Before, she could simply kiss Kylo and he would be all over her. Why was he so stagnant?

“Use your words, Rey,” he said quietly, and suddenly she realized that he was teasing her.

“Touch me please,” she whispered by his jaw. His hands gripped her back tightly now, pressing their bodies together.

“I am touching you,” he replied, and inwardly, she groaned. He was making her work for it.

“Alpha,” she whined. He gave her a sweet peck on the lips. By this time, she was desperate. She wanted him to touch her so badly, to feel that kind of closeness and vulnerability as she had before. She wanted that reassurance that he loved her.

She grabbed one of his hands from her back and thrust it between them so that his fingertips brushed her soft hair at the apex of her thighs, hidden beneath her sleep shirt.

“Touch me here,” she begged, and felt the most intense relief when he began to stroke her folds lightly with a single fingertip.

“Does my omega need me?” He asked, his voice rumbling. She nodded.

“Please, Alpha. Please, Kylo.”

She wanted to babble about everything she was feeling and needing, but she kept her mouth clamped shut. Kylo was quiet now, and she wouldn’t ruin this sacred moment by talking.

He kept stroking her, lightly dipping into her folds only to gather a little slick to make the glide easier. She tried pushing her hips closer, so he would go deeper, but he stopped and pulled away every time she tried.

“Be patient,” he warned her. “Only good omegas get to come.”

“Yes, Alpha,” she murmured. He kissed her very sweetly, and she threw her arms around his neck to try and keep him there.

“Tell me, starlight, who does this belong to?”

Oh gods, she was gone. The gentle stroking was driving her crazy. She felt like she was ready to roll onto her stomach and just present herself to him. His voice was so deep, his smell was mouthwatering. His arms so strong. She felt herself slip into the primitive part of her brain, and she didn’t mind it.

“You, Alpha,” she panted.

“Have you been good, sweetheart?”

“Oh gods, yes.” She murmured. “I haven’t touched myself, not even once.”

His finger paused right at her clit and she squealed. But then he pulled away, leaving her to whine.

“Not at all?” He said, his voice confused. “What about the heat you had?”

“No, I promise I didn’t, Alpha,” she said honestly. Suddenly she felt uneasy as she took in his smell, which was unhappy. He turned away from her and she tried to cling to him. Why was he unhappy? Had she displeased him?

“Rey…the pain you must have been in,” he said lowly.

She felt lust no longer clouding her mind, worry clearing it. “You made it better, Kylo,” she replied, remembering the sweet relief she had felt when he had finally come inside of her.

“It shouldn’t have been so bad for you,” he said. “You should have at least—”

“Leia was right there, and I know it wouldn’t have helped. It would have just prolonged my heat.”

He turned back, his eyes flashing. “It would have been worth it. It would have taken the edge off for you.”

Rey felt like bursting into tears. She had just been so vulnerable, and now he was angry. It frightened her, made her feel like that little girl again.

Kylo sat up and she curled into a ball, ready for his anger to explode. But he merely used his arm to curl beneath her and lift her up into his lap.

She made a small noise of surprise as he held her as close as he had in the forest earlier that day. He kissed her fingertips and her cheeks yet did not speak until she relaxed in his arms.

“Don’t be afraid,” Kylo said. “I’m sorry I was angry. I know you were just doing your best, Rey.”

She nodded, searching his dark eyes. He seemed calmer. She sat up a little in his lap and put her hand on his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her hand.

“I stood outside while you were in heat,” he confessed. “If I had known you were…abstaining, I would have gone inside and helped you through it a lot sooner. I heard you crying, but I thought maybe it would be ok, if my mother was there to give you something for the pain…”

“I wouldn’t take it,” Rey said, recalling that horrible time. “I only took something to sleep. I didn’t want my brain to be foggy.”

Kylo shuddered. “Rey, it was the worst moment, seeing you in so much pain when my mother called me in. If I hadn’t been in rut, I wouldn’t have been able to do it, I was so…”

She cradled his cheek. “It was my stupid choice,” she murmured. “I’m alright. But why did you stand outside instead of going to your hut?”

Kylo’s eyes were very dark. “And leave you and my mother vulnerable to any passing alpha who caught the scent of your heat? No. You are my heart, Rey, I could never let you get hurt. All I could do was stand outside and pray that you’d change your mind.”

She stroked his mating gland, hoping it’d comfort him. She remembered how fast he had came after she had finally told Leia she needed him. Of course he had just been outside, holding back his rut and enduring her cries and whimpers. How painful it must have been for him. Rut was powerful for alphas, almost as powerful as heats were for omegas.

Rey kissed his lips softly. “I love you,” she reminded him. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I can’t do it again, Rey,” he said quietly. “I can’t. If you don’t want me for your next heat, I will have to leave. Go to another village, as far away as I can so I don’t return until you are done. I just can’t see you in so much pain, not again—”

“Kylo,” she soothed. “Of course I want you. And I won’t change my mind. Refusing you was a horrible, foolish decision that I would take back if I could. Even if I was so angry with you, even if I didn’t trust you, I should have just let you help me through my heat. You took such good care of me during my first heat that I should have known better. I was being stubborn, and I won’t be without my mate again.”

Kylo made a sound of relief and crushed her to him. She felt no discomfort from it, though. She let him kiss her and hold her close as he calmed.

“I’m so relieved, Rey. I love you so much, starlight, and it hurt so badly that you would refuse me and take such pain.”

She combed her hands through his dark black hair. “I was stupid,” she breathed. “Forgive me.”

He kissed her soundly, awakening her lust once more. She sat on his lap and squeezed her thighs together, trying as hard as she could not to leak onto him. But soon enough she felt his hand run down her thigh from her knee, and her legs parted automatically for him.

“Do you still want this?” he asked huskily, and she nodded.

“Oh yes, please.”

“Good girl.”

She lapped at his gland and he practically purred. He let his finger drag up and down again, swifter this time. She felt almost like she could just come from the little bit of friction and from the dirty things he was whispering in her ear.

“I’m going to take you so hard when you’re ready, my love. I’m going to fill you and knot you again and again until there is not an inch of space left inside of you. You will be filled with my love and my spend until you simply can not take another drop.”

She moaned, loudly. His finger suddenly thrust into her entrance and she gasped.

“Still so tight for me,” he murmured. “Such a good girl, saving this just for me. I promise I will just touch tonight, take it slow. Don’t want to hurt my sweet omega. But you will take my fingers like the good girl you are. Stay still now and be patient, or I will take it out.”

She tried so hard for him. It felt so good to give up the control she had held so tightly to her chest. To trust him again felt like breathing in fresh air. She stayed still as she could and held onto him with both hands, but when he inserted his second finger she bucked her hips without meaning to.

“Still,” he ordered, and she obeyed instantly.

“Oh, Alpha,” she breathed. “More, please please please.”

He breathed an unsteady breath out. Part of her wanted him to throw away that Alpha restraint so he could just fill her and have him close. But the other part of her was grateful—He was taking care of all her needs first, both physical and emotional.

He worked her with both fingers, stretching and thrusting them inside of her. She tried not to squirm, instead letting her voice be the only part of her that was unrestrained. She never ceased moaning, it simple rose and fell depending on where he touched her.

“Such a perfect, sweet thing you are, Rey. And all mine. I can’t even keep my fingers apart, you’re so tight.”

He kissed her then, his tongue hot and heavy against hers. He added a third finger and she tightened her grip on his broad shoulders and threw her head to the side so she could breathe and try to control her body like he had told her to. It was so hard, so difficult to stay still. But she wanted to be good, so desperately she wanted to be good for Kylo.

He mouthed at her gland and it made her melt. She had little trouble staying still when he licked her gland. It felt good, was soothing and made her completely submit to him. She felt boneless and suddenly, as she relaxed beneath him, the tension in her stomach released and she came all over his hand.

He worked her through it, murmuring obscenities to her the entire time. When she finally was finished, she watched with half open eyes as he licked his hand extremely thoroughly.

“Take me,” she said softly, and he chuckled a little bit dangerously.

“Not now, starlight. It’d be too hard on you—I’m too amped up. Relax, my love. Perhaps tomorrow we will finish what we started.”

She frowned and reached for him. “Do you want me to--?”

“No. It’s fine. You’re tired.”

“Not that tired.”

He kissed her hand and laid down to snuggle her into his chest. “Let’s take it slow, alright? Just for my peace of mind.”

She sighed and he stroked her hair in the most loving way. “Sleep now, for tomorrow will be a late night.”

Oh yes, the harvest festival. She remembered how she wanted to dance with her mate.

“Promise me you’ll dance with me,” she mumbled sleepily.

“Hm?”

“Dance with me tomorrow.”

“I’m not a very good dancer, Rey.”

“Just promise.”

He sighed. “I promise.”

She smiled then, her eyes already closed. As she drifted off to sleep, the closed window panel shuddered, as if it had been moved by something other than the soft summer breeze.


End file.
